the week is going to end better than it started.
so much to be grateful for...yet so many things going on at once. i'm working hard to keep "perspective and focus" exactly where it should be: viewing everything else as a distraction. there are only few things i can be certain of and i try to remind myself of that everyday...the rest is walking in faith and the unseen, i can only trust.
this week has been unusually hard. i've hard tough weeks but it seems they keep escalating almost as if to build endurance and perseverance. is it ironic? i think not.
i started back to the gym this week. had been holding off due to the respiratory issues and infections. not quite back to par but i've taken precautionary and preemptive measures which will lead me down a road to recovery and healing. at the very least, solid runs help me to relieve stress and Jesus knows i've been feeling plenty of that.
closing in on the end of the first 8 weeks of school which means wrapping up two classes with major projects in each. that in itself has been consuming but then toss in everything else going on with the family and at the end of the day i'm spent, emotionally, physically, mentally...you name it. again i go back to endurance and perseverance. running the race...you need endurance and perseverance to get through those moments when you want to throw in the towel, when you wanna give up.
i had a conversation with the Father about things that arent good for us. Scripture says that "all things are permissible, not all things are beneficial." as some of you know, i had a little incident with a pop tart in which i had almost a third degree burn. yes it was that bad.
so i developed this ugly blister. the Father said...you see there are some things in this world that will "burn" you. i thought about that. after a few days when my blister started to heal, i realized that after the blister had formed while it wasnt painful i wasnt able to feel anything in that area. i had toasted some waffles and when i grabbed them to put on the plate, i noticed that i could really feel anything in terms of the heat and around the blister, my thumb was still sensitive to the heat. i thought that makes sense that we can become de-sensitized to things that could be harmful to us and because of that de-sensitized state - we cant tell when we're being hurt further by something.
i failed to open the blister early enough to let it drain (dont want to be gory here) and when i finally did, the wound was able to close and heal but its taking it much longer to heal and looks completely awful because i "ignored" dealing with the wound in hopes it would heal itself when what it needed was to be excised. if i had just dealt with the wound early on it would have healed properly and probably would have little to no scarring.
because i failed to respond quickly, the wound is now healing over itself...not a pretty sight. i'll eventually gain feeling back in that part of my thumb though its going to take some time and the healing process is now extended. made me realize that its better to deal with wounds when they are fresh, allow God to excise what needs to be and bandage the wound for faster healing, the risk of infection and the loss from a possible infection is too great. Not only that but when we allow wounds to fester, they take more of our time, energy, efforts, and focus. i'm sure the enemy, the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy, has figured this out and because he's familar with our nature knows we'll be reluctant to deal with the wound. it makes us ineffective!
i was thankful to see the lesson in something as trivial as a poptart burn...i cant help laugh about that even now. its good to laugh especially when things don't seem or feel like they're going well. i can say that regardless how difficult things may appear to be, i'm at peace. taking each moment one at a time and working as hard as i can at the task assigned to me. continue to pray for my family - there are occurrences i'm not at liberty to discuss and the only thing i can say is that God is able to do something miraculous in these situtions.
continuing to focus on "how he loves us," reading more, and spending more time with the Father. as you do, its easier and easier to hear His voice and recognize that Yes, He's very much there with you ALWAYS.
No comments:
Post a Comment