I seem to attract the problem child projects. And at first you might say, oh that’s not good. You’d have to look back at my life to see it’s a common thread. Right sizing projects gone slightly astray. Solutioning through strategy and deployment. There’s been very few challenges that I’ve been unable to work thru.
Lord knows I’ve been through some insane experiences. I’m a pastors kid, you’d think that would be enough. At the very least, I’m glad I can look back and say none of it broke me to the point of being beyond repair and a solely by the Grace of God.
I’ve been reflecting on the word resilience. Mainly because I came across a really great song and it’s been a constant on my playlist. The lyrics are very real to me about a specific time in my life but I think they apply to us all.
If I had listened to the naysayers, I wouldn’t be where I am today. It’s why I’m so very grateful for second chances and will champion second chances until my last breath.
“God only knows what they say about you”
I could write a book about that line. That experience has been a long process to work thru and in some ways, I rebelled taking the 180 in the opposite direction. I wanted nothing to do with very specific circles and purposefully kept my distance. Deep down I knew it couldn’t be that way forever and in many ways a shift has begun. I’m grateful in a lot of ways. I learned a lot of powerful lessons during that period in my life. It led to a lot of commonalities with Ricardo and allowed me let my guard down early in our relationship.
In certain circles, people find comfort in those who don’t ever challenge the status quo or who don’t rock the boat. It’s taken me a good 15 years but I finally accepted that that will likely never be me which suits me fine. It’s an advantage in my line of work. Tech is obsolete in months and it’s ever evolving. It’s a constant effort of reading and learning to keep current. I don’t mind it but it’s also a lot of work to stay current and thereby relevant to my workaholic tendencies.
I’ve never shied away from rolling up my sleeves and digging into the work. That aspect has stayed with me and I’m glad. Hard work are values passed down from my grandparents to my parents and now my siblings and hopefully, it’s a value that will passed down to our nieces and nephews.
Often times, we embark on a journey and at the time we cannot see the fullness of what’s at work. I look back at my journey and all the things that have led us to this point and time: at how events and people have impacted our lives in incredibly significant ways; how experiences and people shape what we do, and the call-to-action in our lives today.
Ricardo and I have a giving plan that we establish annually. We’ll chose a few initiatives to give to through that year. There are a few items that will be long-standing on that list while others may rotate in and out. We give because we’ve been incredible blessed. One of those blessings is the benevolence of our parents. I’ve watched both our parents give faithfully to community, family, and church in obedience to their faith and because they want their lives to count for more than just “seashells.” You’ll have to reference a John Piper sermon for the seashells.
Lately we’ve been feeling a few things weigh heavy on us. So we’ve taken steps to move forward in supporting those things we feel so strongly about. For me, that’s the greater calling of our lives.
This last year has been a lot about carving our own path. We’ve been settling into our outside-the-box view/approach/ and delivery. What we’ve learned is you can love your country and still question her approaches, you can support her while challenging her to be better. Questioning the why’s doesn’t make you any less loyal or makes you lesser or greater than those who don’t.
We also know we can’t be true to ourselves and our convictions while remaining silent. And if you think it hasn’t cost us anything, it’s cost us more than you could know. We’ve had folks we’ve know for most of our lives walk away from us. We don’t harbor an ill-will towards them but we also can’t deviate from a path laid and illuminated before us just because some don’t agree with us.
At the same time, God’s been really faithful to bring like-minded folks across our path and those who will challenge us when needed. I’m most grateful for those relationships. They keep us accountable to our calling and life’s work.
And all those experiences that have been meant to harm us have only refined us and defined our path.
They’ve colored our world in new ways and pulled back the curtains of illusion. They’ve given us a depth to our empathy and patience to our understanding that while it can be dark in reality is also beautifully surreal.
Today I’m grateful to be in this place. All of the past has led us to this point. We like to believe that nothing is in vain.
This week we meet with an organization to fund a new initiative in honor and memory of our nieces and nephews. Ricardo and I are not parents yet and we don’t know that we’ll ever be biological parents. But we fully love our nieces and nephews and desire a better world for them. We’ve purposes to work to that end. Some days we find success and others we find ourselves a few steps behind but we’re pushing daily.
I don’t know where you’re at in your life. Don’t know the circumstances of what you’re facing or what’s been said about you. Don’t know the dreams that seem so far out of reach. Maybe you consider yourself to be the “lonely, the ashamed, misunderstood, or the one to blame.”
Don’t give up. Don’t give into the beliefs of the naysayers. Don’t give into the thought that it will never come to pass. Maybe all you need is someone to be in your corner. Someone to say, you’ve got what it takes or it’s possible. Know that we are...no matter how badly you think you’ve messed things up, redemption is real and it’s closer than you think. And while it may not end in what you expected, when you put in the work and you surrender, you’ll find that what’s come to you is better than what you anticipated. Keep pressing, keep working, keep seeking...
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
There's a kind of love that God only knows
For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over
Oh for the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over
'Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over
Oh for the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over
'Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
