Hello 2011

This one comes a little late as we are now five days into 2011. I spent the last five days in Austin with Ricardo both celebrating the New Year and celebrating our one year anniversary. Yes, Jan 3rd marked our first year together.

This last year of my life has honestly been one of the hardest, most rewarding, and most lessons learned kind of year. It was laden with an interesting journey facing many challenges, lots of growth - learning - developing, and  gaining understanding in many new areas.

At the end of 2009, I had no idea that I would embark on a new path in a relationship. I knew that something was imminent but I didn't anticipate being in a relationship at the start of 2010...but the opportunity presented itself and both Ricardo and I took a leap of faith as we embarked on the journey of our new relationship.

As all relationships, the beginning was bliss...and for a while we were very much sheltered and protected from outside elements. Mainly because we created our own unique space in which to protect our relationship in. As we introduced others into our relationship and presented "us" to the world we faced new challenges. Looking back, I think we handled the interjections quite well. I attribute that to both of us being head strong but have seen that Ricardo has a strong understanding of who he is. it's some thing i see more and more when we're together.

i love him for that....

then...i faced family crisis/drama...not quite sure what to call it and in the process of that I came to a crossroads of discovering what's really important to me and why. Ricardo remained a strong rock through out it all and endured some of my emotional outbursts as I wrestled with decisions, finding resolution, and coming to closure.

Fall found us in a new place and as I struggled with making decisions that would affect my future...how i dealt with conflict spilled over into my personal relationships. A few years ago, I decided I wanted healthy relationships in my life and I've made conscientious efforts to move in that direction. I believe Ricardo contributes to my life in this way. He's helped me work through resolving conflict and managing it in a healthy manner.

The holiday's always place odd strains on relationships but most especially when its a "first time" scenario sort of thing. Thanksgiving found me dealing with skeletons in the closet so to speak and just the challenge of resolving my feelings towards certain circumstances. I cant say I dealt with them successfully but can say that the that process taught me some really valuable lessons. Lessons, I'll carry forward with me.

So as I approached the Christmas holiday season I was determined to approach it with an open mind. I was spending my first holiday with Ricardo's family and vice versa. We decided to wait to spend holiday's with each others family for a whole lot of reasons. We've done some birthdays, family events, etc...but nothing super extended. In the end, I enjoyed the time we spent with each others family's.

The time off (break from school) allowed me the time I needed to sort through the remaining issues...just facing the realizations of life in terms of school, career, and family. I've been juggling all three of these aspects but in terms of family I juggle my time between Ricardo and my family. Early in our relationship, I had a discussion with my mom about my time and where my choice would be to spend it. My family will always be my family but Ricardo and I have this one unique opportunity to invest in each other to make this relationship work.

So in the end, I'm very happy with the choice I've made...happy that Ricardo has remained committed and that we are now looking at 2011 with anticipation and great hope. I cant imagine having anyone else by my side as I finish up my graduate work. He's been beyond supportive and always encouraged me in accomplishing my dreams and I can say that I feel the same for him and know that in life the time will come when he will choose to pursue his own dreams and I hope that I'll be just as, if not more supportive of him as he has been of me.

I'm on the brink of having to make major career decisions with several interviews on the horizon and I know this year will bring lots of change...but its change that is good and exciting. Each year has been sweeter than the year before so 2007 was the year of new beginnings and embarking on a life long dream...2008 brought commitment to the dream, 2009 brought the reward of finishing, going to Italy, then moving on to the next part  of the dream, 2010 brought lots of work and great rewards in my personal life with the entrance of Ricardo....and as we celebrated the arrival of 2011, I realized just how incredibly blessed/lucky I am to have him in my life.

life is about finding balance...balance applies to many areas of life and I can say that Ricardo brings balance to mine. So grateful for him...grateful for how he helps me to see things from a new perspective and challenges me to be better than i am...but i'm most grateful that he allows me to just be me....

I have high hopes for 2011 and am continuing to work hard knowing that you ALWAYS reap what you sow..i'm starting to see the fruits of work begun in 2007. I'm excited to see what this year will bring and while 2010 may have been challenging...I can say that the lessons learned are invaluable and I will take with me throughout my life.

My resolution for 2011 is to embrace life and to attempt to live each moment to its fullest....whether its reading a book for a paper, or spending a quite moment with my love, Ricardo....to making career choices....I know that all good things come in their own timing.

so hello 2011....i'm ready to see what you will bring!

Life Lesson #3

Life Lesson #3: Passion and the hard things in life I was sitting in a field on Shelby Farm in Memphis, TN with some very close friends. The year was 2000 and we had traveled from Texas to attend an event. It was there that I heard something that caught my attention and forever changed my life. So I share with you now, the words spoken by John Piper to thousands of college students.

You don't have to know a lot of things for your life to make a lasting difference in the world. But you do have to know the few great things that matter, and then be willing to live for them and die for them. The people that make a durable difference in the world are not the people who have mastered many things, but who have been mastered by a few great things. If you want your life to count, if you want the ripple effect of the pebbles you drop to become waves that reach the ends of the earth and roll on for centuries and into eternity, you don't have to have a high IQ or EQ; you don't have to have to have good looks or riches; you don't have to come from a fine family or a fine school. You have to know a few great, majestic, unchanging, obvious, simple, glorious things, and be set on fire by them.

But I know that not everybody in this crowd wants your life to make a difference. There are hundreds of you - you don't care whether you make a lasting difference for something great, you just want people to like you. If people would just like you, you'd be satisfied. Of if you could just have good job with a good wife and a couple good kids and a nice car and long weekends and a few good friends, a fun retirement, and quick and easy death and no hell - if you could have that (minus God) - you'd be satisfied. THAT is a tragedy in the making.

I’ll read to you from Reader's Digest (Feb. 2000, p. 98) what a tragedy is: "Bob and Penny... took early retirement from their jobs in the Northeast five years ago when he was 59 and she was 51. Now they live in Punta Gorda, Florida, where they cruise on their 30 foot trawler, play softball and collect shells." The American Dream: come to the end of your life - your one and only life - and let the last great work before you give an account to your Creator, be "I collected shells. See my shells." THAT is a tragedy. And people today are spending billions of dollars to persuade you to embrace that tragic dream. And I get forty minutes to plead with you: don't buy it.

I look out on you as sons and daughters and I plead with you: Want your lives to count for something great and for eternity. Want this. Don't coast through life without a passion. But whatever you do, find your passion and find your way to say it and live for it and die for it. And you will make a difference that lasts.

So what are the things that I’m passionate about?

I’ll name a few: helping others, overcoming challenges, learning something new, and developing relationships that are meaningful. There’s no wonder that these ideals have guided my way in life. Unknowing, the roads I’ve pursued in life have moved me closer to my life’s mission of making a difference in my world.

When you pursue something with passion, you have no other choice but to throw fear out the window. You may be scared to try something new but it’s your passion that pushes you to leap over the ledge to that new endeavor or opportunity.

For me taking that leap of faith was going back to school which led to a month long trip to Italy/Greece.  That trip gave me the courage I needed to make the decision to move and attend grad school at Texas Tech in which I chose a concentration in healthcare where I feel I’ve found my niche, my calling, my passion: healthcare. For example, improving healthcare delivery processes such as improving wait times so that patients have shorter wait times gives me an opportunity to make a difference. Being involved and helping my community by working with Federally Qualified Health Centers or non-profit clinics lets me work indirectly with those who need the most help by improving and giving access to affordable healthcare. I have the opportunity to engage and overcome challenges by developing strategies in the current environment of healthcare.  This ever changing industry offers me a chance to learn something new each because the industry is ever evolving and changing just as the world does. My internship experience combines parts and pieces of all my work experiences. I can see now the once empty canvas of my life being painted into a magnificent portrait; stroke by stroke.

If I had been fearful and decided to stay where I was, I would have missed out on all the beautiful opportunities afforded to me such as meeting a group of diverse people through my graduate program or finding my niche in healthcare. I may have found my niche but that road may have been longer and more difficult to find. Don’t be afraid to do the hard things in life. Pursuing your passion and attempting the difficult tasks requires risk but as they say, "No risk, no reward." The rewards are well-worth the risk. If I fail, I can always say I tried and that I gave it my best effort. Even if the outcomes are different from what I expect, the intrinsic reward of learning through the process is priceless.

I believe if you pursue your passion and attempt the hard things in life: “You will make a difference that lasts.”