Time

I've been telling myself that I'm going to find time to blog more often this year. So here goes my attempt to do so. I'll start today's post with a quote.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~ Steve Jobs

I've been thinking about this quote for some time. Ricardo and I are on the eve of our four year anniversary. For awhile now, we've been getting the "is marriage on the horizon?" question. Let me defer a response for now.

Instead, I'll say that I had a conversation with Ricardo sometime around our first year together. I told him that we'd both know when the right time was for the next step in our relationship and that I wanted our relationship to evolve naturally over time: not as "others" would dictate our relationship should go.

We're both older both very strong-willed individuals and I can say that taking our time in our relationship has been best for both of us. Neither one of us has the expectation that relationships are a "fairy-tale" affair. Ricardo and I are realist and value honesty and truth. While those values are important to us, they do not come without a price or easily. We're both extremely self-aware of our own faults and in some ways that makes things easier and makes things harder.

All in all we've found our own rhythm and pace for our relationship that works for both of us. Unknowingly, finding that rhythm and doing away with meeting expectations has created this beautiful safe zone. It allowed us to create a safe haven to allow things to evolve naturally. So when we decide to move forward, we'll do so with eyes wide open and hearts knowing.

We've in essence followed our own hearts and intuition. There have been tough moments and a few when we both thought "are we going to survive this?" But you wouldn't really know what your relationship is made of if it wasn't for those tough moments. That's when you're really tested and with the challenge comes growth.

So I'm happy to be where we are: celebrating four years together and if and when the time comes to move forward - a joyous celebration that will be. For now, I'm happy to share a quiet anniversary dinner with the man who has my heart! To many more celebrations in future!

The last four years have been a ride and i'm grateful for the partnership we've built together.

Breakfast Club

New Year's Eve...

Where to begin?

Most everyone I know has written about the successes and/or failures of 2013. I thought about doing the same mostly because everyone is reflective this time of year.

You can't help but be reflective? Saying good-bye to the past and hello to a new year..its a sort of new beginning and aptly fits the title of my blog.

That's how this blog started out: chronicling the journey of life. Life has indeed been a journey. Sometimes a powerfully fulfilling one and at times its been draining and vampish.

Through it all: I've managed to make it through. Not on my own strength. Always because of a silent strength that only comes from faith: from God - the Father. If it weren't for that faith, I might lose my head, my perspective, my way...

It's that light that keeps me focus on the end goal of finishing the race and finishing it well.

I don't know what 2014 is going to bring though it will likely will bring major changes to my family. Some changes will be joyous and others will be grief-stricken...but we'll keep moving forward just as time does.

Not going to dwell to much on speculation about what is to come because it's just that: speculation.

Instead I can only focus on the present and the now. Reflect on the past and allow what I've been through to change and mold me in a positive light.

In the end, any reflection always leads me to gratitude which I think is only fitting since all praise to God is derived from gratitude. I'm very grateful for so many things...my family for one and then my job/work for another.

I'm grateful for my family and friends or friends I consider family (you know who you are!). Through everything we've been through we wouldn't be where we are today without the love, support, and prayers of so many of you. I liken your prayers to the support beams of a bridge. They're the foundation and because of you we're able to cross chasms and valleys...able to see glorious views. I know for many of you my visits have decreased due to the things going on with my immediate family. Please know I hold each of you in my heart, pray for you often, and even though we don't speak often know where our relationships really stand. We are grateful for those of you who stand in the gap for us. You have brought us joy. So I think of you often every time I hear Watermark's "More than You'll Ever Know." I'm reminded that we're in this journey called life together. Blessing #1

I've come to see and realize that I work with a great group of folks who are genuinely caring and so eclectic. I really enjoy my time with them and learn sooooo much from them. It's incredible! I find it to be a great privilege to be part of a group that is truly in every sense of the word: "collaborative." Egos aside, each working together as one unit. Blessing #2

Then there's Mr. Casillas - who many of you have known has been in my life for quite some time. I always reflect on us because we will celebrate four years together come Jan 3rd. This next year will likely take us on the next leg of our journey together. I'm grateful for him in so many ways. I refer to my bff's alot but truly Ricardo is my closest friend. He compliments me in ways I sometimes cannot understand. And while yes we sometimes drive each other nuts: he's often the solid voice of reason I need in my life. Yes I tend to be aggressive and assertive and no that hasn't changed much only tempered by some maturity...but I also tend to be all over the page and sometimes can be fragmented, overbearing. Ricardo keeps me grounded, keeps me real, keeps me focused, and he keeps me accountable. I can't thank him enough for that: can't thank him enough for our partnership and for the way he makes my world better. Yes I have found my better half...

This year has been a lot about change and growth. About understanding where I'm headed and learning how to support those I love most.

I know that life is going to bring additional seasons. Seasons that will be hard and seasons that will be joyous. But we'll weather them together.

It's not the stuff in life that's important: not the accolades, not the accomplishments, not what you accumulate: it's the condition of our hearts and the relationships we develop while we're temporarily on earth. 

I've spent the last year (actually last 7) removing cancerous growths from my life; focusing on positive contributors instead. Life is too short to spend with folks who detract from life instead of contributing. "Ain't nobody got time for that!"

One of my major goals this year is to be more a positive contributor to others. Passing on what I know and have as I'm able.