i've been wanting to write this one for a while but lately its been a little hectic. ok not just a little, more like beyond-my-wildest-imagination insane.
i promise i'm not a study-holic but if you've followed my facebook or tweets...then you're probably thinking "does she do anything besides study?" in this week alone, i planned a bday dinner for my mother, baked her a cake, and started working on my grad invites and will finish them up over the weekend all while trying to recover from an upper respiratory infection/brochitis. i'm asthmatic so it takes me a couple of weeks to get over those things once they've gone full blown.
so i'm still truckin along, determined to finish the semester strong. things like baking a cake or making cookies are more like stress relievers because i can let my creativity flow. uhmmm ok so, i gotta warn ya'. i might rant and rave in this one. my words have been inspired by this semesters activities and in recent days a specific situation.
alright, so we all know that in college yes you are often placed in groups and inevitably there's always that one person, for lack of a better word, the slacker. the one who thinks they can coast and free-load off of everyone else's hard work and dedication.
maybe the idea that everyone should carry their share of the load is a sort of "group utopia," an abstract idealistic of group philosophy? i can hope and wish can't i?
so what is it in us that gives some the desire to work hard and the others to slack and free-load? i'm not gonna say that i'm the hardest work on the planet cause i've had my moments of "slackerism." i will say that moments of slacking are not common and are usually induced by fatigue and/or exhaustion. it could also be that i think i work harder than i really do?
maybe that's the abstract idealism that "no one else works harder than we do."
i grew up in a home where i was taught that hard work in deed pays off. even if does not reap the rewards we think it will, the satisfaction of giving your all and doing your best is enough to make the effort worthwhile.
this is how i describe my parents. if any work ethic i possess, i owe it to my parents for instilling in me a desire to give my all and to do my best. for teaching me that there is pride in hard work even if there are no rewards and that is how i've approached most things in my life.
it is why i study all the time or am writing a paper or working on this or working on that. it is why i streamlined my life of activities and commitments a few years ago to dedicate my time to this linger goal called educational attainment.
i've worked hard for to earn my grades in the last two years and i have moments of "will it be enough" since i've not yet heard word regarding my law school application. but i stop my thoughts and remind myself that i can take pride in my efforts regardless of the fruits rewarded. i know what i've put into the work and know what i've gained as a result. what does it matter if no one else knows?
its this work ethic that won't let me slack in the remaining few weeks before graduating and leaving to italy/greece with a study abroad program. my living room is strewn with books and notes, evidence of my recent activities.
i dont know what life will be like once this pace subsides. i've thought about it. actually, its more like dreamed about it. God has been really good to me in that He's provided brackets of time to rest and relax enough to sustain me.
surprisingly i'm not the frazzled state i would normally be, maybe that's because i'm not working this time around so it feels more manageable or maybe its because i realize that i could be working and i realize that i can tolerate the present state a bit longer.
either way, light is at the end of the tunnel. one thing i can be sure of is that i'll take with me this "work ethic." i realized i'm a bit of a work horse. as in, i wont stop till i drop dead. it wasnt until the other night that i realized my parents are the same way. they wont give up until the jobs one. i've seen them display that in their careers, education, family life, and ministries.
one of the things i'm determined to do is take a family vacay. well, two actually. one with extended family and the other with my parents and siblings. not sure where or for how long, but a vacation it will be.
so what brought on all this talk of hard work? with all the insanity that is the semester, one of my groups had homework due. needless to say one group member was assigned less problems than the remainder of us in the group. everyone managed to finish their problems except for the person who was assigned the least amount of problems....no that person completed 1 problem. 1!!!!!
no comment....
so anyhow i leave you with a few final words
To have striven, to have made the effort, to have been true to certain ideals - this alone is worth the struggle. ~ William Penn
