a battlefield

the upcoming post about miscommunication has taken longer than I expected.

however, my grandfather is now home (such a relief). But my bro-in-law is still hospitalized and his condition appears to be worsening. we have a visit on the books for Easter weekend so i'm hoping to get in a visit to see him. just need to be sure I don't have a cold or some other ailment.

my mind consistently moves towards thinking about my sister when I'm not needed to focus on work or some other task at hand. I wish that I lived closer. The summer will prove to be busy and work travel will pick up. it's bittersweet because while i enjoy traveling - it means a weekend away from my family.

i dont know what's on the horizon and for now all I can do is to take one day at a time. i tell my sister that all the time: one day, one moment.

Random thoughts

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

I had to start this post with that quote... Life has been full of "circle of life" type events as of late. I'm working on a miscommunications focused blog but haven't had time to organize my thoughts around the subject just yet.

So the Steve Jobs quote, well my brother-in-law is having another surgery tomorrow and my grandfather is still recovering from a stroke. I've been faced with varying family dynamics which add to the complications. But I'm discovering this is life....change is inevitable.

I hope to finish up my miscommunications blog tomorrow. Should be interesting...

too close

Uncertainty

There are days when I wonder if I'm ever going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. After getting an upper respiratory infection, I'd consciously decided to eliminate unnecessary stress. There are still too many unknowns which are completely out of my control.

I'm trying to maintain an optimistic outlook but just as I feel the sun is coming out something happens leaving me feeling sucker punched. My grace and patients have run out and I'm at the point where I feel I've done all that I could.

I've sort of throw myself into my work which is partially therapeutic but brings a whole other level of unknowns. It gives me a chance to take a break from some of life's happenings as of late.

Some of you know by now that my grandfather was hospitalized and was readmitted yesterday. We're waiting to hear what the next few steps are gonna be. It's a but unexpected and that coming off the heels of my brother-in-laws recent readmission.

Something has to change soon. I've consciously moved towards healthier eating and have managed to get a few workouts in. Just working at adjusting my schedule and manage my health better.

To boot, I've started doing some spring cleaning. Decided my life has stuff I need to purge. Both literally and figuratively. Like so many times before, I feel I'm on the cusp of making some major decisions in so many areas of my life. Not easy but all part of being an adult.
.

gimme a cupcake

after this crazy week, I really needed the downtime of this weekend. I've literally been on the road most weekends since before Christmas. Looks like I'll be spending the month of March home with Ricardo heading this way to visit.

that man is a Godsend.

exhaustion is a funny thing and often I don't realize it's toll until i'm literally knocked off my feet like last week with an upper respiratory infection and then this week it was an eye infection. the dangers of working in a hospital.

i've worked to break my habit of touching my face, eyes, mouth, etc...because I had a nasty outbreak of a rash which I found out was due to the fact that I'm allergic to certain kinds of toothpaste.

oh man - me and these allergies.

I'm hoping the allergy shots start kicking in soon. immunotherapy shots does not equal fun that's for sure and they not only affect my schedule but my pocketbook! agh!

that's been my life in an nutshell for the last few weeks...being sick. no bueno and no fun. :(

so I took a brief moment today to examine why the illness and the craziness that is my life. some things I have absolutely no control - other things I can do something about. i realized my life needs some adjustments because in many ways i've not yet adjusted to post grad-school life.

not to mention that I have this crazy work ethic. i'm not married and dont have kids so its all too easy for me to lose myself in my work. not healthy I know...but its something I already know about myself and something I have to stay on top of. i dont think its a bad thing just about finding balance. luckily, i have a great mentor/boss who reminds me of the important things in life. he's got a great perspective about these things. makes me grateful for where i'm at and the position I'm in.

so another area taking a toll on the whole crazy work ethic/illness episode is my house. as in i still have christmas packed up but sitting in my living room. yeah - definitely need to get it shipped out to storage and clean my apt. i have piles of clean clothes and towels, and bedding that i've not been able to get put away...

so i think this weekend and the next few to come will bring with them some spring cleaning...out with the old to make room for whata i've already got! lol....dont need anymore new.

with the whole actual "spring cleaning" i figured that I should do some figurative spring cleaning and i've got a list going. time to roll up the sleeves and "Do work, Son!"

with that - sleep is calling.

peace, love, and sweet dreams world