ipods and alarms

i'm finally starting to settle in to the new place.

the last few weeks have been hectic with grad school orientation. while i wasnt looking forward to any of it, i can say that I see the benefits behind it. i'm even glad that it was required because at the very least i got to know some of my classmates. i definitely feel more connected to the community of MBA grad students here.

a few months ago, i could never have imagined that life would look like it does now. its interesting and so completely different than i expected. different in a good way but just adjusting to so many changes and making so many important decisions. making life changing decisions is never easy but i can say that i have peace about so many things happening right now.

life is a day by day adventure.

today's adventure was a bit painful cause of something going on with my left eye. it was not fun...but i'm glad to say that i'm better. talked with my sis, the pharmacist, and she super hooked me up with some recommendations. so i'm doing better.

also thanks to my best friend, Smange. i'm hooked on a miley cyrus song - which is crazy funny! i'm out for "party in the USA!" i just gotta say sometimes you need to be silly and crazy...makes life so much more interesting.

in the clouds....

quietness of heart

(I wrote this portion a few days ago)

it is a quiet overcast, beautiful day here in west texas.

hard to believe that i'm here. that finally..i've arrived to this point. achieving my undergrad work was such a long hard road that i often wondered "will i ever get there?" of course, i knew the answer to that and knew that God would definitely see me through. it's amazing to look back on the road and to see the progression from two years ago. they seem so far away (the years).

time is no respector of age, race, or position. it moves forward regardless of the circumstances regardless of where we may be or how we may feel. so there is no wonder that yes i am here now just alot of amazement and wonder.

so many things happening in my life right now and sooo many changes. i'd felt a little overwhelmed but that seems to have subsided. i'm not one to lay down in the face of a challenge and as always God has awakened an inner strength that i sometimes forget i possess...not because of me but because of who He is and who He has been in my life. i've also remembered that all my crazy life experiences and hardships have not been without reason. i dont hold on to those experiences in the same way but have allowed them to bring lessons i so very much need in these next few weeks.

there are many decisions to be made from what colors should i use in decorating my new home to what should my concentration be. i sometimes feel my head spins with so many decisions to make but i quickly bring that into a surrender and allow my heart to be quieted by God's gentleness. its been good, very good.

i'm waiting for my parents to arrive with my furniture. pretty excited about that since the place looks pretty bare at this point.

(written 08/16/09)

amazing how your perspective and view can change so suddenly. i'd been grappling with alot of decisions that need to be made pretty quickly. instead of going into a tizzy, i quieted my heart and listened. i've always trusted God to lead me in the right direction but over the course of a crazy summer i'd lost my way in that trust. with alot of moments to myself in these last few days, i've been found and am embarking on a familar road once again.

there are things that are different about this time around and so naturally some things will change. i was reminded of all the promises God has given us and in the right moment, heard what I needed to hear. i'm not anxious, not worried, not even occuppied by any of it but instead find myself in rest. its beautiful and amazing. i know there will be many tough moments to come. God never promised life would be easy and that i will be put to the test but I rest assured in whom i can turn to and trust. God is always faithful and through the course of my life HE has never ever left me. That i know to the core of my soul and spirit.

grad school orientation was very interesting and i'm pretty excited about this coming year. not sure what all it will bring but i know that I am here with reason and purpose and not for the ones i may have previously thought.

i've also come to realize just how blessed I am to have the parents I have. I mean who would load all my stuff, bring to my apt, unload it, and start to unpack it for you other than a paid mover? that's exactly what my parents did so that I could focus on orientation and other matters. i know they love me and know our relationship is evolving which is an awesome thing to see. i'm also glad to be close to my bro. should be interesting to see how that plays out but we always have a good time together.

alright so this is the song that's been prevalent in my life these last few days. something from Bethany Dillon.

"All I Need"

When the day is done
And there's no one else around
While I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart, You're in my head
You're all I need, You're all I need

There are a million voices
Calling out my name
But You're the One I want to hear
So make the others disappear

You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need

When the morning comes
And Your mercy is renewed
There's a fire in my bones
I'm not afraid to go alone
You're all I need You're all I need

The sun on my face I hear
You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need You're all I need
I'm drawn to everything that You do
Nothing compares with You

transitory

Thank you so much to everyone who posted comments, sent text messages, emailed, or phoned to wish Happy Bday wishes! I had such an incredible day and definitely felt the love! Many blessings to all of you for thinking of me! I praise God for another year of life and look forward to the work of His hand as I transition into a new place in life in the coming year!

Transition - the topic of today's blogs.

First, I realize i've not posted in a while. my apologies. new situations in life have required my time and attention. some of the new turns in the road are not ones i wish to discuss publicly so please forgive me. these last few weeks have been a bit whirlwind. i cant say enough how grateful i am to those of you, who have shared your lives with me in these last few weeks. i know we all live in various places and its been such a blessing to visit with so many of you and hear what is happening in your lives. i feel honored and privileged to share those moments with you.

so many of you know that i am beginning anew in a new town, a new home, a new school...while i'm no doubtedly excited, its been an interesting transition into this new place. the transition is not over by any means but i'm excited for what's to come. i place my full trust in God to pave the way and make clear the next few steps in life. i have no clue as to exactly where it will lead me but i know that in the end it will be for a greater good.

i've thought alot about the word transition. going from one place to another. what unique time in life? i've been reminded by numerous peoples in my life about what a great opportunity this is. i couldnt agree more. it is in so many ways a fresh start: a chance to seek, explore, and grow. there are a couple of aspects of this transition that sometimes makes me nervous but God is faithful to remind me of who He is and exactly what He provides. its been bittersweet.

i've written about the inevitability of change and the fact that i've known it's been coming for some time. It isnt until it fully arrives that you truly know if you're ready to walk in it. i've always said i wanted to live in the deep and not reside in the kiddie pool. so regardless of any apprehensions or fears, i just have to dive in and fully immerse myself in the experience. i'd rather live life with no regrets having tried than to wonder "what if." its that "fight the good fight" that i'm most grateful for.

i'm working diligently to finish the packing. its been a good experience and good to purge stuff i soooo do not need. in alot of ways, its been liberating to fully let the past go and forge ahead with a bright promising road ahead.

thanks so much for all your prayers and thoughts!

i leave you with the lyrics from a Watermark song "More Than You'll Ever Know"

truly this is how I feel about so many of you in my life! many blessings and the next post will come after the move!

Something brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you
Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been near God
And that's the way it ought to be...

CHORUS:
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh, you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
You had faith, when I had none

You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be...

You have carried me
You have taken upon a bruden that wasn't your own
And may the blessing return to you
A hundredfold, oh yeah...
A hundredfold, oh yeah...