Hello 2011

This one comes a little late as we are now five days into 2011. I spent the last five days in Austin with Ricardo both celebrating the New Year and celebrating our one year anniversary. Yes, Jan 3rd marked our first year together.

This last year of my life has honestly been one of the hardest, most rewarding, and most lessons learned kind of year. It was laden with an interesting journey facing many challenges, lots of growth - learning - developing, and  gaining understanding in many new areas.

At the end of 2009, I had no idea that I would embark on a new path in a relationship. I knew that something was imminent but I didn't anticipate being in a relationship at the start of 2010...but the opportunity presented itself and both Ricardo and I took a leap of faith as we embarked on the journey of our new relationship.

As all relationships, the beginning was bliss...and for a while we were very much sheltered and protected from outside elements. Mainly because we created our own unique space in which to protect our relationship in. As we introduced others into our relationship and presented "us" to the world we faced new challenges. Looking back, I think we handled the interjections quite well. I attribute that to both of us being head strong but have seen that Ricardo has a strong understanding of who he is. it's some thing i see more and more when we're together.

i love him for that....

then...i faced family crisis/drama...not quite sure what to call it and in the process of that I came to a crossroads of discovering what's really important to me and why. Ricardo remained a strong rock through out it all and endured some of my emotional outbursts as I wrestled with decisions, finding resolution, and coming to closure.

Fall found us in a new place and as I struggled with making decisions that would affect my future...how i dealt with conflict spilled over into my personal relationships. A few years ago, I decided I wanted healthy relationships in my life and I've made conscientious efforts to move in that direction. I believe Ricardo contributes to my life in this way. He's helped me work through resolving conflict and managing it in a healthy manner.

The holiday's always place odd strains on relationships but most especially when its a "first time" scenario sort of thing. Thanksgiving found me dealing with skeletons in the closet so to speak and just the challenge of resolving my feelings towards certain circumstances. I cant say I dealt with them successfully but can say that the that process taught me some really valuable lessons. Lessons, I'll carry forward with me.

So as I approached the Christmas holiday season I was determined to approach it with an open mind. I was spending my first holiday with Ricardo's family and vice versa. We decided to wait to spend holiday's with each others family for a whole lot of reasons. We've done some birthdays, family events, etc...but nothing super extended. In the end, I enjoyed the time we spent with each others family's.

The time off (break from school) allowed me the time I needed to sort through the remaining issues...just facing the realizations of life in terms of school, career, and family. I've been juggling all three of these aspects but in terms of family I juggle my time between Ricardo and my family. Early in our relationship, I had a discussion with my mom about my time and where my choice would be to spend it. My family will always be my family but Ricardo and I have this one unique opportunity to invest in each other to make this relationship work.

So in the end, I'm very happy with the choice I've made...happy that Ricardo has remained committed and that we are now looking at 2011 with anticipation and great hope. I cant imagine having anyone else by my side as I finish up my graduate work. He's been beyond supportive and always encouraged me in accomplishing my dreams and I can say that I feel the same for him and know that in life the time will come when he will choose to pursue his own dreams and I hope that I'll be just as, if not more supportive of him as he has been of me.

I'm on the brink of having to make major career decisions with several interviews on the horizon and I know this year will bring lots of change...but its change that is good and exciting. Each year has been sweeter than the year before so 2007 was the year of new beginnings and embarking on a life long dream...2008 brought commitment to the dream, 2009 brought the reward of finishing, going to Italy, then moving on to the next part  of the dream, 2010 brought lots of work and great rewards in my personal life with the entrance of Ricardo....and as we celebrated the arrival of 2011, I realized just how incredibly blessed/lucky I am to have him in my life.

life is about finding balance...balance applies to many areas of life and I can say that Ricardo brings balance to mine. So grateful for him...grateful for how he helps me to see things from a new perspective and challenges me to be better than i am...but i'm most grateful that he allows me to just be me....

I have high hopes for 2011 and am continuing to work hard knowing that you ALWAYS reap what you sow..i'm starting to see the fruits of work begun in 2007. I'm excited to see what this year will bring and while 2010 may have been challenging...I can say that the lessons learned are invaluable and I will take with me throughout my life.

My resolution for 2011 is to embrace life and to attempt to live each moment to its fullest....whether its reading a book for a paper, or spending a quite moment with my love, Ricardo....to making career choices....I know that all good things come in their own timing.

so hello 2011....i'm ready to see what you will bring!