he's my brother too

a personal reflection:

I was reading through my last blog and realized that I had written that I had spent time praying for my sister but failed to mention the time I spent praying for Cary. It was then that I realized my true intentions in praying for Cary were more to do with my sister than they were directly for Cary.

It was a conversation I had with my sister this morning that made me realize the travesty I had committed against Cary. Not purposefully or maliciously but more because he married into this family. It's been these last few years that I've watched my Dad really "adopt" Cary into this family: that I heard my dad say, "Cary's a part of my family! and i'm not letting anyone harrass him!"

Something began to shif months ago. Brought on by a few realizations and things that I saw (how certain people treat him). Realizing that we all desire to be accepted and desire to be loved. Cary is no different. I've begun to realize that we need to love Cary not for being my sister's husband, but because he's a member of our family.

I've seen the love of a son for his father in my nephew's eyes, heard it in his voice when he yells "dada!" Cary has become a part of our family. He's one of us! i tend to be fiercely protective of my family and for some reason it just really hit me that, that includes Cary! Right now - in the physical realm, there's not much I can do on his behalf other than be there to support my sister and the rest of the family. But spiritually, i realized, I can stand in the gap in prayer on his behalf!

something hugely monumental shifted...call it grace...call it mercy...but Cary went from being my bro-in-law to being just my brother! I choose to love him for who he is...not because of what he can do or what his talents are...or because of who he is married to..no, i choose to love Cary for Cary just as i choose to unconditionally love my own siblings!

so tonight I pray for my brother, Cary! May God watch over him and keep through the night! I know Cary loves my sister with all his heart and know he's done his best! i pray that his recovery is quick and miraculous not for Cary's sake but so that Cary can give testimony to God's power and to God's love!