reposted from a facebook entry:
i recently started training to race competitively in a 5K for the spring that would be running.
i figured since i was new to this particular sport, yes its a sport. i'd start with something small like a 5k and then eventually work my way to a half marathon before moving on to a full fledge marathon. what spurred all of this. well i had been a dedicated runner until a few years ago and have been trying to get back ever since.
i'm finally at a point in life where the opportunity has presented itself to really hit this goal hard. so here i am.
gym membership - check
running shoes - check
trainer - check
diet tracker - check
running playlist - check
the "ganas" to take it to the limit - check
crossing the finish line of my first 5k...priceless
so yes, i'm committed to this new goal/project. I've been at it for about three weeks and re-modified my diet earlier this week. I have an online tracker that helps me track calories and nutrition which has been really helpful.
AND TO ALL OF YOU who offered AWESOME song suggestions....thanks a million!!!!
today, i was determined to press myself and get over 3 miles in. so far i've been around a 14 minute mile. not great, not bad...but today...i wanted to get as close to 12 min as possible...so i hop on the treadmill, fire it up, and get the ipod "running" playlist going.
ok so WHAT IS THE FIRST SONG ON THE PLAYLIST?
this is soooo awesome...
EYE OF THE TIGER....and it was those first few rhythmic sounds that got me fired up and made me smiling while thinking, "OH YEAH...this is gonna be a good one." and i was thinking, this is like a video!
so there's something you should know about running...its not just about taking off out the gate. i mean...you gotta pace yourself and you have to build up endurance. something i'm working on during my early morning workouts with my trainer.
so no workout this morning...wait, i'm getting ahead of myself.
back to the just over 3 mile run. i fire up the treadmill and get going and finish up my first 20 minutes...take a hydration break of 30 sec and get going again. so as i near minute 12 in the countdown...i'm like..agh...endurance!!! where are you? but that's when "break my stride" comes on...and i was thinking about a particular situation and thinking "that's right....you ain't gonna slow me down" right as the chorus fires up.
Ain't nothing gonna break my stride
Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no
I got to keep on moving
Ain't nothing gonna break my stride
I'm running in a one touch ground, oh no
I got to keep on moving
TALK ABOUT MOTIVATION...then i was all kinda mad about the situation and so i channeled that energy towards finishing my run. So today just over 3 miles like 3.12 @ 12.8 min per mile.
so if that wasnt enough, i decided i needed to do a kettleball workout. yes, its basically a weighted ball with a handle on it and you do alot of movements with it. ok can we say, totally kicked my butt...but i can say that i feel really great so it was definitely worth the hard work!
i just gotta say that watching your diet doesnt seem like it would be that hard! But great scotts! its craziness....
alright..this stinky girl must shower. dinner with the family tonight! so glad they're in town...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Hardest part of love is letting go because yesterday i was not what i am today
for some reason, today was especially hard. not been too much going on but i don't know if it was a combination of the weather and songs that were playing on my ipod in shuffle mode or what...every song was a sad lamenting song. i was like, "agh - cut that stuff out!"
I had to program some peppy music. But then i had a conversation which wasnt bad...kinda necessary but brought me back to issues i'd not been wanting to deal with. so i was like drats! i figured its better to deal with this stuff now than let it fester, right? so yeah...that was loads of fun.
however, once i dealt with it, i realized - its outta the way! so i was able to move forward in progression and tackle some stuff that i'd been attempting to complete. one of them is my law school application. will transmit as soon as i finish up my personal statement. took a different approach this time around and i'm feelin pretty comfortable with it. had to design an outline and figure out my approach which was the hard part but soon after the words were flowing..now to cut it down to 600 words or less...not alot of room...but i will try!
i realized that my greatest fear is not in failure like i once thought...its in not attempting to try. if i try and fail, i know that i did everything i could and that's all there is to it. as family, i've seen and been through too many things to know that its not over until its over. God is God and when He decides to prevail there's no stoppin Him. I trust that fully...and am walking in that fully. Just gotta keep moving forward.
i also realized that i could be my dream's worst nightmare. so i decided to stop thinking through every step and scrutinizing. i mean, i'm here for a reason but might as well enjoy my time here. you can become so robotic that you miss out on those zealous beautiful moments of life. like tonights random cheese-less pizza at my bro's in front of his fireplace with a lit fire. it was relaxing and i realize i might not have moments like that with my bro forever. with my sister being so far away and my brother being so close like almost a few blocks away from me, its easy to take advantage of the time i have with him. but i think about how rarely i get to see my sis...and i realize that could be me and my bro.
not sure what city i'm going to end up in for law school..just know that i'm going to law school...that is most defintiely a done deal.
ok so my tia is in town..and my parents will be here tomorrow night and a friend's band is gonna be here sat night and staying with my bro. so lots of visitors this weekend and it couldnt come at a better time. also i cant remember if i wrote about it yesterday, but came across my best friend from junior/high school on facebook and now my closest cousin is on...its like a (singing) "family reunion"!
Jaci is my best friend from junior/high school and man...i could write a book of all the stories with that girl. its been really awesome cause i feel like we pick up right where we left off. you know sometimes, when time passes between two people - it can be a bit awkward. with her, it was natural and comfortable. i always had a good time with her around..may have gotten into more trouble than i bargained for but that's why i loved her and love her still! there are some relationships - no matter what happens - you cant change how you feel about that person.
ok so there's a song i've been listening to for a few weeks. i was debating about posting it but just been alot of stuff happening not just in my own life but people around me that i really care about. so the posting came out of conversations that i've had recently. these conversatins have led to bigger projects and deeper understanding and some concerns for community or the sense of. i can say that in my life, I feel community with not just my family who i love and i know they love me but good friends who have been placed in my life. i cant say enough about how i've been blessed by these relationships and what they have added to my life.
as adults or young adults - no matter your age - facing life's challenges can be tough enough but having support and caring people to surround you in those difficult moments can make all the difference in how you come out of the situation. i'm grateful for those people who have surrounded our family during this last month and most especially my sister's family! but as you face challenging moments in life, friends and family can be like training wheels. as you face more challenging moments, you know that you go deal with the situation at hand and that at the end of the day - doesnt really matter who is or isnt around - you're never alone and never left to carry the burden on your own. there's comfort in that knowledge.
i cant say that the transition to LBK has been 100% smooth or that things have worked out like i anticipated or even hoped...but i can say that i've learned some beautiful lessons through it. even though i joke with my best friend, Smange, about forming a band called The Bitter Two (she knows what it means), i'm working to stay on the positive side of life. i figure there's already too much negativism in the world anyhow...and God's got my back already so what more do i need? its wonderfully liberating!
uhmmm so switching gears here for a minute.
i've officially begun training for my competitive 5k. as in counting calories and watchin nutrition and getting in my cardio workouts and a new training session next week at 6am! whooo hooo!
we have another home game this weekend - hence the familia in town. let's hope we dont embarrass ourselves this time around...oh sweet baby Jesus can you have mercy on us? lol...GUNS UP!!! i'll be sporting my "wicked witch of TTU tights" this weekend...and yes i'm gonna get pics. though i'm not sure what shoes to wear exactly...but weather's supposed to be nice. alright. goodnight and peace be upon you, peace be upon you, peace be upon you (let's see if you know which song that is!) nighty-night loves!
I had to program some peppy music. But then i had a conversation which wasnt bad...kinda necessary but brought me back to issues i'd not been wanting to deal with. so i was like drats! i figured its better to deal with this stuff now than let it fester, right? so yeah...that was loads of fun.
however, once i dealt with it, i realized - its outta the way! so i was able to move forward in progression and tackle some stuff that i'd been attempting to complete. one of them is my law school application. will transmit as soon as i finish up my personal statement. took a different approach this time around and i'm feelin pretty comfortable with it. had to design an outline and figure out my approach which was the hard part but soon after the words were flowing..now to cut it down to 600 words or less...not alot of room...but i will try!
i realized that my greatest fear is not in failure like i once thought...its in not attempting to try. if i try and fail, i know that i did everything i could and that's all there is to it. as family, i've seen and been through too many things to know that its not over until its over. God is God and when He decides to prevail there's no stoppin Him. I trust that fully...and am walking in that fully. Just gotta keep moving forward.
i also realized that i could be my dream's worst nightmare. so i decided to stop thinking through every step and scrutinizing. i mean, i'm here for a reason but might as well enjoy my time here. you can become so robotic that you miss out on those zealous beautiful moments of life. like tonights random cheese-less pizza at my bro's in front of his fireplace with a lit fire. it was relaxing and i realize i might not have moments like that with my bro forever. with my sister being so far away and my brother being so close like almost a few blocks away from me, its easy to take advantage of the time i have with him. but i think about how rarely i get to see my sis...and i realize that could be me and my bro.
not sure what city i'm going to end up in for law school..just know that i'm going to law school...that is most defintiely a done deal.
ok so my tia is in town..and my parents will be here tomorrow night and a friend's band is gonna be here sat night and staying with my bro. so lots of visitors this weekend and it couldnt come at a better time. also i cant remember if i wrote about it yesterday, but came across my best friend from junior/high school on facebook and now my closest cousin is on...its like a (singing) "family reunion"!
Jaci is my best friend from junior/high school and man...i could write a book of all the stories with that girl. its been really awesome cause i feel like we pick up right where we left off. you know sometimes, when time passes between two people - it can be a bit awkward. with her, it was natural and comfortable. i always had a good time with her around..may have gotten into more trouble than i bargained for but that's why i loved her and love her still! there are some relationships - no matter what happens - you cant change how you feel about that person.
ok so there's a song i've been listening to for a few weeks. i was debating about posting it but just been alot of stuff happening not just in my own life but people around me that i really care about. so the posting came out of conversations that i've had recently. these conversatins have led to bigger projects and deeper understanding and some concerns for community or the sense of. i can say that in my life, I feel community with not just my family who i love and i know they love me but good friends who have been placed in my life. i cant say enough about how i've been blessed by these relationships and what they have added to my life.
as adults or young adults - no matter your age - facing life's challenges can be tough enough but having support and caring people to surround you in those difficult moments can make all the difference in how you come out of the situation. i'm grateful for those people who have surrounded our family during this last month and most especially my sister's family! but as you face challenging moments in life, friends and family can be like training wheels. as you face more challenging moments, you know that you go deal with the situation at hand and that at the end of the day - doesnt really matter who is or isnt around - you're never alone and never left to carry the burden on your own. there's comfort in that knowledge.
i cant say that the transition to LBK has been 100% smooth or that things have worked out like i anticipated or even hoped...but i can say that i've learned some beautiful lessons through it. even though i joke with my best friend, Smange, about forming a band called The Bitter Two (she knows what it means), i'm working to stay on the positive side of life. i figure there's already too much negativism in the world anyhow...and God's got my back already so what more do i need? its wonderfully liberating!
uhmmm so switching gears here for a minute.
i've officially begun training for my competitive 5k. as in counting calories and watchin nutrition and getting in my cardio workouts and a new training session next week at 6am! whooo hooo!
we have another home game this weekend - hence the familia in town. let's hope we dont embarrass ourselves this time around...oh sweet baby Jesus can you have mercy on us? lol...GUNS UP!!! i'll be sporting my "wicked witch of TTU tights" this weekend...and yes i'm gonna get pics. though i'm not sure what shoes to wear exactly...but weather's supposed to be nice. alright. goodnight and peace be upon you, peace be upon you, peace be upon you (let's see if you know which song that is!) nighty-night loves!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
TODAY HAS ROCKED!!!
cold front movin in tonight! gonna be cold and for the third night in a row, i cooked dinner! WHOO HOOO...
meant to write this blog a bit earlier but got side-tracked. finishin up my law school application and working on my personal statement. decided to take a different approach so we'll see how that works out. alot of great things going on. parents will be here once again for another home game! i really missed them while they were gone.
still crackin up at this picture of my two nephews in their costumes. they are two cute kids!
my aim today was productivity and for the most part, i managed to accomplish what needed to be done. have homework and exams due the end of this week and start of next so trying to get ahead of that ball game.
back in the gym a bit more regularly and working on a training program with a trainer who i really really like. so excited about that and hopefully by the first of next year, i'll have run competitively in my first 5k.
working on setting some goals and targeting some new projects, super excited about that. can't say much other than, things are in the planning stages.
alright...i'm exhausted. have a few thoughts i'd like to share but will post tomorrow sometime.
meant to write this blog a bit earlier but got side-tracked. finishin up my law school application and working on my personal statement. decided to take a different approach so we'll see how that works out. alot of great things going on. parents will be here once again for another home game! i really missed them while they were gone.
still crackin up at this picture of my two nephews in their costumes. they are two cute kids!
my aim today was productivity and for the most part, i managed to accomplish what needed to be done. have homework and exams due the end of this week and start of next so trying to get ahead of that ball game.
back in the gym a bit more regularly and working on a training program with a trainer who i really really like. so excited about that and hopefully by the first of next year, i'll have run competitively in my first 5k.
working on setting some goals and targeting some new projects, super excited about that. can't say much other than, things are in the planning stages.
alright...i'm exhausted. have a few thoughts i'd like to share but will post tomorrow sometime.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
two dinosaurs and a pumpkin
i'm biased i know, but i happen to have the cutest two nephews on the planet! every fiber of their being is 100% boy! i was so jealous of my parents getting to spend almost 2 weeks with them though I know they needed "Gee and Popo" time. i'm hopin to make it up around Christmas time. i miss them more than they could know. i realized today, that they are growing so quickly and all too soon Timothy will loose that little boy voice and be towering over me. I pray that day is prolonged as long as possible. for now they are my darling little sweet, rambunctious nephews that i adore with all my heart.
i'm currently listening to "The Sunnyside of the Street" by Steve Tyrell. today was a really peaceful day. i needed one of those with all the recent raging chaos. It seems to have finally subsided and seemed to do so once i firmly set my mind about some burdensome decisions. i'd been back and forth about a few things but everything's become much clearer in the last few days. like the fog lifted and now, i know what i gotta do: no questions...every conversation, thought, lesson learned - all pointing in the same direction.
it's hardly something i can ignore.
i ran across an old friend today...actually one of my best friends through junior/high school. she found me on facebook of all places and we got to chat via im for a bit. was good to catch up to here as i've often wondered how she was doing and what she was up to. i know some people dont necessarily agree with the online social networks and i understand their reasoning. much like some people in my life aren't happy about texting, etc. it's seemed to have changed how we sometimes relate to one another in person or even the inability to relate.
for instance, there's someone in my life that no matter where we go...this person is always texting. i could be sharing something and i'll get "uh huh" and i know this person is not listening. i also realized that i caught myself doing that the last time i was with my bro. so the new rule is that when i'm with others. the phone gets put on silent or turned off...cause honestly...what is more important than giving my undivided attention with the person i'm spending one-on-one time with.
not only that but being that dependent on technology has a strange affect on the soul. i only say this because i'd been reading comments or hearing from friends who were upset when they couldnt "harvest their crops" or check on their "cafe" via applications on facebook.
yes i'll admit I may be a farmville/cafeworld junkie. but i thought about that game...seriously...when does it end? does it ever or is it just a trap to keep gaining coins by farming crops or making dishes that you harvest/sell? isnt that so very much like the rat race of life? working to accomplish or gain more stuff? and at the end of the day what does it leave you with? a sense of accomplisment? not really...at least not for me.
the problem with these games is that you have to come back within a certain time or your crops wither or your food spoils...and so it ensnares you and then what are you putting off to tend to your crops or cafe? i realized that my time could be better spent working on other projects and accomplishing some things i've wanted to accomplish. like joining a gym and working out with a trainer and training to compete competitively in a 5k come next spring. yes that's the goal i've set and i'll be darned if farmville or cafeworld is gonna get in the way of that goal.
there's more than just the physical aspect of training and i can see why Paul related training for a race to our spiritual walks. i was given a statistic that it takes 2 weeks to get into shape and just three to fall out of. YIKES! 14 to 3. that's not a good ratio in terms of what it takes to lose the progress you've made in training. so what does that mean? you dont have time to be laxed or to relax. when its on, its on...and you gotta be diligent. so that's how i'm approaching this training...baby steps for now but will step it up inside of two weeks. why, because i'm determined.
i rediscovered this fire that i thought was missing. its the "just get out of my way, dont even bother, i ain't gonna quite till i get to where i'm supposed to be, nothin will get in my way" fire. it seems to be back with a vengence. the only possible deterrent: Krispy Kreme when the light's on or any donut shop in the LBK. yes..i know seems petty, but i'm not even kidding. Donuts/pasteries/pan dulce/dessert is my achilles heel. as for all the other projects in my life, moving forward full steam ahead. lots and lots of work...but in the end, i know it will be worth it. won't stop: can't be stopped.
also have a few new projects on the horizon. i have no clue where i'm gonna end up in this journey. seriously...life changed dramatically from graduation to Italy/Greece then to moving to a new city and even now, it does not look like i expected to. mostly in alot of good ways, coupled by some learning curves but all in all i'm grateful to be here: in this place at this time.
there are no excuses, no reasons...it's gotta be what it's gotta be and this is where rubber hits the road or my shoes hit the pavement. i'm not chasing pavement this time, Adele. No, its time to shut up and put up. whoooooo!
yeah no sadness here, no weeping and wallowing inspite of recent events. only hope, optimism, and determination. its amazingly beautiful and something beyond myself. Only God could explain.
challenging myself to be better each day and challenging the people around me.
as much as i'm not a fan of Miley Cyrus, I do think she got in right in her song "The Climb." It's great to get to the top but what put you there is the labor that went into the climb. definitely can't wait to see what the view looks like from the top!
i'm currently listening to "The Sunnyside of the Street" by Steve Tyrell. today was a really peaceful day. i needed one of those with all the recent raging chaos. It seems to have finally subsided and seemed to do so once i firmly set my mind about some burdensome decisions. i'd been back and forth about a few things but everything's become much clearer in the last few days. like the fog lifted and now, i know what i gotta do: no questions...every conversation, thought, lesson learned - all pointing in the same direction.
it's hardly something i can ignore.
i ran across an old friend today...actually one of my best friends through junior/high school. she found me on facebook of all places and we got to chat via im for a bit. was good to catch up to here as i've often wondered how she was doing and what she was up to. i know some people dont necessarily agree with the online social networks and i understand their reasoning. much like some people in my life aren't happy about texting, etc. it's seemed to have changed how we sometimes relate to one another in person or even the inability to relate.
for instance, there's someone in my life that no matter where we go...this person is always texting. i could be sharing something and i'll get "uh huh" and i know this person is not listening. i also realized that i caught myself doing that the last time i was with my bro. so the new rule is that when i'm with others. the phone gets put on silent or turned off...cause honestly...what is more important than giving my undivided attention with the person i'm spending one-on-one time with.
not only that but being that dependent on technology has a strange affect on the soul. i only say this because i'd been reading comments or hearing from friends who were upset when they couldnt "harvest their crops" or check on their "cafe" via applications on facebook.
yes i'll admit I may be a farmville/cafeworld junkie. but i thought about that game...seriously...when does it end? does it ever or is it just a trap to keep gaining coins by farming crops or making dishes that you harvest/sell? isnt that so very much like the rat race of life? working to accomplish or gain more stuff? and at the end of the day what does it leave you with? a sense of accomplisment? not really...at least not for me.
the problem with these games is that you have to come back within a certain time or your crops wither or your food spoils...and so it ensnares you and then what are you putting off to tend to your crops or cafe? i realized that my time could be better spent working on other projects and accomplishing some things i've wanted to accomplish. like joining a gym and working out with a trainer and training to compete competitively in a 5k come next spring. yes that's the goal i've set and i'll be darned if farmville or cafeworld is gonna get in the way of that goal.
there's more than just the physical aspect of training and i can see why Paul related training for a race to our spiritual walks. i was given a statistic that it takes 2 weeks to get into shape and just three to fall out of. YIKES! 14 to 3. that's not a good ratio in terms of what it takes to lose the progress you've made in training. so what does that mean? you dont have time to be laxed or to relax. when its on, its on...and you gotta be diligent. so that's how i'm approaching this training...baby steps for now but will step it up inside of two weeks. why, because i'm determined.
i rediscovered this fire that i thought was missing. its the "just get out of my way, dont even bother, i ain't gonna quite till i get to where i'm supposed to be, nothin will get in my way" fire. it seems to be back with a vengence. the only possible deterrent: Krispy Kreme when the light's on or any donut shop in the LBK. yes..i know seems petty, but i'm not even kidding. Donuts/pasteries/pan dulce/dessert is my achilles heel. as for all the other projects in my life, moving forward full steam ahead. lots and lots of work...but in the end, i know it will be worth it. won't stop: can't be stopped.
also have a few new projects on the horizon. i have no clue where i'm gonna end up in this journey. seriously...life changed dramatically from graduation to Italy/Greece then to moving to a new city and even now, it does not look like i expected to. mostly in alot of good ways, coupled by some learning curves but all in all i'm grateful to be here: in this place at this time.
there are no excuses, no reasons...it's gotta be what it's gotta be and this is where rubber hits the road or my shoes hit the pavement. i'm not chasing pavement this time, Adele. No, its time to shut up and put up. whoooooo!
yeah no sadness here, no weeping and wallowing inspite of recent events. only hope, optimism, and determination. its amazingly beautiful and something beyond myself. Only God could explain.
challenging myself to be better each day and challenging the people around me.
as much as i'm not a fan of Miley Cyrus, I do think she got in right in her song "The Climb." It's great to get to the top but what put you there is the labor that went into the climb. definitely can't wait to see what the view looks like from the top!
true blue
one thing I did not bargain for or really consider when deciding to move to LBK was the weather. sure, i knew the weather here can change in the blink of an eye, knew that it gets cold, knew they have crazy storms that sometimes produce hail...what i didnt count on was that the changes between the two are a bit more drastic than what i'm used to.
these last few days have been odd. like crazy weird occurrences. For starters, the unexpected cold front that blew through. I wasnt expecting that but then today my neighborhood had a poweroutage which didnt just include residential areas but commercial as well. so i thought, since i have no power, i'll take care of what i need to take care of. oh no...i had to drive further than expected because certain stores around me didn't have power! agh!
then yesterday afternoon, I went to starbucks with a friend of mine. our crazy cold front had just blown in so i thought "oh i'll have some hot chocolate." Except I forgot to tell them skim milk hold the cream! ok so not that I make it public knowledge but i havent had WHOLE milk in like 2 years. Yes, that's right...so you an imagine the havoc and pain that little lush drink caused me. i thought i was going to die (yes i'm being dramatic).
then I have a nail in my tire which i was going to have fixed because i have some warranty or other on the dumb tires i updgraded to the last time I changed out my tires. first i dont like the tires because they are much more noisier than the previous brand and these are supposed to be a step up. They are Yokohama tires to be exact. ok so i go to see what exactly I need to do about this tire and ah! wont be ready till tomorrow...forget it. i'm not losing an air so my dad says i should be alright till tomorrow when i can get it fixed. but i got a stern warning "dont be doing 80mph going down the Loop or any other major road."
my response, "aye aye captain" even gave him a military salute which he could not see!
ok so i'm having this completely horrendous, crazy whacked out day...including my ipod going kah-put on me so i have to send it in to be repaired...and my phone going bonkers and taking forever to load and then deciding its going to turn itself off and not turn back on.
then the power outtage, I mentioned above...yeah put a BIG ole damper on my chicken noodle soup progress. as in i was in the middle of the darn thing, when poof! out goes the power. (sigh) i called everyone that needed to know about said chicken noodle soup and we all decided to do our own thing for dinner. so that meant going back out to figure out what i was going to do in terms of dinner and then having to come back and finish the darn soup i was not a super happy camper. But i decied to see my commitment through so i did indeed finish the homemade concoction which now happily sits in my fridge.
so i had technological challenges, power challenges, health/food challenges....over all it was a very challenging day!
not to mention i'd been trying to write this blog for a few days. so i have itunes on shuffle and up comes my favorite song in the whole wide world! "you are my shining star" by the Manattans.
You can watch the video. Just puts me in a super relaxed happy mood! what can I say? ok with that I'm going to bed. tomorrow's blog will have a bit more content, i promise...just that its late and there's too much to tak about now.
these last few days have been odd. like crazy weird occurrences. For starters, the unexpected cold front that blew through. I wasnt expecting that but then today my neighborhood had a poweroutage which didnt just include residential areas but commercial as well. so i thought, since i have no power, i'll take care of what i need to take care of. oh no...i had to drive further than expected because certain stores around me didn't have power! agh!
then yesterday afternoon, I went to starbucks with a friend of mine. our crazy cold front had just blown in so i thought "oh i'll have some hot chocolate." Except I forgot to tell them skim milk hold the cream! ok so not that I make it public knowledge but i havent had WHOLE milk in like 2 years. Yes, that's right...so you an imagine the havoc and pain that little lush drink caused me. i thought i was going to die (yes i'm being dramatic).
then I have a nail in my tire which i was going to have fixed because i have some warranty or other on the dumb tires i updgraded to the last time I changed out my tires. first i dont like the tires because they are much more noisier than the previous brand and these are supposed to be a step up. They are Yokohama tires to be exact. ok so i go to see what exactly I need to do about this tire and ah! wont be ready till tomorrow...forget it. i'm not losing an air so my dad says i should be alright till tomorrow when i can get it fixed. but i got a stern warning "dont be doing 80mph going down the Loop or any other major road."
my response, "aye aye captain" even gave him a military salute which he could not see!
ok so i'm having this completely horrendous, crazy whacked out day...including my ipod going kah-put on me so i have to send it in to be repaired...and my phone going bonkers and taking forever to load and then deciding its going to turn itself off and not turn back on.
then the power outtage, I mentioned above...yeah put a BIG ole damper on my chicken noodle soup progress. as in i was in the middle of the darn thing, when poof! out goes the power. (sigh) i called everyone that needed to know about said chicken noodle soup and we all decided to do our own thing for dinner. so that meant going back out to figure out what i was going to do in terms of dinner and then having to come back and finish the darn soup i was not a super happy camper. But i decied to see my commitment through so i did indeed finish the homemade concoction which now happily sits in my fridge.
so i had technological challenges, power challenges, health/food challenges....over all it was a very challenging day!
not to mention i'd been trying to write this blog for a few days. so i have itunes on shuffle and up comes my favorite song in the whole wide world! "you are my shining star" by the Manattans.
You can watch the video. Just puts me in a super relaxed happy mood! what can I say? ok with that I'm going to bed. tomorrow's blog will have a bit more content, i promise...just that its late and there's too much to tak about now.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
random thoughts from today...
there's so much i'd like to share in today's tid-bit but i just dont have the emotional energies to re-visit some of the latest happenings. the last few weeks have been a little intense. i should not be surprised this is how my life goes! lol. To do the hard thing and go to the hard places: something i have little say about.
Cary's recovery fluctuates. He makes progress and then encounters a set back. My sister's been through the mill and i've been praying for strength. Working on a care package to send them. My parents are also back on the road, headed to Texas - home sweet home. They should arrive sometime tomorrow evening.
I've had to make some major decisions as life has evolved. Decided to go back to full-time employment. I cant believe i'm saying this but i'm excited about the notion. I can only say that right now, its the right thing for my life. I've also let go of some things that I now see as hinderances towards the end goal. Won't go into too much detail and I can only say that its not been an easy process. Even now, I have moments where I think "what in the world?" doesnt make much sense i know...
Whatever this journey brings, I can say i'm ready and with an open mind, heart, and soul to whatever it is that God brings to my life or takes me too. There's still much I dont yet know and still more I'm learning...but i'm content to take it one step, one day at a time. I dont need to know step by step how i'm going to get to the end destination...just need to know i'm getting there.
I also have taken on a new challenge: to run a 5K competitively and by the end of next year a half marathon. I met with my trainer today and she totally rocked and encouraged me, that yes it was totally doable. I managed to get in 2.79 miles today!!!
I think there are two other's who are feelin the same sentiments and working on training! so i've officially started a 5k training program. I decided to post my progress here. so for those of you wanting to get into shape...trust me if i can do it, so can you. and what more all you gotta do is see pictures of my brother to see what determination and hard work can accomplish.
ok so i just realized the time and realized i need to get to sleep if i'm going to funtion tomorrow...
I'm working on posting more consistently so we'll see how that goes. The song listed below is something i've been listening to quite a bit. I can say that i'm definitely grounded in a decion and a resolve and am waiting on God for many things at this point in my life but even in the waiting I'm not supposed to sit passively twiddling my thumbs, no i'm called to action - to better what i've got and sow so that there will be something to reap.
I dont understand God's timing, for all my book smarts its never been something i've ever been good at grasping. But that's ok. I just know He's gonna come through at the perfect moment. I'm just working at making the most of each moment and opportunity, not leaving anything left on the table...so that at the end of the day I know that I did the best I possibly could with that day. alot of good things coming down the road and i'll be sharing them here, so stay posted!
You'll Come
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon You Lord
My rock and Redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon You Lord
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears
You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come
We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon You Lord
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as Your word endures
You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
blessings always
laura
Cary's recovery fluctuates. He makes progress and then encounters a set back. My sister's been through the mill and i've been praying for strength. Working on a care package to send them. My parents are also back on the road, headed to Texas - home sweet home. They should arrive sometime tomorrow evening.
I've had to make some major decisions as life has evolved. Decided to go back to full-time employment. I cant believe i'm saying this but i'm excited about the notion. I can only say that right now, its the right thing for my life. I've also let go of some things that I now see as hinderances towards the end goal. Won't go into too much detail and I can only say that its not been an easy process. Even now, I have moments where I think "what in the world?" doesnt make much sense i know...
Whatever this journey brings, I can say i'm ready and with an open mind, heart, and soul to whatever it is that God brings to my life or takes me too. There's still much I dont yet know and still more I'm learning...but i'm content to take it one step, one day at a time. I dont need to know step by step how i'm going to get to the end destination...just need to know i'm getting there.
I also have taken on a new challenge: to run a 5K competitively and by the end of next year a half marathon. I met with my trainer today and she totally rocked and encouraged me, that yes it was totally doable. I managed to get in 2.79 miles today!!!
I think there are two other's who are feelin the same sentiments and working on training! so i've officially started a 5k training program. I decided to post my progress here. so for those of you wanting to get into shape...trust me if i can do it, so can you. and what more all you gotta do is see pictures of my brother to see what determination and hard work can accomplish.
ok so i just realized the time and realized i need to get to sleep if i'm going to funtion tomorrow...
I'm working on posting more consistently so we'll see how that goes. The song listed below is something i've been listening to quite a bit. I can say that i'm definitely grounded in a decion and a resolve and am waiting on God for many things at this point in my life but even in the waiting I'm not supposed to sit passively twiddling my thumbs, no i'm called to action - to better what i've got and sow so that there will be something to reap.
I dont understand God's timing, for all my book smarts its never been something i've ever been good at grasping. But that's ok. I just know He's gonna come through at the perfect moment. I'm just working at making the most of each moment and opportunity, not leaving anything left on the table...so that at the end of the day I know that I did the best I possibly could with that day. alot of good things coming down the road and i'll be sharing them here, so stay posted!
You'll Come
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon You Lord
My rock and Redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon You Lord
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears
You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come
We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon You Lord
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as Your word endures
You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
blessings always
laura
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
random thoughts from yesterday...
from a note i posted on facebook yesteday:
thought i'd take a minute to get some thoughts out. it's been an incredible month to say the least and its like the drama "can't stop, won't stop" diddy style. that is...
until i gave it a big ole' 'record scratch' stop. yes, dj promote style.
i was thinking to myself, "why am i taking this lying down?" i'd been a bit passive in months past. no idea why: just kinda where i was. life has been mind altering at times but hey it happens and wont be the last time either.
i was evaluating my situation and rather than resign and give up i realized,"hey i'm a fighter and i believe in something bigger than all of this" and that's when it hit me. a friend of mine would often say to me, "you gotta get out of the boat." i was reminded of that. i know exactly what he meant and even now that statement has huge application in my life.
it's easy to throw in the towel and throw your hands up in the air and say, i give up then sit and wallow in your sorrows in a self-thrown pity party. but no one really likes a party for one (and i doubt anyone else will join you in your pity - at least that's been my experience).
so yeah i figured when the horse bucks you off, you can stay scared and refuse to get back on walking the ka'million miles to your destination or you can dust yourself off and get back on. there's something about getting over a fear that's rewarding.
i realized that today. i used to be really fearless that way and as of late have been a bit more conservative but i've realized conservation has not really worked out well for me. so i'm headed back to the land of the fearless. sometimes you just gotta go for it and it could be anything - a dream, facing a skeleton in the closet, overcoming something you dread, attempting something new....
i mean what do i have to lose, really?
so the plan is to get things organized (Cause things are a bit of a mess right now) and start truckin forward. leaving behind those things that are distractions and hinder me from making progress...not gonna cry about them, not gonna whine about them, not gonna contemplate why they are...just gonna move forward - away from them.
in the end, those decisions have led to some much needed peace and a happier place which is such a great relief. getting back to the things i love, not out of obligation but sheer joy to partake in them and to grow from learning.
its nice...really nice.
hopefully, my drama be gone will work: we can only wait and see...but if it doesnt, all i can say is that there will be plenty more challenging moments without a doubt. However, i'm trusting that what i've known to always be true (you reap what you sow) will come to pass. hard work is never, ever in vain...even if it takes a while to manifest itself...it eventually will.
made it to the gym and got in 2.59 miles. completely awesome and invigorating. will be there tomorrow early in the AM to start the morning/day right. also started the next round of classes today. material wise, not so super exciting..but it only means i'm another step close to graduating and another step closer to pursuing another dream. well i cant complain about that at all.
working on the law school scenario...we'll just have to wait to see howthat pans out. i'm trusting...
thought i'd take a minute to get some thoughts out. it's been an incredible month to say the least and its like the drama "can't stop, won't stop" diddy style. that is...
until i gave it a big ole' 'record scratch' stop. yes, dj promote style.
i was thinking to myself, "why am i taking this lying down?" i'd been a bit passive in months past. no idea why: just kinda where i was. life has been mind altering at times but hey it happens and wont be the last time either.
i was evaluating my situation and rather than resign and give up i realized,"hey i'm a fighter and i believe in something bigger than all of this" and that's when it hit me. a friend of mine would often say to me, "you gotta get out of the boat." i was reminded of that. i know exactly what he meant and even now that statement has huge application in my life.
it's easy to throw in the towel and throw your hands up in the air and say, i give up then sit and wallow in your sorrows in a self-thrown pity party. but no one really likes a party for one (and i doubt anyone else will join you in your pity - at least that's been my experience).
so yeah i figured when the horse bucks you off, you can stay scared and refuse to get back on walking the ka'million miles to your destination or you can dust yourself off and get back on. there's something about getting over a fear that's rewarding.
i realized that today. i used to be really fearless that way and as of late have been a bit more conservative but i've realized conservation has not really worked out well for me. so i'm headed back to the land of the fearless. sometimes you just gotta go for it and it could be anything - a dream, facing a skeleton in the closet, overcoming something you dread, attempting something new....
i mean what do i have to lose, really?
so the plan is to get things organized (Cause things are a bit of a mess right now) and start truckin forward. leaving behind those things that are distractions and hinder me from making progress...not gonna cry about them, not gonna whine about them, not gonna contemplate why they are...just gonna move forward - away from them.
in the end, those decisions have led to some much needed peace and a happier place which is such a great relief. getting back to the things i love, not out of obligation but sheer joy to partake in them and to grow from learning.
its nice...really nice.
hopefully, my drama be gone will work: we can only wait and see...but if it doesnt, all i can say is that there will be plenty more challenging moments without a doubt. However, i'm trusting that what i've known to always be true (you reap what you sow) will come to pass. hard work is never, ever in vain...even if it takes a while to manifest itself...it eventually will.
made it to the gym and got in 2.59 miles. completely awesome and invigorating. will be there tomorrow early in the AM to start the morning/day right. also started the next round of classes today. material wise, not so super exciting..but it only means i'm another step close to graduating and another step closer to pursuing another dream. well i cant complain about that at all.
working on the law school scenario...we'll just have to wait to see howthat pans out. i'm trusting...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
j train
We're on our way home from a weekend in Dallas. My bro is @ the helm navigating our way across that beautiful West Texas landscape and me on my palm writing this blog. Somethin about west texas sunsets that make me wanna write.
Had the most interesting weekend and while major deadlines loom on the horizon, the weekend's activity were more needed than I could ever anticipate.
Joined team "Save the Chi-Chis" for Komen which is always an awesome experience. I always walk in celebration of one of my friend's mom. After, we had an awesome brunch @ cafe brazil w/some rockin' folks. That place always reminds me of an old friend, Job - the world traveler and connessiuer of sorts. ok so totally butchered the spelling there.
I managed to catch a much needed nap before getting dressed for church @ NDFC on sat nite. ok can I say I miss my "gente"? cause I totally do...so I felt right at home.
after we were joined by a friend for a quick bite and then off to see "where the wild things are." loved it!!! not a kids movie but more for adults about being a kid. have more to share about that but will wait to write about it. only can say i've had to make a lot of adult decisions lately and none of them have been very forth coming in ease. sometime u have to let something go to embrace something else. sometimes it's easier to do and other times it's the hardest thing to do. I just know that I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other regardless of who's willing or not willing to accompany me on the journey. sometime u gotta be willing to go it alone.
today my bro and I got to see my prima who's got a crazy work schedule so we don't always get to see her. it's always good to spend time w/family and given this last month I've realized just how important they r to me.
Life is definitely in a new season and nothing is familar. I feel like i'm re-emerging from that very driven and risk-taking self again. I sometimes withdraw and sit quietly on the side lines. something like a "know which battles to pick" thing.
Had the most interesting weekend and while major deadlines loom on the horizon, the weekend's activity were more needed than I could ever anticipate.
Joined team "Save the Chi-Chis" for Komen which is always an awesome experience. I always walk in celebration of one of my friend's mom. After, we had an awesome brunch @ cafe brazil w/some rockin' folks. That place always reminds me of an old friend, Job - the world traveler and connessiuer of sorts. ok so totally butchered the spelling there.
I managed to catch a much needed nap before getting dressed for church @ NDFC on sat nite. ok can I say I miss my "gente"? cause I totally do...so I felt right at home.
after we were joined by a friend for a quick bite and then off to see "where the wild things are." loved it!!! not a kids movie but more for adults about being a kid. have more to share about that but will wait to write about it. only can say i've had to make a lot of adult decisions lately and none of them have been very forth coming in ease. sometime u have to let something go to embrace something else. sometimes it's easier to do and other times it's the hardest thing to do. I just know that I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other regardless of who's willing or not willing to accompany me on the journey. sometime u gotta be willing to go it alone.
today my bro and I got to see my prima who's got a crazy work schedule so we don't always get to see her. it's always good to spend time w/family and given this last month I've realized just how important they r to me.
Life is definitely in a new season and nothing is familar. I feel like i'm re-emerging from that very driven and risk-taking self again. I sometimes withdraw and sit quietly on the side lines. something like a "know which battles to pick" thing.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
exhaustion
got back from angelo earlier this evening. physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. it was good to go home. something comforting about being there though it was entirely too quiet. i got some quality time with senorita poochie and was sad to leave her. she'll definitely be joining me at the start of the new year.
got alot on my plate right now...some stuff that just needs to be dealt with and other stuff...uhhhh...well not talk about it.
my main concern is my sister and the situation with my bro-in-law. my oldest nephew's been having a had time. there's been alot of shifts and changes that i dont even know how to describe. i've not really processed any of it because i've felt so backlogged with my family and school. doing my best to stay focused on those two things.
projects, presentations, cases, papers, and tests...wrapping up two accelerated courses and startin two more. should be interesting. i cant even explain what the accelerated tests take out of me. if anything, i'm learning a new approach to handling the school work and yes i'm back in the gym which should help tremendously.
so the purple hair is no more. my long-time hair stylist took care of that earlier today. so glad and i feel like i've returned from the land of halloween hair. that's what my bro calls it...lol. long story.
i have more to share especially after the crazy weekend. had alot of fun going to the corn maize a second time and the the TTU game which by the way my team lit it up against KSU. so yeah..headed to dallas for Komen this weekend. excited to see friends and participate in something for a good cause...
got class early in the AM and getting my marketing test back (AGH!). Jesus help me.
just have to say that i've been overwhelme by the love and support given to my sis, Cary, and family! God has been so very good to us and i'm reminded every day that no matter what the situation may look like or what man may say, God the Father has the FINAL say...it is my saving grace and I love Him or it!
got alot on my plate right now...some stuff that just needs to be dealt with and other stuff...uhhhh...well not talk about it.
my main concern is my sister and the situation with my bro-in-law. my oldest nephew's been having a had time. there's been alot of shifts and changes that i dont even know how to describe. i've not really processed any of it because i've felt so backlogged with my family and school. doing my best to stay focused on those two things.
projects, presentations, cases, papers, and tests...wrapping up two accelerated courses and startin two more. should be interesting. i cant even explain what the accelerated tests take out of me. if anything, i'm learning a new approach to handling the school work and yes i'm back in the gym which should help tremendously.
so the purple hair is no more. my long-time hair stylist took care of that earlier today. so glad and i feel like i've returned from the land of halloween hair. that's what my bro calls it...lol. long story.
i have more to share especially after the crazy weekend. had alot of fun going to the corn maize a second time and the the TTU game which by the way my team lit it up against KSU. so yeah..headed to dallas for Komen this weekend. excited to see friends and participate in something for a good cause...
got class early in the AM and getting my marketing test back (AGH!). Jesus help me.
just have to say that i've been overwhelme by the love and support given to my sis, Cary, and family! God has been so very good to us and i'm reminded every day that no matter what the situation may look like or what man may say, God the Father has the FINAL say...it is my saving grace and I love Him or it!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
with a heart that feels the same
the week is going to end better than it started.
so much to be grateful for...yet so many things going on at once. i'm working hard to keep "perspective and focus" exactly where it should be: viewing everything else as a distraction. there are only few things i can be certain of and i try to remind myself of that everyday...the rest is walking in faith and the unseen, i can only trust.
this week has been unusually hard. i've hard tough weeks but it seems they keep escalating almost as if to build endurance and perseverance. is it ironic? i think not.
i started back to the gym this week. had been holding off due to the respiratory issues and infections. not quite back to par but i've taken precautionary and preemptive measures which will lead me down a road to recovery and healing. at the very least, solid runs help me to relieve stress and Jesus knows i've been feeling plenty of that.
closing in on the end of the first 8 weeks of school which means wrapping up two classes with major projects in each. that in itself has been consuming but then toss in everything else going on with the family and at the end of the day i'm spent, emotionally, physically, mentally...you name it. again i go back to endurance and perseverance. running the race...you need endurance and perseverance to get through those moments when you want to throw in the towel, when you wanna give up.
i had a conversation with the Father about things that arent good for us. Scripture says that "all things are permissible, not all things are beneficial." as some of you know, i had a little incident with a pop tart in which i had almost a third degree burn. yes it was that bad.
so i developed this ugly blister. the Father said...you see there are some things in this world that will "burn" you. i thought about that. after a few days when my blister started to heal, i realized that after the blister had formed while it wasnt painful i wasnt able to feel anything in that area. i had toasted some waffles and when i grabbed them to put on the plate, i noticed that i could really feel anything in terms of the heat and around the blister, my thumb was still sensitive to the heat. i thought that makes sense that we can become de-sensitized to things that could be harmful to us and because of that de-sensitized state - we cant tell when we're being hurt further by something.
i failed to open the blister early enough to let it drain (dont want to be gory here) and when i finally did, the wound was able to close and heal but its taking it much longer to heal and looks completely awful because i "ignored" dealing with the wound in hopes it would heal itself when what it needed was to be excised. if i had just dealt with the wound early on it would have healed properly and probably would have little to no scarring.
because i failed to respond quickly, the wound is now healing over itself...not a pretty sight. i'll eventually gain feeling back in that part of my thumb though its going to take some time and the healing process is now extended. made me realize that its better to deal with wounds when they are fresh, allow God to excise what needs to be and bandage the wound for faster healing, the risk of infection and the loss from a possible infection is too great. Not only that but when we allow wounds to fester, they take more of our time, energy, efforts, and focus. i'm sure the enemy, the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy, has figured this out and because he's familar with our nature knows we'll be reluctant to deal with the wound. it makes us ineffective!
i was thankful to see the lesson in something as trivial as a poptart burn...i cant help laugh about that even now. its good to laugh especially when things don't seem or feel like they're going well. i can say that regardless how difficult things may appear to be, i'm at peace. taking each moment one at a time and working as hard as i can at the task assigned to me. continue to pray for my family - there are occurrences i'm not at liberty to discuss and the only thing i can say is that God is able to do something miraculous in these situtions.
continuing to focus on "how he loves us," reading more, and spending more time with the Father. as you do, its easier and easier to hear His voice and recognize that Yes, He's very much there with you ALWAYS.
so much to be grateful for...yet so many things going on at once. i'm working hard to keep "perspective and focus" exactly where it should be: viewing everything else as a distraction. there are only few things i can be certain of and i try to remind myself of that everyday...the rest is walking in faith and the unseen, i can only trust.
this week has been unusually hard. i've hard tough weeks but it seems they keep escalating almost as if to build endurance and perseverance. is it ironic? i think not.
i started back to the gym this week. had been holding off due to the respiratory issues and infections. not quite back to par but i've taken precautionary and preemptive measures which will lead me down a road to recovery and healing. at the very least, solid runs help me to relieve stress and Jesus knows i've been feeling plenty of that.
closing in on the end of the first 8 weeks of school which means wrapping up two classes with major projects in each. that in itself has been consuming but then toss in everything else going on with the family and at the end of the day i'm spent, emotionally, physically, mentally...you name it. again i go back to endurance and perseverance. running the race...you need endurance and perseverance to get through those moments when you want to throw in the towel, when you wanna give up.
i had a conversation with the Father about things that arent good for us. Scripture says that "all things are permissible, not all things are beneficial." as some of you know, i had a little incident with a pop tart in which i had almost a third degree burn. yes it was that bad.
so i developed this ugly blister. the Father said...you see there are some things in this world that will "burn" you. i thought about that. after a few days when my blister started to heal, i realized that after the blister had formed while it wasnt painful i wasnt able to feel anything in that area. i had toasted some waffles and when i grabbed them to put on the plate, i noticed that i could really feel anything in terms of the heat and around the blister, my thumb was still sensitive to the heat. i thought that makes sense that we can become de-sensitized to things that could be harmful to us and because of that de-sensitized state - we cant tell when we're being hurt further by something.
i failed to open the blister early enough to let it drain (dont want to be gory here) and when i finally did, the wound was able to close and heal but its taking it much longer to heal and looks completely awful because i "ignored" dealing with the wound in hopes it would heal itself when what it needed was to be excised. if i had just dealt with the wound early on it would have healed properly and probably would have little to no scarring.
because i failed to respond quickly, the wound is now healing over itself...not a pretty sight. i'll eventually gain feeling back in that part of my thumb though its going to take some time and the healing process is now extended. made me realize that its better to deal with wounds when they are fresh, allow God to excise what needs to be and bandage the wound for faster healing, the risk of infection and the loss from a possible infection is too great. Not only that but when we allow wounds to fester, they take more of our time, energy, efforts, and focus. i'm sure the enemy, the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy, has figured this out and because he's familar with our nature knows we'll be reluctant to deal with the wound. it makes us ineffective!
i was thankful to see the lesson in something as trivial as a poptart burn...i cant help laugh about that even now. its good to laugh especially when things don't seem or feel like they're going well. i can say that regardless how difficult things may appear to be, i'm at peace. taking each moment one at a time and working as hard as i can at the task assigned to me. continue to pray for my family - there are occurrences i'm not at liberty to discuss and the only thing i can say is that God is able to do something miraculous in these situtions.
continuing to focus on "how he loves us," reading more, and spending more time with the Father. as you do, its easier and easier to hear His voice and recognize that Yes, He's very much there with you ALWAYS.
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