I was supposed to arrive until sometime mid-week, next week but things have gotten a bit crazy and I decided I needed to spend time with my family. I know the time is coming where I'll be back in the "real work" world so three weeks home will be a rare if obsolete occurrence.
Things are still a bit dicey where my bro-in-law is concerned regarding his health. So I figured it would help to have an extra set of hands around to run errands, watch the boys, help with whatever, and just be around. Hence, the trip home.
Of course, Senorita Poochies is just elated. She hasn't left my side since my arrival. She's a happy cat.
As for the holiday season while most have been busy shopping and buying gifts, I'd been busy packing, finishing school projects, filling out fellowship applications, and going to interviews. It's been a bit exhausting and in the midst of all that, I realized that I'll be graduating next semester.
On facebook, I had posted this quote: "Live simply, Laugh often, Love deeply." To which someone else replied, "Love deeply, but do not get in the deep end." Reminded me of a sermon I heard and an interesting conversation that followed with one of my closest friends. I believe it was Louie Giglio talking about not staying in the "Kiddie pool" but diving into the deep.
There's a risk involved. It certainly is not for the faint of heart and there's the possiblity that some under current could sweep you under. The "kiddie pool" is safe and secure but it is limiting as well.
In the same token, there's a beauty involved in the experience something you could never achieve in the "kiddie pool."
reminds me of certain types of coy that only grow as big as their environment will allow. So the larger the environment, the larger the fish can grow.
I believe it is the same with us...that if we remain in the "kiddie pool."
I go back to the conversation of diving into the deep I had with my best friend. We both felt the experience of diving into the deep was well worth the risk.
Love deeply.
I've thought alot about that phrase. Thought about it from the standpoint of humanity and from the standpoint of a Christian. The last few weeks have brought many diverse conversations across my path. Conversations about faith and about those who profess faith. It reminded me of a song and a quote. It's an issue that's been prevalent in my life and in conversations in recent weeks.
"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle." Brennan Manning
I can't say that I'm absolved from this conversation. I remember making a comment about something I witnessed someone say/do and I was reminded "he's still a man" and not "infallable." It made me think...made me consider the standards to which I and so many I know hold others to. Yes, I certainly believe there should be accountability but what happens when someone feels they're responsbile for holding you accountable but they've had no real presence in your life in over two years...and then there's the issue of humility.
I say this because I've witnessed people I care about waivering between belief and non-belief, to be treated and judged in a manner that contradicts "love your neighbor as yourself." I've seen few attempt to build a relationship and develop understanding of someone who's beliefs may differ from their own. For that reason, I've maintained an arm's length distance and during this time, that i've truly come to see who cares for me and for what reasons.
Those that truly love me have made the effort to find out the happenings of my life. They have invested time and without judgement have listened and offered understanding.
I now know what Voddie Baucham meant by the fact that if we share faith, we share because we want the people we love to share in our joy, love, comfort, and understanding....not because we see people as projects and numbers marked on the belt of "those we've won for Christ."
This is not to say that all I've witnessed have acted in this manner...no..i go back to humilty. I'm reminded of Phillipians 2...and yes, I have seen this lived out in action and in love by some amazing people. People not afraid to admit their limitations and to be honest about where they fail. People who have shared in earnest and in hopes of growing together.
I can say that these honest and real relationships have been a guiding light in cloudy moments and moments when I felt my hope was wanning. Not in who I believe God to be or what I believe He is capable of doing, or in who He is in my life....no...my doubt has rested in the bride of Christ, His church.
Despite that, I've seen glimmering lights of hope of people struggling to understand, struggling to grow...but pressing forward attempting to win the race that is set before them. To those who continue to carry on without judgement but in love, I commend you...and thank you.
Thank you because you've helped me to understand that I dont have to "wear" a Jesus badge and shove my beliefs down people's throats...and helped me to understand that it comes back to love...and of this....
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
To the loves in my life but to specifically one, thank you for your patients, thank you for keeping no record of wrong, thank you for protecting, for trusting, for hoping and for preserving....thank you for loving me in truth...and in understanding...and in grace. I'm eternally grateful and hope that in your honor I do the same for others.
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