It’s much too late but this song is on my mind amongst other things. A lot of realizations and shifting of understandings: it’s miraculous in many ways. I’ve been thinking and praying for one situation in particular. You know that I’m not one to divulge too much in terms of certain subjects. So I approach this one in an abstract aspect but also in an introspective one.
In recent weeks, I’ve seen some people that I care about deeply go through some really difficult situations regarding relationships. Some married, some single…nevertheless when it involves matters of the heart, answers and sometimes what happens in those relationships is not easy to understand or swallow.
Relationships present a new batch of challenges apart from dealing with your own. It’s not just you, you gotta contend with though often times dealing with ourselves is painful and difficult enough. No, throw- in another person who’s thoughts, beliefs, understandings, and perspectives might be sooo very different from your own.
You’re not only in a new situation but now you’re learning about this new person in your life. Their likes, dislikes, pet peeves, where they come from, what they believe, their hopes, their dreams, their greatest failures, and the their greatest achievements. It’s a bit intensive at times but its those small quiet moments when you just are and can just be with that person that pull you through the rough and tumble.
Maybe it’s the anticipation of their phone call or its not till you hear their voice that the excitement bubbles and the butterflies flutter. Whatever it is that excites you about that person, its unique to you and its unique to them. So why is it that some of those relationships work, while others don’t?
Is it that one person wanted it more than the other or maybe that it just wasn’t meant to be (if you believe in fate)? Personally, I believe in destiny and thinkg we sometimes fail to see what we need to see. We’re all looking for love and as Kenny put it, some of us “in all the wrong places.” However, some of us are looking in the right place and still we’ve not yet found “what we’re looking for.”
What is it exactly that we’re looking for?
The love that looks beyond our faults and fights to survive, the kind of love that’s kind and patient graced with understanding and mercy so that despite the obstacles you are facing, it perseveres. Looking at marriages and the world today, its hard to believe that kind of loves still exists.
Call me the hopeless romantic but I believe that it does.
4Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
It’s so easy to hope and pray for this kind of love but all too often we forget that we get what we give (the principle of reaping what you sow). Do we love in the way we desire to be loved? Do we love this deeply?
Oh but what about the risks you may ask? Yes there are risks. Life, in itself, may be a risk to some. I go back to diving into the deep. The choices are to live life safe and secure never to be hurt -sheltered by our own protective barriers or to trust God to do all of that for us allowing us to leap from the board and dive into the deep dark waters giving all that we can and finding beauty in where we are and what we see.
I was driving out on the highway in West Texas around sunset.
I don’t know if you’ve ever watched or seen a West Texas sunset but it has got to be one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. Definitely one of the more profound ones.
The colors are just amazing and with the barren landscape you can see for miles and miles. The array of colors is incredible and could never be accurately captured by a photor or paiting. Its those sunsets that make me think of my creator.
You may believe or not believe but to me: this is His way of romancing me - romancing us - and showing me that He loves me - showing us that He loves us. I am stirred by moments like those and by nature's beauty in a way that leaves me in bewilderment, awe, and at peace. Its as if He says "its going to be ok" through a sunset or in nature's beauty that quiets my heart and allows me to take a deep breath and let go of what plagues me. Even when a storm brews (literally and figuratively), I know that I’m safe in His hands and that I can trust Him fully in ALL things.
I may not understand fully the things of this life such as why or when life will bring its greatest gifts or its darkest moments. I just know that through it all I’m never alone, never left to face what I cannot bear alone. It’s because of that knowledge that I can dive into the deep and succumb to the waters embraced and enveloped in a cleansing of the heart, soul, and mind. Renewed and embraced in love, I can face those moments in life that make my heart erupt or makes it want to burst. It is what quiets my soul and soothes my heart: letting me know that peace has arrived.
However things may go in this life: what I believe in most is that He will “never give up on me” and because of that “I shall believe.”
"I Shall Believe"
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you.
And you hold the key
Never again would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
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