This room may be dark

i'm having writers block...

for the girl that usually has something to say, this is a bit rare. but there it is, staring me right in the face. i even have my usual inspirational music playing and not inpsirational as in "christian"...no inspirational as in inspires me to write and to be honest. hard to explain so please dont ask me too.

today was a hard day.

it started out like most and i knew the planned events for the day. apt, interview, funeral service.

i just didnt anticipate everything else that would accompany it. out of respect for the family morning, i'm not going to talk about the funeral service. just to say i witnessed a family mourning gracefully and it was both beautiful and painful to behold.

maybe the reason i cant write this blog is because there's so much going on that my thoughts feel a bit convoluted. life is a bit all over the page for the moment.

supposed to head to san antonio on thurs and will be there through sat morning..and then the trip to Houston/Galveston. details changed on account of family making some last minute changes... well not so much last minute as letting me know last minute. its ok...my word for the day is FLEXIBILITY

that's how i've lived most of the summer so its gonna be ok. just excited to see old friends!

so we have both good and not so good going on.

my sis's husband is getting a j-tube, aka the feeding tube. whether or not this puts him on a transplant list i've yet to find out. plan on talking to my sis tomorrow or at least finding out through my mom. i try not to call just cause i know my mom wants to talk to her and she has limited time with the kids and her situation. so i try to give my mom as much time to talk with her as possible. but i think and pray for them constantly.

i'm not dwelling on any one thing. life is life and with it a time for every season.

today was not so much about reflection and acknowledgement but about realization, appreciation, and solidarity in living in the moment.

appreciation apart from words.

this is all i have for today.