Residuals

i just got back a while ago from visiting with someone's who's words weigh heavily in my life. i've been in this sort of isolated funk since returning from my travels abroad. kinda hard to explain and not exactly something i want to put out for the whole world to read about. perhaps someday, but just not today.

anyhow...this funk hasnt necessarily been a bad thing and i'm sure its related to all the other things happening in my life. i posted on facebook that being an adult is overrated. it was completely related to all of that. just having to do the things that adults have to do.

i realized that there were alot of unncessary complications in my life.

(ok so a side note, i'm watching "Cake Boss" and they were showing some of the traditional Italian pasteries - turns out i had quite a few in Italy! YUMMY!)

ok so the unncessary complications. i decided to make less complicated. however, in making things less complicated - things got more complicated than i bargained for but just temporarily. doesnt make sense but doesnt really matter.

needless to say, i'm moving towards a less complicated life (if that's even possible). i'm still trying to sort through my schedule and just exactly where i'm supposed to be and when. one of the things i've not yet gotten a handle on but its ok because that's what this part of the summer is supposed to be about. the last sort of care-freeness before delving into graduate work. i've been afforded a rare luxury and i'm enjoying every moment of it!

there have been alot of different things going on. first the whole week long trip up to chicago which was alot of fun. my mom, bro, and i getting some time with my sis. trying to get back and figure out a routine which i've not been successful at. i figured the only way i'd get back into any kind of routine is to get up early and get to KOA (back to running). hadnt been in a routine like that for some while. at the very least, i feel like i'd be able to clear my head. sorta been swirling with all sorts of things.

did i mention, i forgot i have to make a grad school deposit? yeah just remembered today when i was looking at my orientation papers! agh! i'll get those funds back, but watching them go still hurts just the same.

i have mixed feelings about moving. on one hand, i'm excited cause i'll be closer to my bro and hello its TTU. i mean...that intself...makes me happy. but at the same time, i'm sorta sad to leave. change is inevitable, i realize that and probably more so now after being gone a month.

lots of things changed while i was gone. i didnt expect life to stand still but it was a bit jarring coming back and trying to get a handle of everything that was going on. i guess in a while i expected to come back and find things the way i left them. completely impossible but i just didnt think much about it.

this is how life goes.

sure change happens, but i feel like a major shift within myself has occurred. not necessarily bad or good but just a completely different perspective and view. i didnt expect it and was a bit jolted when i discovered it was there. i mean, how can you travel half way around the world...be in a situation with 20 something almost strangers (i knew a few people going on the trip) and experience a completely different culture and then not come back changed in some way? its impossible....

i've been working on pics and working on a post of things i saw on my journey and travels. have a few more trips on the books and i think i wrote about them previously. there are some friends i've not seen in a while and i'd like to get some time to visit with them. always a good thing!

also trying to get things ready for the move! ish...i keep trying to procrastinate but i refuse to allow myself any sort of self-sabotag-ish moves...plus i'd rather be ready to go then struggling to get things done!

my visit to my sister's was a bit unusual only because i didnt get alot of time with my sister. however, i did get to visit with my nephews whom i love so much! oh they're adorable and I realized that those boys hold the strings to my heart. seriously...

ok so on a serious note...my sister's husband who's been sick was hospitalized earlier this week. this has been an on-going thing. i worry for my sister because i know its a bit taxing on her. any kind of illness is taxing and i ask for prayers for her, her husband, and her two little ones. there's a possibility i may be driving back with my mother sometime in the next week, so we will see.

just alot of things up in the air at this point.

oh yeah. i also havent mentioned that i'm taking 6 hours for the second summer session. technically, i'm supposed to be done as in complete, finished, over, and done with....yeah except for my "oh so brilliant" school staffers who didnt substitute my hours for my international studies courses correctly! so i was already registered for one class the second summer session even though i didnt really need it. has to do with me needing to be at the very least in "part-time" status. uhm...yeah...long story short...i have 6 hours for the second session...not so worried about the classes because i've had one of the professors before. but finally, finally...after these grades post (184 hrs), i'll be done! and can eagerly await for my diploma in the mail! LOL

only me...only me...