popstars and politics

I'm so not a fan of Taylor Swift's live voice - though recently I heard her and was actually impressed. Either way, she is a brilliant song writer even if she writes about the same things over and over.

But I do like this song...so it's part of tonight's post.

I watched both the RNC and the DNC because like many - I'm an undecided voter. Well I was an undecided voter. I think I've made my choice but rather not say who I'm casting my ballot for. Just going to say - get out and vote this fall!

Cause if you gripe about where we are as a nation but didnt vote, I could very well call you out on it.

so major traveling on the books...i'll be home approximately 16 days this month. unbelievable. trips include cali, dfw, galveston, austin, and angelo. lord help me! seriously gonna be living outta' a suitcase!

so I recorded the MTV Video Music Awards...not impressed. btw - did Alicia Keys bust her pants? randomnocity!

also, decided to blog about the upcoming political season but will do that when I've had some time to reflect on both the RNC and DNC conventions - yes I watched both...

I have some evolving thoughts about the exchange of rhetoric between the two parties. One thing I've come to realize is that I'm much more liberal than I'd ever given myself credit for but it shouldnt come as a surprise. I've never really been one to really play it safe or be conservative. I'm just not geared that way.

If anything as I've aged, I've gotten better at tempering that progressiveness with insight and that's only something I've learned by the grace of God and from my mentors. I'm so appreciative of both the personal and professional mentors placed in my life and in my path. I learn from them every day.

The goal is to become a better person each day and there are some days where I fail miserably at it. Not because of ability but because of willingness. Those of you who know me, know that I can dig my heels in the sand and be as stubborn as a burro...I don't deny it. It's sometimes a strength, sometimes a weakness. So I try to take a few steps back and evaluate what's going on and whether or not I need to give.

You can ask Ricardo about that - he's had plenty of experience with it. Lucky for me, he's a patient and secure man.

alright - gotta finish packing. grrrr..not my favorite thing to do!

only you...

No official announcements for now but just to say that life is moving along nicely! I'm hoping things will be different by Christmas. We're slowly getting there and things look promising.

Just enjoying what time I have left. Football season kicks off this weekend. The parentals will be here and should be lots of fun! You know how I feel about TTU football and of course being season ticketholders makes it a family affair!

Have a fundraising event mid-October so much of my free-time has been consumed with marketing/publicity activities. I'm excited for the event but it's definitely alot of hardwork. Glad to be working with an active team that makes getting task accomplished so much easier!

Have more travel with a trip to California and then travel around the state. BFF gets married at the end of Sept so lots to do before then including a bachelorette weekend! whooo hooo!

so much to do so little time! trying to work running back into the schedule. have a feeling it will help with the generalized stress, focus, and asthma. Gotta love work health screens to put things into perspective. I'm working on a post about that. Just thinking through what I want to share about that. Needless to say, I was stoked coming back from Italy after dropping over 20 lbs. Walking over 6 miles a day will do that to you.

Not happy about the grad school weight I've put on. My problem is carbs and sweets. I cant say no to bread, tortillas, or pastery to save me life. My crazy schedule doesnt help either. Sleep - shhhhheeezzzz. It's all over the map. So I'm working on getting myself back into a schedule and watching what I eat. Not easy is all I'm going to say. Oh and toss in travel in there.

Needless to say, I've committed myself to doing a half-marathon in December. I'm beginning to ask myself "what was I thinking?" But I'm one of those - works best under pressure. Silly I know. So I'm putting imaginary pressure on myself! And I'm thinking of investing in insanity. I have a couple of friends who swear by it.

Alright - its time for mimis! I know I've already posted this one before but it's worth a second post...yes, i'm ghetto like that along with my unncessary elipses. I'm addicted to them like my backspace button! (Those of you who know me well know what I'm talkin' 'bout!) PLAYA' LAKES BABY!

Where it all began...

Tonight I thought I'd provide you with some insight as to why I began this blog and where the title of it came from. If you've already played the video then you know that it comes from Joy William's "Say Goodbye" song lyrics.

So where to begin with this one...

There'd been a period in my life where I'd been through some really traumatic events. Things said, things done that completely blew my mind. How and why I didn't completely walk out on faith perplexes me to this day. I think it's largely in part that I've always separated the things people of faith do from the originator of faith. If anything, it's been the originator of faith (or at least what I consider to be) that has seen me through those really tough times.

I read through that last paragraph and it seems to be down-played but trust me...it was probably one of the hardest times of my life and one of the toughest experiences to walk through. It was a major "avalanche" of activities that really caused me to start looking more inwardly and with that I withdrew. Withdrew in the most severe way and really kept people at an arms length. It would take close to five years before I begin opening the shutters to even let people see in. It's strange to me but I've heard my friends talk about how I have this uncanny way of withdrawing and you can see it happening. You can feel the distance in a palpable way - I've never been one to hide very easily my general sense of being. I mean I either want you around or I don't and I wont pretend to the contrary. It's not pretty I know but it's a result of life experiences and I have to work at it every day and probably will for the rest of my life. Rather I should say - God's worked through that issue with me.

He's brought about the right people at the right time that have helped to draw me into what I would say is the "light." That's really where my blogging emerged from.

It was an honest effort to be transparent and to vocalize my thoughts and feelings. I'd not been really good at that for most of my life. Mainly because there'd always been the expectation to "hold it together" to "lead" to "be the example." Being the oldest of three didn't help that cause nor did my assertive personality.

I've sort of always been launched into leadership roles and have always been involved in organizational leadership in one way or another - through non-profits I've worked with or have been asked to assist - both service oriented but mainly faith-based.

I think I've written before that it was like a pendulum...I had swung so far over to the right that my natural disposition when the dust had settled was to swing in the other direction. That has been where I've resided for the last several years of my life and why I almost completely disappeared from leadership and anything related to a leadership role.

Until Italy/Greece and Texas Tech...and of course with time - because it does indeed heal all wounds.

Looking back - I dont know that I would've or could've done things differently just that I learned a very clear, sharp, and painful lesson that we have the innate ability to wound people not just by our words, but by our actions, our attitudes, and our assumptions.

I was lucky that I had a great and so very understanding support system behind me as I walked through that dark time in my life. I don't think they ever understood what I dealt with our how deeply wounded I really was. Yes - it stemmed from one specific event and one specific person that grew and snowballed and involved more people then ever needed to be necessary. But the reality is that even before that wound was inflicted there was a deeper one that had been inflicted and I'd chosen to forget it. To bury it deep in the abyss of recollection so that I didn't have to remember and didn't have to deal with it.

However there was something that I didn't know, much like an untreated wound that is left to fester, that wound would affect my perception and responses.

When I left San Antonio - my pastor at the time said - I feel like you're running from something - I see you running from something. I think he thought I was running from something in the immediate but what he didn't know was that I had come to San Antonio in an attempt to run away from something.

And when I returned home, that's when the real journey began. It was a journey that would ultimately begin the healing process. There's no need to go into the details of the when and what I certainly won't publicly for so many reasons but just to say when I feel led to share - there's almost certainly a reason to do so.

God has been ever so faithful and in those moments when I didn't understand the journey or the purpose - I trusted. I still do.

I've learned so much since then...learning that's it's ok to keep somethings private and sacred and okay to share others. That we're all on a journey and whatever lessons i've learned from my past - the greatest is that I never wish to inflict on others the kind of pain that was inflicted upon me.

I don't think those individuals would or could ever understand the depths of it and that's not really what's important anyhow. Truly - it has guided and shaped my understanding of forgiveness what it is and what it should truly look life and I think if ever there was grace and mercy in my life extended, its been only by God's grace and because I'm reminded of those painful moments when seemingly none was extended to me.

Lord knows that I lack mercy and it always falls the lowest in scoring my spiritual gifts! Lol... My natural disposition is almost always retribution for those who harm me or my family. Ask Angie my bff, shes always wanted to make me shirt that says I'll kill you. And Ricardo talks about my laser eyes! So i have to work hard at focusing on the principle you reap what you sow!

Doesn't mean that I'm good at it, but it means that I make every effort to try.

I wouldn't and couldn't go back to try and make those relationships right. There was damage inflicted that makes them irreparable. I know, I know - God can make all things new and you're completely right. He can...but the truth of the matter is that while God can do those things-in my human frailty - I could never really ever forget and that would only lead to a lack of trust. What would relationships be without trust? Trust is something I have a hard time with and it's why i've never made any effort to go back to them. They've evolved to what they are and while it often saddens me - I'm not about living in the past.

Instead, I choose to focus on the now and trust my future to someone else.

This really is where Ricardo has played the greatest role in my life - relationship building. Sure he has quirks that drive me nuts as I do he but he's also about having healthy relationships. Never have I learned more about what that should look and feel like as I have from him. We're both passionate people and he's my perfect compliment. He calms me in a way that few can and he helps me to see the logic of my position and responses. So very un-Laura-like...lol. Truly - it is as iron sharpens iron.

He came along at the very right time when I was ready and willing to share parts of my life that I'd long kept hidden. Despite all of that - he loves the total package. Not parts, not pieces - he doesn't try to change things about me but embraces me as a whole. It's rare. Those in my inner circle know first hand how challenging I can be. Oh do they know...but the point there is that they know me.

Yes - i try to protect those in my life from my writings but sometimes they are caught in the line of fire and in a way that is sometimes unfair - for that I do apologize.

My writings have been an effort to share my thoughts, lessons learned, approaches to life as much as you possibly could through writing. They are the honest and raw thoughts in the moment of whatever is happening in my life.

I was told that in order to know where you are going, you have to know where you've been. These writings are an effort to "know where I've been." Sometimes they're reflective and sometimes they're not.

My prayer is that if in someway it provides some insight to something in your life then that's the icing on the cake..and even if its just encouragement or to say hey - this is where i've been and this is how i've made it through - not by my grace but by God's then even better.

In essence blogging was my beginning, it was my Genesis.

It only seems fitting that I would start this blog with Joy Williams "Say Goodbye" because in so many ways as I embarked on the new journey - I did say goodbye - I had to.

And just as Joy William's career evolved into something that's honest and sometimes raw such as "Poison and Wine" which so eloquently addresses the tensions in relationships...I hope that my life has evolved in that way as well. Raw isn't always pretty and it doesn't always feel great..but its in that state that we are the most malleable.

I'm forever grateful for those friends and family in my life who have loved me unconditionally and even when they didn't understand stood in the gap and were often the reason why I was able to move on to something so much better and that far exceeded anything that I ever knew could be. I will always be grateful.

They've taught me that we cant go about life carte blanche - that we should be accountable for our actions and words. By living their own lives, I've seen the greatest examples of love, grace, and mercy and know for that reason, they crossed my path.

It's ok to be where you are and to feel what you feel. Just know that emotions are fleeting and that in time they do change. In the end, treat others as you wish to be treated - I now understand clearly why this philosophy is the Golden Rule.

The One, The Only

Rarely, have I ever given anyone a glimpse as close into my relationship with Ricardo as I'm about to now. There are some areas in my life that I keep pretty private for a number of reasons. If you know me well, then you know the reasons why - no explanation needed. As far as Ricardo goes, there are some things that I think should remain between us (and they will) and others that I feel are worthy of sharing.

So I think I've told the story of how we met. I'll give you the abbreviated version. We met while we were both in college, he at Howard Payne - me at Angelo State (the first time around). We endured a brief friendship and eventually went our separate ways.

Some 13 years later right before I left for study abroad, we became friends on, of all places, facebook. You could say we reconnected but it wasnt until I returned that we chatted online one evening. The chats were somewhat sporadic but we eventually got together for coffee a few weeks later while I was on my "tour" of Texas.

So coffee which was only supposed to be a short visit, turned into a couple of hours. A week later, we had a "bad" date in San Antonio and then I met someone else. I'm not going to go into too much detail here because I dont think he deserves it and this post is about Ricardo. Needless to say, this person said to me...funny that most girls I date usually end up marrying the next guy they date. Now, I know why...I dont have words of flattery for this person and from what I learned about him from his own actions and words seems to "act" the part of a Christian though I didn't really see that lived out. Instead, I saw alot of selfish, self-serving, self-interested type behaviors...and this person was "supposed" to be textbook perfect. HA! Lucky for me, I was able to see through alot of the BS I was fed by this individual.

Everything about Ricardo seemed that he would be the wrong choice for me. Or at least that was the concern at the time...but as I got to know him better and learn more about who he is - I discovered he never puts up a front or airs. He is who He is at all times - good and bad...didnt try to hide anything...he was honest and while sometimes that didnt feel so nice, he was also genuine. so we continued a friendship while I endured my first semester at Tech.

It took a family situation over Thanksgiving that made me realize what he had become to me. I remember it like yesterday and remember thinking, why is he the first one I want to call about this? yet, he was...and from there something really amazing blossomed. I had some conflict about it but in the end I realized, "why am I wasting time with something that others say is perfect from me when I'm really the only one who knows what and who that should be..and why am I not investing more in this with Ricardo?"

I think that's when we talked more and text more...and even as I was spending Christmas in Indiana with my sister, we continued our long distance communication.

Amazingly - it was a friend who suggested I take a trip with her and her husband to Austin over New Years.

And so that's where it all began.

My friend was amazing and gave Ricardo and I the room we needed to discover what would be between us.

Our first date was really incredible not so much as to what we did but that I think for the first time, i was actually relaxed and completely myself.

If you ask him, he'll tell you "I never saw you slouch before." Yes, Miss Proper - slouched because I was that relaxed. It happens in rare occurences but mostly where I feel relaxed. I'd spent most of my life in some sort of leadership role and with my dad as a pastor - I always felt this need to be guarded.

I've seen some nastiness stuff go down - inside and outside the church and so my natural disposition is to be defensive. I've had people who I considered good friends do some really horrendous things and have had nasty things said about me...so I dont think its an excuse but that's just how it is. I'm working on that and Ricardo has alot to do with that.

So that's when it began...we decided that Sunday that we wanted an exclusive relationship and since then have been on a journey. I've never been of the opinion that relationships are romantic fairy tales and certainly in my life - it could never be that...or at least not life the movies. No, this is something so much better. Its real, its honest, its raw, and its something I can trust.

Does he drive me nuts? Sometimes but I think he's the only person that's ever been able to "calm" me and if you know me, then you know exactly what that means. He is strong and silent in a way that I need in my life. He's logical in moments when I'm emotional and he keeps me grounded in that way. We are alike in so many ways and so different in so many others...but one thing that I'm thankful for him, is that he's always supported me in my dreams, goals, and endeavors. He never deterred me from pursuing education or in job choices...no, he's been beyond supportive and has said I just want you to be happy - whatever that is.

Well, he has alot to do with that being happy part. I mean come on...I'm intense, can be broody, can be aggressive, overly assertive, and raw in a way that can be offensive. This I know about myself...and am not proud of but it is who I am. He knows it too and its probably not what he's craziest about, about me...

I've gotten the "what about marriage" question alot lately. I'll tell you what I tell everyone else. You'll have to take that up with Ricardo. He's the one that has to ask...and I'm sure you're thinking well what about you is that something you want. Of course it is, but in its right time and for now - i'm happy to be right where we are!

So about this man Ricardo! I think last night (his bday happy hour) says alot about him and the fact that so many turn out. He's honest in a way that sometimes people dont like. But what you see is what you get. I love his dedication to his family and that fact that he understands mine. He genuinely cares about people. He is indeed a gentle giant and the gentle giant that has won my heart. I'm so glad he has been my partner in crime for the last two and half years and I hope that we have many more to come.

Happy Birthday My Love! I wish you many more and am so glad for this last year!

Poison and Wine

Wanted

I have some thoughts centered around these two videos...but i'm exhausted so i'll try to post them tomorrow. I will say that I'm feelin pulled in multiple directions right now and i'm really wishing for some answers to some open-ended situations. Would be nice to have some resolve and respite from the intensity of life. Just when I feel like I'm making headway, I find myself two steps behind where I once was. It's frustrating and while I know, this path was determined long before I set foot on earth - I'm feeling the constant strain of a relentless season.

I've thought about bringing my keyboard up from my parents house. It's been there for safe keeping after a couple of incidents regarding theft. Needless to say, I've been left guitarless but piano's my first instrument and my specialty anyhow. I forget how soothing and comforting sitting down and just letting go letting my fingers slide across the keys can be. For me, playing has always been therapeutic and a way for me to really express my emtions when I'm expected to maintain composure. It's a free ticket to let loose I supposed.

Don't worry I'm fiercely holding on to my optimism but I know that eventually something has to give. When it does, my list of priorities will come strongly into play.

Alright - so more traveling is on the books. big surprise, right? the only positive about the work trips is that I'll get a break from everything else. you cant really complain when you get some time away from the office paid for by your employer, right?

Should be fun to say the least because I acutally enjoy travelling with my colleagues and my boss has the greatest taste when it comes to things to do and places to eat...always an adventure for sure.

Alright so the next two videos are to help lighten the mood of this somewhat dreary post. Listening to these two definitely puts me in a great mood and flips me around.



Cher Lloyd - really lovin' her voice right now. Alright - bed time for this lady. Hopin you have a great Wednesday - oh thank goodness!

they say it's your birthday

It's the time of year again when all the Leyva children's year counts increase...and we go through our ritual summer birthday dinners. this year's was a little bit different though. we combined my brother's and my birthday dinners together.

A gathering of friends and family - something pretty common for us - though some regulars were missing.

my Godmother and her family gave me card. I just love what it says:

A Birthday Wish...

May you discover a little magic in every moment of your day.

She went on further to say:

"Laura - I like magic, the magic of good friends, good company, and great conversation!"

I couldn't agree more!

Our birthday dinner was alot of that!

I have lots to be grateful for and there's so much unknown right now. I'm not anxious, not nervous, not even really dwelling on any of it. I've adopted a "Que sera sera" attitude about it all. Not very Laura Leyva like at all. But what can I do? So much of it is completely out of my hands anyhow.

Just doing the best in each day to enjoy life in the now. Tomorrow has enough worries of its own. Sound familar?

It's true.

I've had alot of opportunities to dwell on life and death. Spent many hours in my car driving many miles dwelling on the stuff of life. I know you've read my writings about not being morbid and honestly, I'm not.

But we've attended more than a fair share of funerals as of late and it's been almost thrown into my face. There's no ignoring it. Early in July, one of my best friends, laid her dad to rest. My organization has lost some incredible colleagues...and then there's my bro-in-law. There's navigating these new waters with two little ones in tow. My sister and bro-in-law have had many conversations with them and are always willing to answer questions, but there are times and opportunities we've been given to reaffirm life teachings.

Life has thrown challenges at us without a doubt and often we find ourselves weighing between loving and maintaining boundaries. Navigating life is no easy feat...and despite all of the challenges, we're forced to maintain our wits and be the adults as we deal with two little ones with questions and little understanding. I think its knowing they depend on us that keeps me going, keeps me pushing to move on... keeps all of us moving on.

I've previously written about the first time my nephew talked about his perspective of my bro-in-law's illness/state. That instance caused me to think about not just my role as an aunt but also as an adult. Here are these two little ones who need stability and security and its our responsiblity to ensure they feel that. It's also our job to ensure that they are allowed to be kids.

I can think specifically of several "tucking them in bed" conversations where we just talked about whatever was on their minds. For that reason, I always try to let them sleep with me to give them an opportunity to speak about what is on their minds. Lately, my role has just been to reassure them that no matter what we're going to be there for them.

my nephews and sister were unable to join us and we certainly understand why. they were certainly missed but all in all it was a nice relaxing weekend. even got to reiminisce with my brother about the awesome birthday parties my mom would throw us as kids. there are two years between my siblings and I and we were born in June, July, and August...so every year, we're either even or odd number of years old. anyhow, my mom was a notorious bday party thrower! and while they werent the fanciest parties they were always the most fun! putt putt, skating, show biz...shakey's...parks...she always went above and beyond for our birthdays. I remember going to the movies with my cousins as a special treat like when we got to go see E.T. and Mannequin...oh man...super great!

that's the one thing about my parents. my mom was all about parties and my dad was not much of a party goer...he was usually working at least when we were really young...and while he didnt help a whole lot with the throwing of parties he usually ended up buying us the really large gifts...like my first keyboard - Roland JV-80. or Ninetendo's, walk-man's when they first came out...cars...that's just how my parents rolled...

i was so very glad that Ricardo joined us because it just wouldnt of been a bday celebration without him. what i appreciate most about him is that he's able to recognize when I need to rest and he lets me know it's ok to rest. how great is that? exactly what I need in my life. and by exactly - i mean EXACTLY...

apparently - my body was letting me know too because I threw out my back...not in a major way but i heard something pop and then I had restricted movement. much better now but i thought well gee thanks body for letting me know its my birthday!

so this weekend I got to take a nap and just rest and relax so going to dinner i was certainly refreshed and in good spirit. then he completely overwhelmed me with my totally awesome present. oh how i love that man...and not for his wonderful presents but becuase he truly balances me. he's everything I am not...

next weekend is his bday. so off to the ATX I go to celebrate another year of his life! so you can imagine that the next blog will probably be about him! oh that man...we're no spring chickens for sure but at least we can both admit it and be ok with it...

stuck on you: unexpected turns

I'm on a Lionel Richie kick...random yes...

working on a blog but need to get to bed so its gotta wait until tomorrow...been an overwhelming week. traveling tomorrow.

A small act of kindness

A conversation with my brother on our drive home led to this thought and statement. In a day where technology abounds via Facebook, txt messages, Skype, web meetings, etc...

Never underestimate the power of physical presence and "being there."

It is something my parent's generation knows and understands well and I've seen practiced when they show up at someone's doorstep with a casserole or at the hospital just to say "we're thinking about you as you go thru this."

They don't send out txt messages, don't post a Facebook message: they go out of their way to "be there" simply to say we love and support you.

There's something powerful in that...

I'll fly away

This week...there are no words to do it justice but just to say it was filled with lots of emotions.

July 4th has always been one of those odd holidays in my family that we never fully celebrated as kids. Not because we're not patriotic or anything like that but because when my mom was 19, she lost her father in a tragic car accident that changed her family dynamic and would continue to change it even through last year.

I never knew him and only know the stories that my mother tells me and the tragic story of how his death forever affected my uncle. As an adult, we engage in 4th of July activities but it's not celebrated in the way that we celebrate Christmas or New Years...

We don't live in the past just that past events have shaped our celebrations into what they are today.

I spent most of the 4th trying to recover from recent travels. I've spent quite a bit of time with my sister and additional time preparing for some major changes in life. I'm not at liberty to go into any detail mostly because what is posted here is public. Just that the timing is right....

So as the afternoon wore on, I found out that one of my best friends - her father had passed away in the early morning hours with her mother at his side. instantly I thought of Fly from Jars of Clay.

I met my friend while we were in college and we formed a unique relationship initially based on accountability but grew into what I would consider true sisterhood. There are plenty of stories there....including crazy moments and tough conversations...but now she has a little one and family of her own. we don't see each other as often as we'd like but I think we both understand that that is where life has taken us.

Her life changed dramatically when her baby was born. I saw it happen with my sister when her boys were born. It's life's natural progression and I wouldn't begrudge any time she has away from her precious little one. Those are moments to be savored because they grow fast!

But even through life's changes - when we get together its like no time has passed. it's the beauty of those kinds of relationships that is sometimes rare...

So back to her father...it's odd and hard to imagine that he's gone because while I didn't see her parents regularly - they always welcomed me and made me feel at home no matter where I was or doing in life. They have that genuine love about them..and my fondest memories of her dad involve how he was always cracking jokes and trying to make everyone laugh. He was a bit mischievous that way and had a boisterous laugh. I cant remember a time where he wasn't smiling and in a genuinely good mood. I know my friend will miss him...it brings tears to my eyes to even have to fathom not having my own dad around: I cant imagine it nor do I want to.

His illness was unexpected and quick. It's a testament to our human frailty and how we are just one breath away from leaving this earth. I promise I'm not morbid but given my sister's situation it's something I've had to think about and deal with in recent months.It's painful and never easy and no matter the age - changes you.

My friend is strong and for the strength she's unable to provide God will give to her via her family, husband, friends, a quiet moment, the laugh of her baby girl..it will come in unexpected ways... Above all my prayer for her family is continued peace - that passes all understanding, comfort, love, and tranquility.

Saturday - we'll travel to pay our last respects and support her and her family as they say goodnight because as believers - we believe we'll see each other again.

Fly from Jars of Clay reminds me of my own sister and her situation with my bro-in-law...this example is what I see in her...where the strength comes from - it can only be God and I pray that if I ever was in either of their (my sister's or my friend's) shoes that I'd face life's situations with the grace and poise that they have.

It's an honor and privilege to walk beside them and I'll gladly do what I can to support them.

Seems a bit of a stretch to travel next weekend to the metroplex for a celebration for another BFF - a bridal shower...a joyous occasion! Emotional to say the least...but I'm reminded of

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

And so for now - i'm taking it one day at a time....remembering to savor the moments and the relationships because life is but a vapor.

Fly - Jars of Clay
Be still
Let your hand melt into mine
The part of me
That breathes when you breathe
Is losing time
I can't find the words to say
I'll never say goodbye

[chorus]
And I'll fly with you
Through the night so you know
I'm not letting go
I'm not letting go
Tears like rain fill up the sky
Oh my love
I'm not letting go
I won't let you go

[verse]
I saw a host of silent angels
Waiting on their own
Knowing that all the promises
Of faith come alive 
When you see home
Hold still and let your
Hand melt into mine

[chorus]

[bridge]
Shed your heart and your breath
And your pain and fly
Now your alive

Now your alive
Now your alive
Now your alive

I won't let you go
I'm not letting go