thanksgiving and thankful giving

So much to be thankful for. It’s easy to look at what we may not have or what we may want but seems to be missing from our lives. Sorta' that whole cup half full/half empty thing.

I prefer to look at it from a different angle: a cup that runeth over.

This day has been insane. Filled with lots of changes and uncertainty.

Really...that has been my year.

I've moved from silent observer to active participant: such a huge shift.

Challenges and difficulties had to be part of the process...those things make us grow: help us to see life from new angles and gain fresh perspectives. They also stretch us and sometimes painfully so. It's all necessary if we're ever to arrive to that next mile marker in the road.

I can't look at what I don't have or what I think I need. To do so says that the God, I profess to have the ability to provide for all my needs, can't meet those needs. That's simply just not true.

So I look at what I do have: the blessings I've been given...the beautiful people in my life, the opportunities afforded to me...and the places I've been carried through to arrive at this junction in the road.

Life has been soooo beautifully complicated in the last few months. I know, I know. I'm moving towards simplicity but sometimes you gotta' unravel the complications to get to the simplistic: that's my process now. It’s not a nice feeling, but necessary. Oh so necessary.

I oscillate between frustration and peace; happiness and disappointment; irritation and love. The frailty and beauty of my humanity.

I'm not going to divulge the issues at heart. It’s not any one given situation or any one single relationship. Much more like many things changing and moving into new directions at once. It can be overwhelming and can definitely knock you off your feet. But even for that, I'm grateful.

Driving home, I spent a lot of time considering those things most important in my life and why. It’s hard to love difficult people and Lord knows I've had some of those in my life recently. I've thought about unconditional love and the possibilities of where I'd be without it. Thought about sacrifices made and the journeys of the people I love most.

Something’s are better left unsaid and so I have kept silent about many things because in many instances, I've just not been sure. I don't like presumptions to be made of me and so I work to not make presumptions of others or of situations.

While I'm generally happy about being where I'm at for the present, I've come to realize I don’t want to remain there long (meaning my physical location). There's a sort of isolation that occurs from being that far north that for the moment is necessary but not one I'm extremely excited about.

This is huge partly because I expected to be there for a few years more. I'm exploring other options though they are not ones I've previously publicly spoken about. I may have mentioned them briefly as considerations but have never given these options a high priority on the list of locations. Again the ambiguities - I know.

There's more praying to be done but I believe a new shift has already begun.

While this season has not been easy, I can say that yes I am grateful for it. I'm grateful for the lessons learned, the tears shed, the prayers prayed, the family and friends loved...and for each moment given as a gift. Life is a gift. No matter what we face or where we may go.

I've been afforded many, many, many blessings in this last year. Major mile markers in my life and while some left me on a mountain top others found me in a valley. It is life...so while most give thanks for the blessings, I must give thanks for the challenges. For those people who have been thorns in my side or caused immeasurable pain...who have tried to thwart plans or throw wrenches in the works to deter plans...thank you...

You don’t know who you really are or what you're really made of until you face adversity. It’s when you are challenged that who you really are emerges and is tested. Without challenges, without adversity - life would be easy and choices clear...but it’s the wake of adversity and challenges that make hard work necessary and the rewards sweeter.

I don’t think I could understand the true beauty of the love of TRUE friends if it weren't for the flakiness of fair weather friends. I most certainly appreciate my true friends much more genuinely because of it. In knowing and embracing truth, it is then that we can pick out deceit and the counterfeits.

I’ve thought about that a lot. Thought about the kind of friend/family member I am to those in my life. Thought about what I give my energies too and what I focus my time on...thought about those things most important to my life and the priorities I’ve developed. It’s been eye-opening for sure and challenging.

I’ve said challenging a bit in this one...but it’s true...

I am most thankful for challenges...thankful for being put to the test and for hard work. It makes us better people always and keeps us honest in a way we need most.

So thank you Father for all the wonderful things you have brought to my life and things you have done and even for the things you have decided not to bring to my life and decided not to do. Thank you for challenges, thank you for pressing me, and thank you for loving me enough to discipline me. At times, it doesn’t feel great, but I know it’s necessary to spur me on to greatness and the plans you have for me. There is a beauty in pain that leads to redemption and brings me to light.

Lovesick but not in the way you might presume....

Feeling like:

I’m a shipwreck a sailor lost at sea. You’re a tidal wave and you're crashing over me. Caught in your current and I’m sinking but drowning peacefully.

Will be up in a few hours to make stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and my infamous Southern Banana Split Cake.

Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.

May your day be filled with lots of love, laughter, family, friends, and all the pie you can eat!

suitcases and shoes

Started writing this Nov 23rd:

i've been trying to write this blog for the last hour or so. i should probably be in bed sleeping but my nap earlier this afternoon did me in.

cold front blew through, unbeknownst to me, and i was out for the count. with all the cotton farming going on, alot of dirt is being kicked up triggering massive allergies. not fun stuff but i'm dealing with it. the only problem is that when i take allergy meds during the day i tend to be a bit foggy and want to sleep which is why i took a nap today.

woke up in a haze with enough time to make a solid attempt at taming my "bad-hair-day" hair. why was i trying to tame my hair? cause  i was having dinner with a good friend at our usual spot. those meals have been a saving grace in so many ways! first its just good healthy food, second good company, and third great conversation. fellowship does something to the soul that i can't quite put into words right now (my brain is in the process of shutting down).

Continued Nov 25th:

the trip home was super zas fast. i managed to fall into a group of students travelling home so i was able to "fly like the wind." made it home in less than 3 hours which was nice.

i dont know what i was thinkin when i was packing, but i evidently forgot i was only going to be gone 5 nights and 6 days cause i brought enough cloths to last a couple of weeks. like i might of brought more with me home than i did when i went to europe for a month! ish...lol...so that meant three bags. one for cloths, one for shoes, and another one with miscellaneous stuff...

it was late when i started packing and i was not in a conservative space saving type mood. no, it was...ok this is more or less what i need...throw it in the bag! the clothes are nicely folded etc...but i didnt really plan out what i'm wearing on what day. its gonna be an outfit toss-up for the next few days! love it!

i realize that it's late and i'm up watching Transformers II. actually, i spent most of the evening watchin movies. And....drum roll please, i made chocolate chip cookies. it was a nice quiet evening and my brain got to decompress a bit.

still trying to figure out what to do with my phone. will try to sort that out by the weekend. have a feeling this thanksgiving is gonna be a bit laid back and that's perfectly ok with me. gonna be nice to not have to prepare everything! HP it's all you!

hmmmm so yeah...all i have to prepare is my famous stuffing and sweet potato casserole and maybe my southern banana split cake...we'll see.

gonna keep things low key for the remainder of the week. gonna try to get in some studying before heading back to LBK. checked out the forecast and we might be getting some snow! whooo hooo...

not exactly excited about the cold. mainly cause i gotta be in and out of the cold to get to and from class. its not like good ole ASU park by the building and walk in...

no, my journey involves a commuter lot, standing out in the cold waiting for a bus, getting on the bus (which is usually warm), then getting off the bus and taking a brisk walk into the building and repeating that back out to my car. its lots of fun...especially when you have to cross the street and pray that a bus doesnt come barreling down the road and run you over or a car for that matter...

I have to say that Lubbock drivers are THE WORST I've ever seen...and i've been all over...including ITALIAN drivers..and let me just say that they are pretty bad.

ok so speaking of Italian drivers, I saw Angels and Demons tonight with my parents which I originally saw in a theater in Rome in both Italian and English. completely awesome experience. so watching the movie brought back so many memories! and of course most of the sites in the movie, i actually visited or got to see....so that was cool...just made me thankful for this year and some of the experiences I was blessed to be a part of.

hard to believe that i'm at Tech and in grad school...seemed like it would never happen though i know that's not true at all...but getting to that point in the road was a major undertaking. i love where i live now...and am slowly getting acclamated to life in a new place. getting to know more people in my program which is cool and trying to convince old friends to come up and be a part of it.

anyhow...been pretty amazing and gave me much to be thankful for. then there's my totally awesome parents who i just cant say enough about. honestly if it werent for them, i dont know where i'd be in the pursuit of this dream.

so i'm glad to spend this holiday season with good friends and family. so very necessary.

which brings me to the topic of my next blog: family. i realized something today. but its late and i want to sleep!

so i'm gonna leave you with this video from an old school song...dont know why it popped into my head today but reminds me of my bro and the "back-in-the-days" days! lol...alright...nighty nites!

P.S. enjoy the video!

Let me in

I had to post this video...thought it was the most hilarious, cutest, sadest thing i'd ever seen! I love this song and love the interpretation of the maker of this video! ok so here it is:

Let Me In
by Save Ferris

Claude Kelly

I just heard a song that almost completely describes what i've been feelin in the last few days. blagh!

don't you just hate that?

i've been working on a few posts pertaining to specific subjects. just like a work of art, they arent quite ready yet. trying to gather my thoughts and organize them so that they dont come across as convoluted. coming at a number of topics from several differing viewpoints. the nature of conversations, observations, readings, lessongs learned, etc...

i've come to that junction in the road where i'm startin over the massive hill and steam rollin towards the finish line. YES! The semester will soon come to a close. we're less than three weeks away from finals and can we say "STRESS" and "CRUNCH TIME." for the most part, i'm feel pretty calm about the chaotic work load related to school.

alot of other things going on in my life as well. i'd rather not think about any of it until i get through the semester. kinda like deal with the aftermath. i dont recommend it by any means but i just dont have the energies to deal with certain "dramas" right now. i'm doing good to keep my brain wrapped around stats, finance, and marketing....

distractions - you are not welcomed...and as i posted on facebook. Mr Drama Llama you are not my friend!

my parents will be here over the weekend for our last TTU home game. excited and ready to be home for a while. get to spend 5 days at home! i can say that i've come to really really really appreciate my parents on so many levels in the last few months. cant say enough about their love and support. no questions asked just providing what i need when i need it. if that's not God's unconditional love then i must be blind!

i've been asked quite a bit over the last few weeks if i like TTU and the MBA program here. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that "yes, i do really like it." gotten to know some great people pursuing goals and chasing after dreams. its beautiful - really. new people in my life that have provided alot of encouragement and "you-can-do-it"-ness!

i'm not looking forward to winter here though...i've gotten glimpses of it as cold fronts have moved on through and whewwww!!!! its BRRRR RABBIT up in the LBK. i've got my wool coats out including the scarves, gloves, and next purchase will include some golashes. it floods like a beast on campus.

working on the first posting for the singled out womens' online bible study. whew...that's a mouth full. so i've been rereading through the first chapter of our text and waiting on my study guide to come in. but making notes in the margins and such.

This latest project has provided alot of focus and encouragement. Super excited to see where it leads us and what comes of it.

my current project is cleaning my apt since my parents will be arriving later this evening. trying to finish up lanudry and get things put away and such like books, notes, notebooks, laptops, etc...lots of papers from homework, case studies, and reading. ish! i even went through like 60 pairs of socks and matched them with their pairs! lol...insanity. i mean who has that many pairs of socks to begin with and this coming from the lady who likes to run around in chanclas all the time.

i had to check the weather this morning cause i seriously wanted to wear chanclas but it was toooooo cold! glad i decided against that one cause at the bus stop this morning around 10:30 the wind was blowin and yea...so glad i was wearing a full coverage shoe!

so back to this cleaning stuff: I just have to say that I have mad respect for people with families who do the work/school thing full-time! blessings to you and hope you all have a great weekend.

Thanksgiving is moving fast upon us and I have lots to be thankful for this season! Be sure to give thanks for the blessings in your life too!

i'm not a super buffet

You can't turn back the hands of time and change what's already transpired, can't change your circumstances or make your experience into something other than what it was to begin with. Sure you can learn: and in learning and growing your past can be transformed into something used positively in and for the future. But you can’t make it altogether disappear.

We've all heard it said that time heals all wounds and I have to say from my own experiences: yes, it most certainly does. It almost seems that time moves more slowly during those periods though. Why is that? We've all experienced loss on some level. The death of a loved one, a broken relationships, or dreams gone awry; something we wanted more than anything on the planet and then watched it slip through our fingers into the abyss. Sometimes it was for our good and other times because of our own actions. Sometimes we understand exactly why it must be so and other times we're left bewildered and dumbfounded.

I can only say that it’s a process and that on one day we feel a certain way and then another we don't. Emotions/feelings don't last forever and eventually we begin to see the sun peeking through the clouds making way for brighter days and newer seasons to arrive.

This seems to be the season of heartache. Many of you have gone through break-ups or are going through difficult times with significant others currently. Don't worry: I'm not pinpointing anyone specific but if we've had a conversation about it, then you know I'm talking to you. I don't have any answers as to the why's or when's. I can only say thank you for sharing with me your journeys and for trusting me with your feelings. 

I know it's not been easy and I can't say when better days will come, but I know EACH of you will survive this season. You won't be victims: you will be better, stronger, and more secure because of it. I pray for each of you and know that God is with you, seeing you through and in those tough moments when the emotions well, know that He's there willing and ready to listen. Climb into His lap and let Him know how you feel...and then when it’s all been said and done, let it go.

There's more I'd like to say but I need some time to develop my thoughts with the right combination of words. The issue has to do with maintaining the integrity of my views on anonymity. I've never been one to really mask what I feel or how I see things. I've been told by many that I wear my heart on my sleeve and there are definitely moments when I alternate between leaving people clueless as to what I'm thinking or how I feel and moments when there are no doubts as to what I think or how I feel.

Life in recent months has taken a lot of unexpected turns, both for me and my family and I've had to face some stark realizations. I don't gloss over and pretend something is when it isn't. A long, long time ago, I once did and out of the painful results of doing so, I decided I didn't want to be "that girl." By incorporating some really honest and straight-forward people in my life, I’ve managed to stay on the straight and narrow keeping/maintaining as "right” of a perspective/view as possibly given my range of "crazy life" experiences.

I was reading through some past blogs and went through some old journals recently. Just needed to gain some perspective on what I once thought I wanted of this life, what I’d felt God wanted for me, and then ultimately seek what God really DOES want for me.

Digging into the past can be painful and all in the same moment can be so completely joyful. You have the opportunity to see where you've come and what you've been carried through into the present. Hindsight is powerful and often you gain a very different view of your situation/circumstances. Unfortunately, we're not afforded with that luxury ahead of time to guide us in the choices/decisions we make. That kind of hindsight might deter us from some necessary lessons.

Many of you are aware that I took a very, very long hiatus from organized ministry. So many reasons but in short...I just really needed to step back from voices I'd given place in my life....voices in leadership that said "oh you have this talent or are great at this and should be doing this or involved in this or you're a leader assist us with this" and led me along these paths as "partners." Well that was just as long as I was the "yes" man and in complete agreement, everything was gravy but the very moment I voiced concerns or raised opposition, gone like a bolt of lightning these people they were...and too many times I felt I was left holding the bag.

Reminds me of June Cash and her story to Johnny about being the little boy with his finger in the dam wall. It is for that reason I'm so very cautious and often times at distrust with individuals. So many promises...so many spoken pretty words and very little action backing those words. It is also for that reason that I don't trust words unless they are backed by action.

Maybe it shouldn’t be that way, something Jesus and I are working on, but it is what it is. So for me, I needed to step outside of that and see clearly and hear clearly outside of those voices. I learned how to better detect wolves in sheep clothing and to be smarter about the choices I make concerning how and what I decide to be involved in and with. It also made me realize the following: 

I am who I am, faults and all. You don’t get to pick and choose what you like and re-assemble me into something you want. I'm not a super buffet. It's all or nothing and the only one who has the power and right to make any changes is God and God alone. Unconditional love is loving despite their faults because true love isn't about self and what I want.

I've watched too many individuals take that approach to relationships. The "let me pick and choose what I want, let me be conditional in my feelings for you" approach. As long as it’s convenient for you, as long as you stand to gain, as long as I benefit you - only then am I allowed to be involved and part of your life or given place. The moment it becomes too difficult or beyond the effort you want to give...you walk...such sadness...

(Please know I’m not talking specifically about myself. Merely using "I/You" in a generality.)

Taking that kind of approach to any relationship can cause you to miss out on something beautiful and amazing. I hear several of my friends going through this experience and see them in pain, and honestly...my heart breaks for them. Each of them (my friends) is so uniquely gifted with different perspectives and offerings: all super great God loving people. It makes me sad to see them walking through this. That makes me sad that some people don’t see that beauty and don’t appreciate it in the same way. 

My own experiences have left me in a state where I can say that I can relate. It’s never easy to face realities and to confront truths that hurt but that's exactly where healing begins...in truth. First, in being honest with yourself and then in continuing to maintain that honesty and moving forward. Easier said than done for certain.

There are some things/situations I’d like to forget altogether; just completely erase them from my mind, but that's not possible. No...we must deal and walk through the consequences of our choices. In the end, it makes us better people, I’m sure of it. Makes us more aware of God's love for us and makes us grateful that He's not a man that He should lie but is with US ALWAYS.

God never gives us more than we can handle and never leaves us on the road alone: something I remind myself of always. I know that on the bus rides going from school to my car when I start to stare into nowhere cause my thoughts wander to situations in my life that He's there with me. He's constantly reminding me that all things are under His control even when it doesn’t seem so.

A year ago I lost one of my cats. Came back from a trip to find he had passed on. Apart from losing my grandmother so many years ago, I’ve never experienced that kind of loss. I didn't realize how much I loved that cat until he was gone. I cried for three days solid and simply could not understand why I was so saddened by his departure.

A friend of mine called me to see how I was doing. My response was, "I don’t know why I'm crying, he was just a cat!" I couldn’t see it clearly at the time...but love has a funny way of sneaking up on you sometimes. I fell in love with Señor Poochie...his funny way of meowing at me or playing catch with me had somehow captured my affections.

In his absence, I finally fully realized just how deeply I cared and loved him. A year later, I still miss him...still love him but my memories of him are different now. I don’t immediately think about his stinky breath or how he'd meow in my face at 5am to be feed...No, my memories are of his crazy antics of bringing me his toys to play fetch with and how he'd sit with me watching TV. Cracks me up now.

The point being that yes it took some time to get to a positive place a place where I could think of him and not cry but I eventually did. The first few days after he was gone were the hardest and most painful....but I can say that I didn't feel that same pain when I walked the stage at graduation (6 months later) or boarded a plane to Italy or even moved to Lubbock...and while the loss of a human relationship is not the same as that of a pet by any means...the idea regarding "time and healing" is.

Listening to you and reflecting on my own experiences, I was reminded of a Bonnie Raitt song, "You can’t make someone love you"...how true...can’t make them choose to stay, can’t make them decide to do what it takes to make things work...can't make them love you the way you want to be loved.

All you can do is be responsible for you and your choices and at the end of the day you have to trust that God will make what you give be more than enough for the right person. This is Allison Iraheta's version of that song...

After re-reading this blog, I had some additional thoughts to add in regards to "not being able to make someone love you." I thought about my relationship with God. Isn't that what He wants of me? For me to love Him because He is who He is and without reservation? Will post an additional blog about this in the next few days (11-22-09)

love you all: continuing to pray that brighter days arrive sooner than later...

Rev Run Wisdom and wisdom from others...

ain't that the truth!

Ladies: Trying to forget someone u love, is like trying to remember someone u never knew... Impossible!

he's rackin them up tonight. here's another one:

The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesnt want to be held on to.. real talk

more words of wisdom, this time from my best friend:

There is freedom in saying the things you should have said but didn't because of fear.

for a friend going through some stuff

statistically speaking

it finally happened. my phone is bah-roke. service is supposed to be de-activated until i can figure out exactly what i'm going to do. at the moment, i can receive calls but cannot make any nor receive any text messages, so if you try to call or send a text and i dont respond, yeah that's why....

i really really dislike Sprint. hate might be a better description of how i feel towards their service/product, but i'm attempting to remain positive today so we'll just use dislike for now.

i've been teeter-tottering about staying with sprint or jumping ship to another service provider.

the last time i went without phone service was while i was away overseas during the summer and then just delayed turning service back on for a few weeks. it was kinda nice! so maybe i'll enjoy the break.

i'm in stats and seriously, this is sad....my class is sad i mean. about 1/3 of the class is actually here and most look comatose already and we're just 30 min into the lecture. im just glad i was smart enough to save my materials from my undergrad stat work so i can rely on that for assistance.

i'm thinking today might be a arts and crafts day. i need some creativity in my life after having to deal with some jabroni's in my life. i'm trying to rid my life of idiotic drama on almost every level. More importantly...learning to walk away from drama and people who only care about themselves. i cant do anything for those kinds of people and honestly - dont want to surround my life with those kinds of personalities. been there, done that and all i can say is that it's draining...as in drains the life, joy, and energy outta ya.

yeah - cant do that anymore. i got enough on my plate to be concerned with dont need to add anything in addition to what is absolutely necessary. again, i'll reiterate - dont make assumptions here...you probably dont know exactly what i'm talkin about. in fact - i can almost guarantee you dont know what i'm talking about.

that seems to be the danger about blogging. people sometimes assume the subject matter you're bloggin about refers to them which sometimes - yeah it is...sometimes its a combination of situations, and sometimes its someone elses situation.

when referring to someone else's situation, i try to put it into my perspective so as not to expose the party that the subject is related to - most especially when i dont have permission to use the person's identity in the situation. i try to maintain a bit of sensitivity in that regard. some situations - its better not to identify the parties involved...would only cause more drama for them and that is never my intention.

all i gotta say is that i'm done dealing with rude people....

i woke up this mornin' determined to make the most of the day. challenges are in my wake and i'm not exactly looking forward to any of it, but hey - sometimes you just gotta "buck up" and do what's gotta be done. (ok people are droppin outta this class like flies!)

it's been a tough, tough semester. i made some decisions back in august that i'm now dealing with the consequences of. should've stuck with the plan and instead i took a risk and deviated. cant say i haven't learned anything from it, because i totally did...

but you know...when you ask the Father to open a door and provide and then when He does, and you go and slam the door in His face...yeah...not a good thing by any means! and that was one HARD lesson to learn. i've since repented from the error of my ways and am working to make things right. let me just say, i defintely don't want to do that again.

you live, you learn...that is the way of the world. i'd prefer to live, ask, listen, obey, then learn...definitely a much better way to go...probably with less heartbreaking moments as well. but no, sometimes i'm "terca" which i'm learning sometimes lands me in tough spots i could've avoided.

one of my closest friends gave me a quote, "wisdom is learning from experience, preferably not your own." so true, so true. that is my hope with my writings...that maybe you'll learn somethin and can avoid the pitfalls i sometimes succumb to but even greater in purpose, that you might walk away with hope - that yeah you can do more than survive in this thing called life. above the "cannon ball runs" with the drama llama, i can say that i'm blessed beyond measure.

life sometimes gets rough/hard but i know beyond any shadow of a doubt that God's with me always. it is the one promise, i am most CERTAIN of (there are others of course but it is the one i'm most confident about). so when things look like they're getting ugly...i remind myself that, i'm not alone in this.

when things are good, i remind myself of that too. its easy to forget when things are good and so i'm grateful for tough moments in life. tough moments remind me of who's really in control. its not me, for sure!!! and just when it seems everything is going to crumble, God always comes through and provides exactly what i need when i need it. how can i weep and wallow over that? its more than i deserve and that has a definite way of bringin' humility and clarity to the things that are most important in life.

i'm upon that part of the road where endurance is being tested. as i look back from where i've come, its too far to go back - just gotta keep pressing forward - not only that, but why would i want to go back. living life abundantly and free can often become convoluted and entangled by our own self-imposed encumbrances. oh no, thank you! hence blockin the drama llama.

i gotta dedicate this post to my peoples....fly girl/blanche, silent smoker/sophia, vanilla ice, jenny from the block/hp/rick, rox rox, B Ram, god bless you, and the SA fashionistas...you have made me laugh, crazy mad - sometimes to the point of tears,  bringing such great measure of joy reminding me that better days are just a conversation away! i love each of you and pray incredible blessings for what you add to my life. thanks for believing and practicing addition and not subtraction!

Instead of practicing subtraction and division, I've decided that today I will engage in addition and multiplication.

FOTOS Y RECUERDOS

monday has not gone as planned. not to say its not going well...

i woke up this morning lagging before i even got out of bed. not sure what it is. im starting to think age may be affecting my abilities to travel. i'd rather believe it has to do with recovering from the respiratory trauma of last week but who knows. not to mention a nice little ol' cold front rolled right on through last night. it was brrrr rabbit.

alot of travel in recent weeks and more to come in the weeks that will follow. i can say i'm excited about the next few trips on the books! those of you who have known me for any extended length of time, know that i pretty much spend more time everywhere else in Texas than where ever it is that i'm living (with the exception of the last school year).

But even then, i did alot of day trips to Brownwood while my sister and fam were living there and trips up to LBK to visit my bro. i'm a travel-holic: i think. my last extended travel stint was my texas tour before moving further north. this last months travel, consisted of going back to angelo - several trips there.

so its really no big deal for me to drive three hours somewhere and back. i've even done dallas like that...yes, it's crazy i know. but hey, you do what you have to do.
i'm sure i've given the impression that i'm home sick (with all the trips back to angelo). uhhhmm, yeah - not necessarily so. don't get me wrong - miss lots of people who live there but i also love where i'm living now and honestly, really do like it here. however, i left in such a hurry that i didnt necessarily tie up loose ends when i moved out here. i mean its been whirlwind since getting back from Europe.

so now - i'm paying the piper and having to take care of those things that are pressing and tie up loose ends - things like car maintenance, paperwork, sending stuff to storage, etc...i still have a closet full of cloths at my parents house, so im trying to get rid of excess while keeping the necessities. its taken more time than i realised it would.

i made some decisions which drastically affected my current situation so i've been working on sorting out those details and that takes a bit of time. not anything drastic or bad just working at making some changes and being smart about the future.

so that means another big change come the start of the new year. all good stuff but it will be a while before i see the positive effects. it does however, create some shifts in the present that arent always fun but they're necessary. i love adulthood....lol

trying to get back to san antonio to visit friends. hopefully that will go down during thanksgiving weekend. will keep you posted.

there's a couple of things i wanted to address but its late. might have to wait until i have clarity of mind. took a nap today and that threw me a bit. definitely left me refreshed and ready to finish out the day. deadlines are getting a bit intensive as we barrel towards the holidays. can't believe the semester is coming to a close in a few weeks. feels like just yesterday we were kickin off orientation. i'll be 1/3 of the way through with my MBA at the end of the semester.

had some really hilarious conversations today. just gotta say that laughing is sooooo where its at. I posted the following quote on facebook.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. ~Bob Newhart

ain't that the truth. something about being silly with girlfriends that know you well that can give you a new spin on things...well that and cake! lol.. but that's a story for another time. life is crazy but for the moment, its good!

midnight voyage

senorita poochie is joining me for tonight's blog.

today was interesting. i managed to get mostly packed last night but for some reason had a hard time sleeping or maybe it was waking up. had the swollen puffy eyes thing going on but i did feel better than i did wed and am continuing to see improvement on the whole respiratory issues.

i thought i would load everything before heading to class but realized that wasn't gonna happen. so i take off, get to class and see that half the class is missing...turned in my homework and sat through the class. when it was over, i raced out the door right and then realized i needed to print up one of the chapters in order to complete my finance homework due monday.

after fighting with my printer and installing a new cartridge, i managed to get the 35 pages printed. by then i had finished packing everything and even got the car loaded. grabbed a quick bite and out the door i went.

arrived to an semi-empty house- senorita poochie was waiting for me. she meowed me to death until i finally was on the floor petting her to her heart's content.

the rents eventually showed up. but it gave me time to get on the keys (piano) and practice, something i really miss in LBK. its forced me and my guitar to become better friends. hauling up my Korg this time without exception. i managed to break into the christmas music which made me super excited about the holiday season. some crazy stuff going on with holiday plans. not sure exactly who im spending it with and christmas not sure where...doesnt make much sense, i know but plans are in the works...just dont know who's making it and who is not.

i do know that my cousin is hosting the fam for her first ever thanksgiving meal. shes not exactly a martha stewart type. ok but she does make a mean microwave meal....and a greenbean casserole. however, her repertoire is limited. my sister, tia, and i are the main chefs in the fam - apart from my dad. usually my sis, tia, and i are the ones to prepare most of the dishes for Thanksgiving and yes i can cook a bird. my mom is happy to work on the cleaning crew.

so we're breakin in the cousin and makin her do most of the hard work! lol...should be interesting and yes i plan on getting pictures of that. actually im looking forward to it cause im going to give her my secret stuffing recipe!

alright so tonight was dinner with the extended fam. lots of fun and after i headed over to my prima's to catch up. Oh my goodness....she had me crackin up so hard. its the kind of laugh that makes you cry and you cant stop and then your throat starts hurting cause you're laughing so hard. like doubled over laying on the couch crackin up. it was sheer awesomeness...

looking forward to the thanksgiving break for sure.

so i've gotten a few, why are you going home so frequently questioning. no need to worry...lol. there's always some sort of drama going on in my life. as much as i try to eliminate it - it finds me. but no - nothing major. my folks had been out pocket for a few weeks on account of my sister. during that time some stuff was going to be taken care of but got delayed. things like having my timing belt changed out. i dont like dealing with car maintenance stuff...so i came down to swap out cars. some stuff i dont mind taking care of - other stuff id rather not deal with.

i had taken in my car to have a tire looked at. my dad found a nail in it and when i took it in, turned out the nail didnt puncture the tire and there was no leak. however, when they put the tire back on, the balance wasnt quite right. so when i came home last weekend, the car would shimmy a bit. so i ran it by my dad who instructed me to take it back...which i did and ended up having the tires rotated and balanced which fixed the problem! yay....and the guy i dealt with at the shop was super duper nice...its a welcome change cause sometimes grease monkeys can make the ladies feel stupid...im not one of those i dont know anything about cars but im no mechanic either.

i know basic stuff about fluids, brakes, etc...and yes i can change a tire and have been able to do so and have done so since i was 18. i especially dont like when i take my car to get an oil change and they ask me three times if i have the correct weight in oil...i want to say nah, i'm just makin it up. ok for starters ive only owned the car for the last five years - yeah i certainly hope i know what weight of motor oil it uses! agh....im not a stupid girl, im actually a very smart one.

so i most certain appreciate it when the fellows who service my vehicle treat me accordingly. like the dealership in lubbock...they have a good service dept and so i dont mind taking my vehicle there for oil changes....now the one in angelo...FORGET IT...you couldnt pay me to go in to that dept and NO i will NEVER EVER EVER take my vehicle there again. if i have to tow it three hours to have it fix, i'll do it based sheerly on principle alone...

so yeah...love dealing with vehicle maintenance....

however, it'll be taken care of this week and next week when my parents come up, they'll bring my car and we'll swap. whoo hooo

i'm definitely looking forward to the rest of this weekend though...hope you're having a great one too!

"NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR CHONES"

I can't take credit for the title of this blog. It was actually my best friend's idea and it actually was spawned from a seminar development session for Congreso. Yes, that's right "Fashion 101"  was "Nobody wants to see your chones" before it got split into a guy/girl session and renamed "Fashion 101." Which by the way, i hear went really well and the ladies who led those sessions killed it.

ok so i said I was going to write this post because of an experience I had today. so here goes....

everyday when i go to school, i park my car in a commuter lot and have to take a bus further into the campus. i could walk but when its cold its a very long and chilly 15-20 min walk through Urbanovsky Park.so today, i'm riding the bus from a mind-numbing stats exam (not necessarily hard just more confusing than a rubik's cube at some points). its hard to guage exactly what he's asking for. maybe its cause he's too wordy...and so bent on everything being concise...who knows...

ok so yeah, my brain might as well have been spaghetti after that thing but i make my way over to the bus stop. its windy and a bit chilly but other wise sunny...so the bus pulls up and this guy and girl are chatting and the guy walks right in front of me and hops on the bus...which is why (if you follow my tweets) I asked, "what happened to ladies first?" it was rude boy's doing...oh it gets better...and yes this is where the "chones" enter the picture.

so we ride over to the commuter lot, no big deal. i'm busy with my normal routine of checking emails, facebook, txt messages, etc...stuff i missed while taking the above mentioned mind-numbing exam (by the way stats is short for statistics for those of you not in the know - i forget not everyone gets the acronyms).

back to my story...we make it through the Chitwood stop and roll on by the Spirit arena without stopping....(sometimes the bus drivers stop even though no one's there - i think they're supposed to always stop but some just keep on rollin by even when there are people standing there).

we make it to the first commuter lot stop and said girl who was talking with the Rude Boy mentioned earlier...proceeds to get off the bus making this big 'ole deal about saying bye to Rude Boy...so she's climbing off the bus and THATS WHEN IT HAPPENED!

there i saw what i DID NOT want to nor NEED to see. girl was wearing uggs (of course - this is tech) with some yogo pants rolled down at the waste revealing *drum roll please * her chones (i wont mention what kind cause its nobody's business) and a tshirt that wasnt long enough to cover that stuff up. ok so i'm thinking "oh lord, help that girl" when the guy leans over to get an extra peak and watch her walk off the bus to her car...basically oogling her the whole stinkin' time.

that's when i wanted to BARF....luckily i had on my sunglasses so my death-ray-eye stare apparently didnt phase or affect Rude Boy one bit. he was too busy lookin at the "goods." meanwhile, Chone Girl has no stinking clue and walks to her car like she's super cool.

i know, i know...there will be some who think what's wrong with that? that sounds perfeclty fine...

but i come from the ole' skool, we were taught a different way. not any of this all-up-in-your-face...here are my chones stuff...yes...chones are meant to be worn UNDER your clothes...and like my friend Zandra said "keep ya freakiness behind closed doors."

have a little respect for the general public: be mindful if you will. not only that but its a good way to invite trouble...there are a number of reasons why you should keep your chones to yourself or like Zandra said "Behind closed doors." the main point being I don't want to see them nor do I want to witness some mocoso droolin over you as you walk outta the bus. its an embarrasment to women everywhere...well unless you're freaky like that, think its awesome, and are somehow proud of those kind of actions.

either way, I thought I would post some helpful reminders here...do not wear white chones when you are wearing all white...FLESH TONE ladies, flesh tones...or white bra's when you're wearing a black shirt...again black or flesh tones...and be sure to wear a slip when you're wearing a dress or skirt...i can understand if you just didnt know...but please ladies for the love of respect, pass on the "girl you need to know this" information to your fellow sisters...

don't be drinkin the haterade - lettin your girlfriends, co-workers, mother-in-laws, people you dont like walk around lookin scandalous...ive even heard of the neon bra with a white blouse...yes...ladies, prints show through whites and sometimes through other colors...when in doubt ask a lady that's gonna keep it real and be honest with you..i mean like keep it REAL REAL with'cha.

i made my blog title announcement on facebook and i decided to post the conversation that ensued...apparently this is a topic that no one really addresses...geee, i wonder why...talk about this stuff people! it would save others alot of embarrassments and the general public from seeing things we DO NOT want to see...ok so, the comments went as follows:

I posted:

i decided that my next blog is gonna be titled, "no one wants to see your chones" after some observations obtained while riding on the bus from/to the commuter lot this morning.

Zandra Glass: huh what did ya see ?
Laura M Leyva: stuff that no one wants to see...apparently there's no concern for modesty these days...
Vanessa Aregullin: Yeah well, I'd rather see chones than a butt crack! I can't stand being in class and seeing (girls that wear those low waisted jeans) butt cracks when they sit down.
Zandra Glass: right, i feel like there is a differance between sexxy and SLUTTY!!! keep ya freakiness behind closed doors ,like me lolol
Roxanne Balderaz: hahaha!
Elizabeth Jaramillo: Lol that's gross & funny!
Lori Gutierrez: Amen do it sister!
Laura M Leyva: Zandra - you crack me up!
Albert Lopez: So, you're saying I shouldn't wear my lowrise jeans...
Laura M Leyva: not unless you're wearing the appropriate chones to accompany said lowrise jeans and long shirt to cover the back!
Albert Lopez: What about my tight running shorts.
Albert Lopez: Laura -note to self, sit in front of bus
Laura M Leyva: we've already had that discussion...do i need to call Jenn?
Laura M Leyva: more like note to self - dont look at anyone on the bus - avert your eyes and keep them on your feet.
Albert Lopez: no, just sit in the front. I'm not sure I trust your walking skills. You might end up with a bump on your head.
Laura M Leyva: SHUT UP! i forget i'm vertically challenged.
Andrea Leyva Batista: hilarious!

NEEDLESS to say - i may just take Albert's advice and start sitting at the front of the bus...my next fashion topic will concern my disdain for those "oh-so-popular" nike shorts worn w/tights and uggs...i see like 50 girls a day wearing the exact same outfit. oh yeah with a north face jacket too...same clothes, different colors...seriously..

headed to angelo this weekend. cant wait to see more friends and the familia...i love family: they make the world a better place to live in (at least mine does for the moment!!!) lol...

one last word of advice and guys this goes for you too:

KEEP YOUR CHONES TO YOURSELF!!!

*unless your married, then just keep it behind closed doors*