Last week I traveled to be with my sister and her family. I've written many times about my Brother-in-law and his state of health which continues to deteriorate. He's in hospice care and is now home. We've been told that he doesn't have long and like all other things we're trusting in God's timing.
My sister contracted an infection in her finger and had hand surgery in Jan. The infection hadn't cleared and she had a second surgery last Thursday which was to include a graft. They were unable to complete the graft and she goes in for a third surgery tomorrow. We also learned that the infection had gone to the bone and the DR had to chisel some away.
Given her surgery and two small boys, she needed some help.
No surprise I packed my bags and headed their direction to provide a hand. In the last year, I decided that family is one of my priorities. We've been through a number of ordeals in the last year or so.
There have been great blessings too! Lots of joys including time with my two small nephews whom I love very much. At the end of the day, who I am is an older sister. I didn't always take up for my siblings as a kid which I think I tend to overcompensate for in my adult life.
At the drop of a hat, I'd take off to whatever city my sibling lives in to give them a helping hand.I don't apologize for it and don't regret any time I spend with my folks and siblings because at the end of the day, family is all I really have. It's why I love Ricardo so much. He understands family dedication and I've seen him give and do for his own family.
Living in the same city has been good in a number of ways. But it also allows me to spend time with him during the week - freeing me up to be with my family on weekends. It's more important now as my Brother-in-law's health wanes. I suspect he won't be with us very much longer.
Of course, no one knows but God when its time for someone to go on to the next life.
We were told that my grandmother wouldn't make it through the end of the week and she surprised everyone by surviving over 2 months longer.
Given my sister's surgery and BIL's health - I'm constantly reminded how short life is. So my decision making is prefaced with that in mind.
I returned to my office today. Busy to get ahead of a long list of work tasks. Then I received an email from my brother about the Boston marathon. Shortly after a text from Ricardo about the same topic.
For most in my office, it was a bit of disbelief but business as usual.
My brother had friends and teammates (on his Beef Team) running in the Boston Marathon. I know he's been working to qualify and is close.
I try to make it out to his races to cheer him on but also because I've heard of runners collapsing and the thought my brother being alone in the event something should happen is why I make the effort to be there. I'm proud of his accomplishments but also want to be sure he's taken care of too. I'm an older sister that's what I do - look after my siblings.
I've watched my mom do it with her own siblings and I know that in doing so it makes my parents proud and more at ease that we're looking out for each other.
So hearing the news about spectators at the Boston sort of his home. I know what its like to wait anxiously for your loved one to cross the finish line. Cheering them on and being proud of their accomplishments.
I also know what it has taken for my brother to reach this point which is why I feel the need to share his own posts regarding today's events.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened in Boston today. I find that when I'm like this it helps to write, so here goes. I'm really bothered by today, probably more than I should be. I guess this tragedy just hits close to home. I had a lot of folks check on me, which I appreciated. While I didn't run today, I had friends running and luckily they are all ok. Work was pretty busy, but still managed to follow their progress online. I was really excited for them. If you aren't a runner, then you may or may not know what I'm about to tell you. Getting into the Boston Marathon is hard! It's especially hard for my age group. I have to run a marathon in 3:05, or at about a 7 min/mile pace. This basically means I have to finish in the top 3% of your typical marathon field. I've been working on this for awhile and am getting closer (I finished in the top 5% in Austin). I'm hoping to qualify for Boston later this year.
So with that being told, you can understand my excitement for my friends. Running Boston is every marathoners dream. Getting your jacket and medal means that you've arrived as a runner. It means you are legit! It's supposed to be a victory lap celebrating all of the hard work you put in to get there. I've been dreaming of running Boston for awhile now. It's what makes me get up at 5 am on weekends to run 13 or so miles. It's what drives me to wear tights and run when its 20 degrees outside. So part of me feels bad for everyone who worked so hard to run Boston only to have this moment turned into a bitter tragedy. I can only imagine those runners who were at mile 26 and had to stop so close to their goal. Even worse, I can imagine being stopped at 26 and finding out what happened with no way to check on your family.
But while having your dream crushed is hard, the pointless loss of life is even worse. The people there did nothing wrong. They were there to celebrate with their loved ones. The finish line of a race is the best. It's where all the crowd gathers. When you're tired, you get an extra kick to push to the finish just from the cheering. The scene is supposed to be euphoric, not tragic. My thoughts and prayers are with those who lost loved ones. One of the victims was only eight, which is about my nephew's age. It's just very sad and makes no sense.
My sister and I were talking earlier and she said "this almost makes you want to not do anything big." Well, I'm not going to let the fear of death stop me from living. What's the point of living if you never truly live? Racing itself can be dangerous which is why I pray that I live to race again each time I step into a corral. I'm a Christian and I'm pretty confident in where I'm going, so I'm not afraid to die. However, I've still got a whole lot to live for. That being said, I'm still going to train and I WILL RUN BOSTON! I won't try to make sense of what happened because you can't. I'll just be praying for those affected.
He's absolutely right. None of us knows when our days on earth will end.
Certainly no one at the Boston Marathon expected the end that it came to. I hope that our American spirit will prevail and that we will live not in fear but despite of it. That we'd continue to do the things that we'd normally do.
The day will come when my brother qualifies and rest assure, I will be there to cheer him on!
Because that is who I am: a sister to a marathon runner.
Life is too short to be lived in fear and in the what if's. I hope that's something we teach my young nephews that they see how we embrace life and the opportunities afforded to each of us; making the most of what we've been given.
The last week has been tough and I suspect the weeks to come may be tougher. But with God and each other; I know God will provide a way for us.
Love deeply and let your loved ones know exactly how you feel. Make amends when possible and the whole point of all of this is to live so that in the end it can be said that you ran a good race!
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