"Holy emails, Batman!"

I'd begun working on a post about miscommunication which I will post shortly, but between developing that post life took some crazy turns. Let me update you.

Sometime before Easter, I got an upper respiratory infection. So I saw my PCP and was prescribed some meds and by the following week I was back in business...then I contracted an eye infection.

Another round of antibiotic eyedrops followed and again a few days later....tip-top shape. But then my bro-in-law was readmitted to the hospital. We weren't sure if he was going to be released by Easter but he was and so an impromtu trip to San Antonio was put on the books.

All in all the trip was lots of fun and spending time with my nephews is always a joy to me.

So my bro-in-law ended up back in the hospital right after Easter. He's now home on palliative care.

this is the part we've dreaded most.

Many people have asked me what he has...its not an easy question to answer. He's had well over a dozen surgeries since 2005. He had been diagnosed with acid reflux and then I believe IBS and then something with his gall bladder. The first surgery removed his gall bladder.

However, the real problem was a congenital defect in a duct in his pancreas. That problem wasnt discovered until a year after his gall bladder had been removed. A year later, his pancreas had suffered major irreprable damage.

Long story short, Cary ended up meeting a specialist in Minneapolis who said he'd eventually need an Auto Islet Cell Transplant. The doc expected this to occur in about 5 to 10 years but it was only a year later that Cary went under the knife again.

This time his spleen, appendix, and pancreas were removed. The Islet cells were harvested from his pancreas and injected into his liver. Worst case scenario, Cary would be a diabetic for the rest of his life. We almost lost him twice in recovery and docs rescitated him...opened him back up and found a blood vessel/vein had not been repaired. In essence Cary was bleeding out. They fixed it and Cary began a long road of recovery. The doc thought this route would give Cary at least another 10-15 years of life.

About a year later we discovered that the Islet cells in his live had died...and Cary was now diabetic but on top of that issue - his endocrine system was out of sync and he was self-dehdydrating about every 6 weeks. He gave us several scares during that time as his blood pressure would drop and he'd lose consciousness.

Fast-forward to last August when his Dr told him he was now suffering from liver failure complicated by the fact he's also now diabetic and he isnt a viable candidate for a liver transplant. Probably the hardest news to date. My sister and Cary went through the difficult tasks of making funeral arrangements.

Not uncommon when you get up there in age, but completely out of sequence for a 30 year old.

I remember my nephew saying to us, "maybe God can heal my Daddy..." it was heartbreaking because we believe that God can, but the question is will He? I certainly do not understand God's plan for this situation. Dont completely understand why my sister, bro-in-law, and small nephews were chosen to walk down this road.

It is one of the hardest journeys any of us has endured in life to date. We have no answers and instead can only trust that whatever it is that God is doing will work to the good of those who love Him. Yes we've been through some very tough situations but I can say without doubt that no matter what God has seen us through them ALL.

And in that, there is this very odd and unexplainable peace. We know this is what the bible talks about as the "peace that passes all understanding."

We dont know how much time Cary has with us. All we know is that we have to make the most of each moment. We have to make this time count and there's no time to wallow in self-pity or sadness. For my two small nephews sake, life must continue.

That is where my priorities have shifted - to my sister, bro-in-law, and nephews. Tougher days will come - no one is exempt from them. But together we will endure because three strands are better than one.

It's that understanding which allows me to maintain focus and perspective and it reminds me to make the most of my relationships. Because time is fleeting and at the end of this life, all the valuables and riches mean nothing if our lives are empty of meaningful relationships, compassion, and love.

Regardless valuables and riches are not the end all-be-all and what do I gain to have all the "stuff" of life but to miss out on meaningful relationships and love?

I understand what John Piper meant when he said "dont buy intot he trap of the american dream." It was to meant to be about the attainment of stuff...because that goal can never be fully accomplished. New stuff is created every day adding to the never-ending cycle of "new stuff"....but our opportunity for love and relationships is completely attainable and brings the greatest satisfaction and fulfillment.

I know this everytime my nephews hug me, when they crawl into bed with me, or even when we share pancakes or waffles...its the small things that bring the greatest joy.

So my prayer is that Cary be given time - time to be with his boys and my sister - time to make precious memories - and that he not suffer.

Everything else I leave in God's hands because I dont know what the ending to this story should be. My knowledge and insight is limited. My scope of understanding is limited. So I leave the answers to the only one who truly knows. My faith, hope, and peace rests there...