sometimes things you'd never expect to happen: happen. i can pretty much say that's been my whole summer. if I could characterize the summer in one word, I'd use "traumatic." as if the workload for school wasnt enough which has been way more than any of my individual semesters since 2007 including the 18hr in-class with 12 hrs online semesters, life dealt my family some additional blows.
i keep hearing in my head "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" and it scares me because my reaction is immediate "what is coming down the pike that could be worse than this that i need preparation for?" ok i'm not asking that question cause then God will only bring about those events that would answer that question...God i can gladly wait...i used to say that i wasnt really stunned by life events. i mean my dad's a pastor so i've pretty much seen and heard it all...well after the last month or so i can say that is mostly true.
saving grace has come in the form of people who love in spirit and in truth. that's all i can say. i'm so ever glad for those relationships. they've been a God-send. its allowed me to see past the mess of words and to see what's really important and for me its always been my family. to some it may not appear that way, but to those who know me best you know, well you know differently.
i cant exactly say that i'm surprised by the last round of events. unexpected for sure...but i feel a bit cynical saying that i was waiting for it. i mean...we all have people in our lives that uhhhmmm..deal in drama. and not just deal in it but rather live in it. i've been trying to cut the drama out of my life and its not been an easy task. i've learned this mostly from my dad who is completely non-dramatic and from ricardo, my significant other, who is cool as a cucumber. it amazes me...and that really is an understatement.
i also realized that these two men are in my life for a reason and its humbling. the summer has been full of hard lessons but lessons i'm grateful to learn. from previous experiences i know these lessons will come back for a time of application. i also know that you always reap what you sow...so i'm work at sowing better stuff. not always easy but it really does make us better people and at least for me, it lets me sleep at night.
i cant undo the wrongs of my past but at the same time i refuse to let people in the outer fringes hold me to those mistakes i've worked hard to move past and beyond. what is in the past is in the past. it cant be changed, can't be undone which is why i'm keeping my mouth shut. in the end there are few opinions i worry about and those that i do, i know exactly where i stand and when the sun sets that's really all that matters to me.
i can say that i'm so glad my mom's doing better and thanks to all of you who have been praying for her. i know she's impacted so many of your lives and if you've ever spent time at my house then you spent at least 30 minutes talking with my mom. for many of you, she learned your whole life story in about 15 minutes cause that's the kind of lady she is.
we're hoping and praying that the summer will end on a better note than what we started with. what more...we pray fall would be....boring! it would be a nice break. but this is how life goes, no? in seasons...some good, some not so good....a friend of mine posted on facebook the other day..."when life throws you lemons....don't just make lemonade......open up an aquas frescas on the south side and cash in...."
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