the unexpected

i never thought that my spring semester would be preparation for the marathon race i'm running now in the summer.

one family crisis right after another....

i've gotten alot of, you're under alot of stress right now, but honestly...i'm mean in sincere honesty: my sentiments reside somewhere between "roll up your sleeves and dig deep" to "we just have to do what we have to do." To some it may seem cold/calculating...but it's not trust me. It's more along the lines that my emotional tank is on empty and so rationale has taken the reigns.

not to mention, in crisis, something inside me kicks on and I shift into "look out for everyone" mode. maybe it has something to do with being a first born and all the opportunities in leadership. it's an innate part of my being. so there's no time for falling apart (in my mind). and honestly...i have a peace about the situation.

these last few months have had so many ups and downs, you'd think we'd spent the summer at six flags.

no, its just life.

the summer started with a mini-vacation to san antonio...on my way back, a delinquent decided to throw a rock/brick threw my driver-side window and steal my ipod. I make it back to the panhandle and life was starting to settle...

unexpectedly, one of my uncles passed away...from there life has thrown us one curve ball after another.

i had to deal with crazy changes with financial aid...and not in a good way...due to the way my graduate program is set up, I'm  considered a part-time student this semester because I have 5 hrs and had 7 last...so even though I have 12 overall and am full-time...those pesky 5 hrs put me at part-time status which affected my grant amounts. i was not a happy camper about that....

so during that whole ordeal, my mom had surgery. She was in her second week of recovering when i found out i received a $4,000 scholarship from the National Society of Hispanic MBA's - Austin Chapter. Of course that was a major bright spot in my day! my mom reminded me of how God blesses our hard work. I have to agree....

had a great visit this last weekend with good friends and the person for whom I have hearts in my eyes for! LOL....while visiting, I got word that a good, close friend's grandpa had passed away.

and then the next bump in the road, if you will, arrived yesterday with my mom's visit to the ER monday evening and then later admittance into the hospital. She's in the intermediate care unit with congestive heart failure and possible pneumonia. so back to the hometown I go. lots of going home as of late...might need to chew on that for a bit....

I'm not frazzled like some would think I would be...no, i've got peace about this. and not that I know how any of it will turn out...i just know that if God has seen me through one rough and tumble semester/year...that in the end it's gonna be ok. we may not get the results we want but despite that...we have to be thankful.

i could choose to sit and wallow in the tragedies of yesterday....sit in the mourning...fail to see the blessings...but i've chosen different for myself and for my family. and I chose a long while back....time is much better spent appreciating the blessings of now....i can't give credit to myself but only to God...who has shown me immeasurable things...beyond my wildest imagination and if he can make a silly dream like "touring Italy" come true....and can change your path in an unexpected way that leads to joy....then yes...anything is possible with Him. He's given me more than I deserve and I know that its because of His unconditioinal love for each of us.

I understand it now because unconditional love has some powerful meaning in my life today. I realized that there are some things in my life that I'd not yet surrendered...and spending time tied to those things is draining and exhausting...i understand what is mean by the "truth shall set you free."

itunes is on random shuffle..."Adonai" just started....irony/coincidental...no, I think not.

here's the link so you can listen for yourself...