so much to say

this time I've let two months lapse between my posting. sorry about that. life got really hectic here in the last few months. I've been on more roller coaster rides (figuratively) than I care to reminisce about. i made some major changes to my degree plan. went from a management  concentration to health organization management and then changed to a dual masters program. love the program but it has had its share of challenges and by fair probably one of the most intense programs i've endured in terms of course work and expectations. however...its exactly what i love about the program.

i feel that i finally found my niche and its a very wonderful experience.

so with that I embark on an arduous year left in my program. i've obtained an internship with a children's clinic here. so very excited about the work and project possiblities there. i was also elected as VP of Finance for our health organzation management student association. so i'm really excited about the possiblities there and being able to work to improve what we do. will be busy with that in the next year and seeing the importance of networking.

its been a season of growing and with those kinds of seasons growing pains are inevitable. but these growing pains were more than i bargained for...(sigh)...however...i know that its for my good and yes i've learned so many valuable lessons. still alot of decisions to be made and i cant say i have all the answers...in fact if i'm certain of anything, its that things can change on a dime.

i was thinking back to this time last year....getting ready for graduation and getting ready to leave to Italy for a month...by far one of the most amazing and rewarding experiences of my life. i look back on those pictures with alot of nostalgia and fondness for the people who made that such a memorable experience. it changed me in so many ways...and i remember being on the ferry from brindisi to patras: thinking what could the future possibly hold?

never in a million years could i have predicted the things that have happened to me in this last year. i thought i was headed for law school and that road took a deviation for the best. there are still questions in life which i have no answers...and for now i'm content with walking down the road not knowing.

life is kinda funny that way.

some of the things i've learned: you cant make people love you the way you want to be loved or be in a relationships with you when they dont want to be...i wont get into much more about the happenings in my life. i've made this shift back into annonymity. hard to explain but yeah....needless to say i have more lessons to learn.
the summer will be short lived. my program is a two year - straight, no breaks kinda program. and we have these things called enhancements which are like workshops. we have to complete 10 units by fall....so it means workshops two weeks after finals this spring and two weeks before classes start this fall...that leaves a little over a week for a break before summer school starts...and leaves a week between summer and fall...ugh! vacation?

i plan on taking one very soon....and i promise to update a little more...lots more to say but of course its late and i have to be back at school tomorrow morning by 8 am after being there 8 am - 9:30 pm today. it was grueling and i'm exhausted in ways i cant even explain.

90%

once again, its late but i'm finally winding down and have a few things on my mind.

first, let me say its good to be back to the land of the breathing and semi-healthy! lol. The last eight weeks were insane. almost literally. I found myself dealing with out-of-control allergies which triggered a sinus infection. I'm asthmatic so the sinus infection quickly escalated in a weeks time into bronchitis. i saw the dr. 6 different occassions when through a total of 11 medications ranging from antibiotics to breathing inhalations to steroids. yes, i should be completely buff by now - but i'm not...wrong kind of steroids. i give credit to Omnaris that finally got my sinuses under control although it was at the cost of my first born (almost). so finally after 20+ breathing treatments, things are back under control.

i've been playing catch-up on a number of fronts: work, school, home-life, family, and friends.

its kinda exhausting...but i'm getting a much needed rest over the weekend.

ok so the major happenings.

My sis and fam -

They've moved back to Texas. YAY! super happy cause that means i get to see the nephews more often and well....they're so frickin' cute. In fact, sitting on my bookshelf is a master piece created by Sir Timothy. He says to me (while i was there), "Mimi - i made you something. Let me go get it!" so he runs off and runs back with this odd creation in his hands and says, "Look, i made it just for you! you can put it on your shelf with all your decorations and tell your mama look what Timmy made for me!"

I'm crackin up thinking about his little presentation as I type this. Prime example as to why I love those boys. They always make me smile by something they do or say! So yes, I'm very glad they are in Texas. Glad my sis is back cause I didnt get to see her too often. I know that my parents can help her and give both her and her hubby some relief (which is always nice)!

Cary has his next surgery May 10. So if you can be praying for him and the fam - I know they'd appreciate it much. I have to say some good things about my bro-in-law cause he's been through alot and still keeping positive. I know he made this decision in the best interest of his family cause he loves them. so yeah...my viewpoint has definitely changed in a positive direction.

The new man in my life - things are going well. Getting ready to fly out to Austin later this week with a short trip to san antonio and then houston to visit friends. This relationship is so completely different from the others and i'm so happy for what he brings to my life. He's been super supportive of my educational goals and just encouraged me when i've wanted to throw in the towel. Helps me to stay focused on the goal. Overall, he's just an amazing guy and i'm glad our paths crossed in the timing that they did.

school - well, its escuela...and i'll be glad to have a break after graduation next year. fall 2011 hasnt been quite decided but i can say i wont have any classes that summer! for the first time since 2007. amazing...

well Congreso is this weekend and for the first time in 20 years, i wont be in attendance. i cant believe it's been 20 years...there are alot of reasons why i wont be attending but i think at 20 years it was time to say good-bye. Smange is still coordinating the event and all the staff and event will be in my prayers over the weekend and of course the participants.

this year has been about new starts and new roads to travel. at times, its scary and i'm not really sure how to navigate through the new waters. it can be terrifying but at the same time exhilarating and exciting. life has more to offer and i'm working at taking advantage of the opportunities. doesnt make sense to some and to others they get what i'm talkin about. perfectly cool. not meant for everyone to get.

so as always - life is sooo completely than i ever expected and in so many ways its so completely amazing! i wouldnt change how anything has happened. some relationships i wish were better but you can only do what you can do. you cant make someone want to be in a relationship with you and you cant do their part either. doesnt work that way...and so sometimes its just best to say good-bye and pray that you get a second chance later.

i'm done stressing or worrying about things so completely out of my control.

so life is good and its sweet...sometimes bittersweet but sweet nonetheless!

my mocos and me

whew....been a while since i wrote one of these!

i should probably update you all since i've been a bit MIA.

not purposely MIA but i found myself employed and changed my concentration. so instead of getting one master's degree, i'll have two...

some of you know that i'm seeing someone. he lives in austin which means i've frequented austin more than usual. and yes, he made a trip up to north to my neck of the woods and even met my parents. he's sweet and truly amazing.

i'm not really sure where to go with this blog. so much has happened since i last wrote.

i got really sick and i'm under the conviction that the pandhandle is not where i need to live permanently. the weather does not agree with me or rather, i do not agree with it. i'm a tropical people. lol.

alright, i had planned on writing more but its now late and i need to sleep. still recovering from my last round fight with bronchitis/upper respiratory infection/asthma. it was insane....

promise to write and update this weekend. time is making itself a bit more affordable lately. it's nice...

oh happy day...

its been insanity as of late. i realize it's been a really long time since i've updated. i can only say that my delays in posting have been with good reason. Sometime at the first of feb, my allergies went a little BAZURK...and that landed me in the dr's office about the 10th of Feb.

Well needless to say since then, I've been back for a total of 6 visits. I was still pretty congested up until today and i'm still recovering though i feel a ka'million times better than i did a few weeks ago. yes, two antibiotics, three steriods, a series of breathing treatments, and a new inhaler and i'm on the road to recovery!

i realize it's late and i know you're probably thinking i'm burning the midnight oil. its not on purpose. i had a case i needed to wrap up and another major project. the weekend's activities didnt allow me the free-time i was hoping for...but all for good cause.

ok so the super big news everyone's been waiting to hear. mr. casillas met my parents this weekend. yes, this is the new man in my life as one church member referred to him this morning! LOL.

it was a pretty amazing weekend and i plan on expounding more but i need to sleep.

all i can say is i'm pretty happy.

my sis officially moved back to Texas today and i got to visit with my nephews, sister, and her husband for a few hours before heading back to the panhandle. i'm so glad they're back and cant wait to see them soon!

goodness...

my last post was something like January 6. i'd been trying to get a post up since then but life has been crazy insane (all in a good way) in the last few weeks! there were some subjects i didnt want to blog about just yet as they weren't "common public knowledge" but i think its safe to say that most subjects are well known. YAY!

mostly, i've spent alot of time traveling with most of my time spent in Austin! yes that's right, Austin, TX home of the Longhorns. I even went to a longhorn basketball game! LOL. don't choke now. it was after the wake of our horendous firing of Coach Leach and I was very much in an anti-TTU ranting mode. I love my school but it doesnt exempt us from having a bunch of bonehead administrators who dont handle situations very well. not sure if my dad's renewing his season tickets for next year so we will just have to see.

have to say the new year started out in a completely unexpected way. like i couldnt have predicted it if i saw it coming or if it was right in my face! yes sometimes life hands you those kinds of cards and while unexpected they can turn out to be the most amazing experiences of your life. the end of 2009 saw the departure of some "characters" in my life. some i was so ready to see go and others i feel a bit differently about. some have left the picture temporarily and i know will re-enter the picture when its appropriate. perfectly ok with me.

sometimes people just need some time away from each other to grow and experience stuff outside of each other. nothing wrong with that and holding on would only make things worse. again dont assume you know what i'm talking about here cause i can pretty much say unless you've talked to me in the last few days, then you know nothing about this (as my nephew would say!) aye que nino!

love those little boys!

i also have to say there's an amazing new person in my life. well he's not really that new since i've known him for a very long time, but new in that he re-entered my life at the end of Spring 2009. it's been an interesting road since summer 2009 and i have to say that everything between us evolved very naturally. i'm not giving names or details just because of my stand on annonymity but if you must know who he is, he's listed on my facebook status.

just have to say that this relationship is so very different from all the others and what i appreciate most about this person is truth and honesty. I can say that i truly feel like myself when i'm with this person and i dont feel like i'm being forced to be something other than what i really am. in other words, i dont feel like this person is trying to make me what they want me to be which has been the case in many other relationships. so yes i think he's a keeper! what he does and what he says match up completely and i appreciate that more than he probably realizes.

i'm sure you might be asking "is he going to read this?" and the answer is probably so. but i know he'll read it without judgement or making assumptions which is a massive sigh of relief! LOL. in the end, i think the only person who knows what's right for me is me. i have been overwhelmed with the amount of support i've recevied regarding this new relationship and in the end time will tell all, as they say! for now, i'm enjoying every moment of life and soaking in each experience and opportunity. that's all i really can do after all!

i will say that i'm loving school and loving my new program! it has presented challenges which i had been anxiously awaiting. not to mention (drum roll please!) i am now EMPLOYED! whoo hooo...i had a massive slew of interviews all at once and this new position gave me the most peace about pursuits/goals/etc...will allow me to obtain some new experiences while still pursuing educational goals and allowing me to finish as projected. really is amazing and about "right timing." so very glad for that....

getting ready for the day - going to be a long one! but an amazing one at that!

Always
Laura

hello 2010

its now a week into 2010. life as i once new it has changed forever! lol. there's a lot to talk about but i have to keep this one short. need to get some stuff done this afternoon and i've been procrastinating! ish...

school is about to start next week. excited about getting back into a routine. i've also had a few job interviews and phone calls for interviews as well! so i'm hopeful!

enjoyed the visit with the nephews. those boys completely crack me up. they do and say the most funniest things. they also have such completely different personallities.

i have my law school tour this week. three schools this round including two in houston and one in san antonio. will visit a few friends while making the round. there's also some other news but i havent quite decided what i want to say about that. just will say that there is a signficant other in my life and he's pretty amazing. but i'll talk about that later...

for now i need to figure out what to pack. headed to houston tomorrow overight for two tours and then headed to austin for the weekend! have more to share will do so later.

always

one more time

i'm back for a few days...yes in the 806. have a few things to take care of. I wasn't expecting to be here this early but given the weather warnings for tomorrow figured it was better to get here early. have an interview wed and hopin that works out. if not...i know that the right thing will come along in the right time. so not worried about it...just going about due diligence.

i figured i should check my mail too - otherwise it would be a whole month without being checked! ish! ok so its late and gonna spend the day with my madre who is here with me! will be back home sometime wed and then headed to austin the first of the new year and excited about it!

promises and sad good-byes

our trek back to Texas began sometime after 10 am this morning. we made pretty decent time considering we weren't sure what to expect of the weather. we're in springfield, missouri for the night. up and early tomorrow to make the rest of the 10 hour trip home. i woulda liked to have spent more time with my sister but her work schedule just didnt allow us the opportunity.

i'm so glad i made the trip with my parents and i see now that everything worked out as it did this last semester with reason. those little boys are so completely precious to me. i'm going to miss hearing "mimi get up!" in the morning or just "Mimi Mimi!!!" coming from my oldest nephew. they are growing so fast and the things they do/say are just priceless...

makes me sad that we live so far away but i know that it has to be this way. going to make a visit during spring break. i promised my oldest nephew i would. he told me this morning. "Mimi i'm sad" I said, "why Timmy?" and he tells me "Because i dont want you to go!" and i told him "i'll be back at spring break in just a couple of months" and he tells me "why dont you stay for alot of months?" oh just about broke my heart to see his sad little eyes! how could you not love a little face like that?

i hear senorita poochie made besties with my brother who was home over the holidays. i'm sure she's going to meow me to death when i arrive. this break is going to go by too quickly i fear. i want to stretch it out as long as i possibly can. a couple of more trips on the books - both lesiure and business. law school tour and of course get to spend time with friends in the process. always good for the soul. something about sitting with someone you care about over a meal or coffee...no words to explain.

so i got a few new albums for christmas. my new favorite is Carrie Underwood's. been listening to it quite a bit and hoping to grab the new Lady Antebellum as soon as its released Jan twenty-something....also hopin to make a few concerts this semester. have a good feelin about 2010....so weird to see that in print.

alright...to sleep i must go...long day tomorrow and short recovery before i'm back on the road - solo this time around....

hope you're having a joyous holiday season..just a few more days till 2009 ends and 2010 begins...

as always

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

There are only 16 minutes left to Christmas Day. I can't believe my last post was Dec 18th! It's been busy and hectic and with the two little ones - hard to get some alone time to write a blog. I'll gladly sacrifice blog time for time with those two little ones - my nephews.

i'm waiting for some security features to update on my laptop so i figured i'd try to get in a quick note before making the long trek back to Texas tomorrow. it will be two days of traveling to make it back to west texas. as sad as I am to leave, its kinda bitter sweet to head back to angelo. will be there for just a few days. need to run back north to take care of a few things back home.

home...its getting complicated to define where that is exactly. i feel a bit nomadic. i guess home will always be at my parents house - though i'm trying to make my current residence "home." hard to do when you're never there! lol....for now, its quite ok...not really trying to develop in roots there. don't get me wrong - i love life there but it seems that life is shifting once again and this time around i have a solid peace about things. again a need for annonymity - just have to say i'm much, much, much appreciative of the key players involved in the game.

been alot of lessons about timing and alot of sorting through stuff in this last semester. figurative and literally. just have to say that sometimes - we're so bent on taking a position that in our refusal to move in any direction - we fail to see the situation from a different angle which reveals what we really need to know. i'm not talking about any one situation just to say that i cant control anyone but myself. so what others choose to believe or not to believe - i cant control. can't make them love me, can't make them feel differently about me...cant change their minds about what they want to say...can't make them believe in me.

it's liberating because for once I feel like i'm not working so hard at trying to make others happy or others any of the above i just listed....no, instead i feel like life has a new lease if you will because its about doing what i feel i'm supposed to be doing in this world. right now the plan is law school - but it is something i'm praying through and definitely thinking through...its three years of my life.

my time with my nephew has shown me that yes - someday - i do want to be a mom and someday - i do want a family. my time with them has also taught me about timing and the art of time. everything has its time as ecclesiastes so poignantly points out. so instead of trying to rush through to the next phase/season of life - i'm doing what i can to embrace and enjoy the current one.

despite all the drama's life has wrought and all the crazy things happening in the lives of people i love. i can honestly say that life is sweet, very sweet. i'm excited for this spring semester and though i'm not a super fan of my current living location - hey - it is what it is and i've got just a year and a half left there so why not make the most of it?

i think this shift/change started with the changing of my concentration. feel so much better about that choice. i've learned that the greater the risk, the greater the rewards. i mean that was basically what we talked about in finance for the duration. risk...i thought about it...thought about those things that sometimes hold me back from really moving forward. will talk more about that later but just to say that i realized - i dont want to live life and look back and think what if...i tend to be a risk taker and in recent years have been more calculated about taking risk but sometimes i think you just gotta close your eyes and dive in. lol...

while its exhilirating, it can also be terrifying as heck! and sometimes i think to myself - are you sure you know what you're doing? most of the time the answer is no...but hey it makes life interesting none the less...and truly one day i will write a book about all my crazy life experiences.

that brings me back to the 5k training...yeah...need to definitely get back to that. so will set up some training sessions when i make my quick trip back to the north...gonna get back into a routine and get disciplined.

i ate way to many cookies here...i've been like a cookie monster and all because i was feenin' cookies all semester. so completely odd and strange but no more cookies for me... :( - yes i'm sad about it...but cookies are not good - even though they taste so delicious!

Just have to say i'm looking forward to the New Year for sooo many reasons. i'm not sure how much winter we have much left but something about the thought of spring in the air that makes me smile...well..that's not the only thing...again with the annonymity - its necessary.  But if you're reading this as i'm sure you will - i'm much appreciative of you - for your enduring patients - and what you add to my life - you know who you are. ;)

so yes...hoping to sleep well tonight. i've been a bit darth-vader-ish. neglected to mention that after i arrived i came down with a cold or sinus/allergy stuff. everything's clear so i'm bankin on the sinus/allergy/asthma stuff that sometimes catches up to me when i've not really rested and well that's definitely been the case this week.

i will say that i'm glad to have this time with my folks...and time with my sis and her family. wish my bro coulda made it but all things happen for a reason. i'm certain.

i'm sad to leave my sister and her family. will miss hearing "mimi, mimi" so early in the morning. their little boy voices and the sounds of little feet runnin around or coming up the stairs...those boys have taught me just how much family means to me and what a priority it is to me in my life. i know that in large - i am who i am because of them...what i've learned from them and how they challenge me...the lessons never stop and as long as i'm living and breathing - i know that i'll continue learning about living life and the meaning of it.

as always - on the road again...

Walk with me in the moonlight

the last post found me beginning my winter break travels. i managed to pack what i thought i needed into two major suitcases, load my car, and make my way home south.

so this post...finds me re-packing - though a lighter load this time - getting ready to head north. Today I did all the things I absolutely loathe to do. had the oil changed in the suburban, got the inspection sticker, had it washed, gased it up, and am packing!

well attempting to pack. i'm listening to Sheryl Crow's Motivation in hopes that it might generate some real motivation so i can finish packing. the last bit that i need to do is the toiletry bag. i decided to not take the whole bag of stuff. so i have some smaller travel sizes of the stuff i use on a regular basis. there are things you just shouldnt leave home without. a toothbrush is one of them...and chones would be another...but i digress.

today was crazy insane with errands. i think i'm mostly packed now. (I took a slight break to finish up). i also probably have more clothing than i really need. and i hear its supposed to be super cold....

just gotta say i'm looking forward to reading books to my nephews and drinking hot chocolate and making smores...(activities planned during Laura's week of day care). so excited...you dont even know!

had a bday dinner to celebrate my dad's bday. technically its tomorrow and according to our news station he turns five. yeah i know, dont ask! so we got the family friends together for a meal and as always good company! these folks are like family to me - been there to support my parents through a number of situations and i've watched my parents do the same for them. so it was cool to celebrate with them. though my carrot cake turned out to be strawberry so i have to call the bakery tomorrow while i'm on the road! seriously....

alright so random but just had to post this...my friend just said to me, "my computer is like stupid boys!"

i gotta say that some old friends from my past have re-surfaced in my life in recent weeks. its been so sweet and amazing. so glad to have them back and it feels like old days....i can only say that that must be what unconditional love is...its beautiful and amazing and makes me grateful.

i'm partially delirious...going to sleep...an 18 hr trip ahead!