and we're off....

it's a little insane right now. getting ready for finals tomorrow. so i've been studying my brains to oblivion. have homework due as well. plus getting ready for this shin-dig in lubbock aka my cousin's graduation. i haven't packed and am not planning on it until tomorrow after finals.

i've never been so ready to take a test in all my life. if that wasn't dramatic enough for me, i finished all my "paperwork" to take the LSAT in December and the GMAT in November. About a month apart. Figured i could use the extra time for the LSAT. not sure how its gonna turn out, but what i do know is I have to give it my best shot. can't leave any avenue unexhausted.

i applied for an international study program for next summer. but i also found out about a program to China over Christmas break. i applied so we'll see how that goes.

working on wrapping up my last course with Dallas telecollege as well. might re-take a bio course just to help my GPA but i'm debating. i have a massive amount of hours for the fall...so we'll see.

only two weeks before classes start up again. i'm excited for once. mainly because since i've spent more time in the business building i feel a bit more invested. been visiting my professors a bit more which isnt something i did too often on account of working full-time. it's kinda nice. i feel like i'm having the college experience i never had. and of course that would be due to my own doing but its nice to have education on the forefront of the priority list for a change.

all in all, i feel like this goal is completely attainable. just alot of variables left in the mix that are completely out of my control. and this is where my faith in Jesus comes in. at the same time, i'm ok with whatever the road may lay before me. i've survived through worse so i'm happy to be where i am because of those experiences.

i attribute any sort of wisdom to aging and finally coming to my senses...listening to my accountability partner of long ago. sometimes it is better to rely on the experiences of others rather than experiencing it yourself.

i'm watching Transformers for the kamillionth time. trying to decompress my brain.

these next few weeks will be a celebration of sorts. i'm excited about it all....but i'm really excited about the approaching fall. because that leads us to Christmas. oh how i love Christmas.

i had some more toughts i wanted to focus on but seriously...my brain is fried.

still havent found what i'm looking for

four whole sale distributors, five phone calls, seven emails, ten hours of internet searches, and six days later...i still can't locate a particular Gerbera daisy i'm looking for. this would be the flowers i need for my cousins graduation luncheon. i'm waiting to hear back from a contact in Miami and worse case scenario, i'll be ordering a mixed box and picking out what i need.

i could probably get them from a distributor in Lubbock but this particular distributor requires me to have a special permit which i dont have because i dont do the party planning/floral decor thing all that often. but i'm considering getting one. might come in handy. plus i've had more inquiries about weddings and parties...so thinking of taking this hobby to the next level. its been alot of fun putting this latest party together.

working .. up some last minute items and then packing it so we'll be ready to go thursday evening. gonna get to see my bro again. dude...had agreat time with him this weekend. went by too fast though.

slowly starting to get over this "cold" probably sound worse than i feel.
classes are coming to an end with finals on thurs. (AGH!)

i'm feelin a bit laid back about it all. just cause i'm like eh, what can i do. study and pray i do well. waiting on word for a few things and working on getting some projects finished up around here. if i can get done what i'm hopin too. it'll be nice.

hard to believe in just two weeks, i'll be back to the school grind. new schedule, new professors, some new classmates. been good so far and i'm gettin to know some of my professors. i dont think i've ever spent that much time at school. so in that way i think it's good. i feel a bit more invested in my educational career. looking at a few options.

also getting back to music. decided to make a couple of purchases related to that. the first being a new acoustic guitar. going to upgrade...and no, not to something super fancy like a high end taylor/martin. no, i'm going with a Breedlove thanks to my good friend Eli. the second is another Roland keybord. i have a Korg triton and just dont love it the way i loved my jv-80. yeah that ole skool! lol....so i need to do a bit more research of the roland i want but nothing to intense. just a basic model with a few particular "sounds" that i'm looking at. i wrote a few songs but kinda strayed from music for a while. i think its time to go back and that requires a clean organized workspace.

so working on that...and changing some environmental issues...like changing out from carpet to wood floors. changing colors and schemes....etc. i'm excited and the organization keeps me from feeling flustered and chaotic. i'll have to post pics of the new work space. the other major project is to get rid of the excess i currently possess...and that's on a few fronts. we won't delve into that just now. just feelin the need to get rid of some stuff...both in possessions and in other realms.

had an interesting experience recently. brought me to a new place and an "enlightened" place. interesting...can't go into too much details. i fear i'd hurt someone's feelings. i know, i know...not usually a concern for me. i dont want to be too obvious what i'm talking about. just to say that my "beliefs" continue to be moved into a better direction. frustrating at the same time cause i think to myself..."boy that was hypocritical" but i also have to think.."hmmm, how many times have i worn that shoe?"

cuts a little deeper and with more pain when you realize your thought applies to your own life at some point. and well that's what i mean about my beliefs being moved in better directions. at the same time, i think what i'm struggling with most is finding that place of authenticity vs being how others think i should be and by that i mean in regards to relating to others. i've been thinking about Jesus and his love for all people. yet, i'm also struck with the fact that he was so angry with the vendors in the temple.

it's an arena i'm not quite ready to blog. Just on the cusp of that issue. either way...i have to say that i definitely feel i'm where i need to be and doing what i need to be doing. it's a good feeling and the peace seriously does pass all understanding.

chicken noodle soup and gatorade

I'm not one of those people who needs exactly eight hours of sleep to function. I do better with either seven or nine. So this morning after seven I found it a bit odd that I struggled so hard to wake up more so than usual. I was also lagging behind and so was running a bit late because of it. But I ignored it until it hit me during Accounting. ish....just felt miserable.

well, i continued to ignore the awful icky sick feeling thinking oh i just slept wrong but as we were walking through Sam's, I realized my body was telling me I needed to slow down. so i came home tried to take a nap and started the usual gatorade/chicken noodle soup.

not a good time to be sick, though i dont think there ever is a good time.

what did make the day better is the new John Mayer tickets and shirts that came in. Got home from school and there they were waiting at home. so i'm praying and believing that whatever it is that i've got will go away just as fast as it came.

it doesnt help much that i have a major exam tomorrow. lucky for me, i decided to wisely spend my time this weekend studying a bit. the exam this morning seemed a bit easier thanks to the studying. trying to develop better study habits cause really i dont have many. in that way, schools sorta come easy, but i'm learning there are some subjects i need to spend my time with my nose in the books.

so supernerd laura is back to the books, chicken noodle soup, and gatorade! yips!

Simple joys

Friday! i woke up this morning and thought, today's gonna be crazy. can i get five more minutes of sleep? and then i realized that if i remained in bed any longer i was going to make myself late for class. today was a review for monday's test in stats. my noon class was cancelled which meant i'd be driving to Brownwood to see my sister before she went to work. my mom wanted to see the grandkids and see the new house.

the orginal plan was that we would stay overnight. however, i have two major tests next week. as much as i love my family and wanted to spend time with my sister. i knew if we didn't come back tonight then we wouldn't arrive until sometime tomorrow afternoon. forget being able to study there. i barely could go to the ladies room without my nephew beating down the door screaming "mimi, open the door! come out!" he's a bossy one that Timothy! LOL...serves me right. i'm getting a taste of my own medicine.

the highlight of my day was getting to sit and chat with my sister and spending some time with the kids. the kids were at daycare, so my mom and i decided to pick up the oldest and spend some time with him. which is exactly what we did. oh his cute little face that light up when he saw us. he yells, "Gee! MIMI! my gee's here!!!" why he calls my mom "Gee" no idea? so the first thing he says to me is how he's left us a present of his own, but not the good kind. aye! so he says "i get my stuff!" and off we go to collect his daily papers. and then off we go to his house to change him before running around. he's adorable.

we got to spend about an hour and half with him before his dad came home with Peter who is growing like a weed. he's up to 10 lbs now. amazing...just amazing. to think he entered this world weighing just four pounds and is now a healthy growing boy! he's already starting to pick his head up and staring around. they do grow really fast. which is why i'm the camera happy tia. twenty kajillion pics of the ninos!

well, we departed just after 6:30 pm. decided to stay in tonight on account of my early morning run. not to mention the stack of movies i have either rented or are from netflix. i think i'm a movie junkie. i started watching this movie and completely crashed out. like people talking to me and me wanting to respond in my head but not able to fully communicate verbally. what came out was mumbled jibberish. by the way, i do mumble sometimes.

anyhow...to switch gears a bit. my mom's doing great. getting adjusted to some new changes but its all for the better. she's recovering from surgery and we've had some funny moments in the process. my dad told the surgeon that my mother was crazy. shoulda seen her the day he brought her home. hijole. but i'm glad to see she's in better spirits. she wasn't exactly happy with us for making her go through with this surgery.

my dad left bright and early this morning. headed to the valley with the san angelo group that's part of TBM's disaster relief efforts there in wake of Hurricane Dolly. He was really excited to go and man, i have to say this is my dad's passion. helping people in need. that's why i love Angie's parents so much. for their genuine hearts, service to humanity, and their devotion to God.
I can remember ever so clearly sitting at a Pizza Hut or Frazoli's (the where doesnt matter much) with Smange's parents talking about faith and what it meant. I remember the tears in her Dad's eyes as he talked about what he was most passionate about. That was a defining moment in my life and's one of those moments I'll remember for the rest of my life.

When I feel like what I know and what should be fail me...I go back to that moment and remember that true unconditional love exists. That is the reason why i say they inspire and encourage me. That conversation always takes me to a place where I have no other alternative but to subtract my feelings, emotions, needs, desires, hurts, wishes, and wants from the equation always leading me to see a bigger picture outside of myself. It reminds me that it's a privilege to be part of a bigger family that surpasses blood relations. More than anything it takes me back to gratitude and that kind of gratitude leads to a humility that can't be adequately described by words. The closest that I can come to is one word.

Broken.

sitting here safely in my own home, having what i need and being afforded privileges i've been afforded: I can say i'm grateful. And so tonight my prayers go out to those folks affected by Dolly. I'm most grateful that this natural disaster wasn't to the extreme degree of Katrina, but i'm sure there are folks who's homes have sustained damage and loss. also i pray blessings for those selfless volunteers who are on the frontlines trying to meet basic needs like food, shelter, showers...and for the volunteers to come who will help with mudding units and reconstruction efforts. it's no surprise to me that Smange's parents are coordinating efforts there...so many prayers for strength and wisdom as they do the work they are called to do.