Ricardo and I have been a bit more introspective and retrospective as of late. We celebrated our 8 year anniversary together and our 3 year marriage anniversary with no major fan fare but there was, of course, cake!
If you could label this season, it would be “appreciating the little things.” Tonight Ricardo and I had an impromptu date nite. I was famished and work has been insanely crazy but I remembered to put my phone down and just take in the moment with him. I’ve had a project that sorta went of the rails and I’ve been putting in the late nights trying to right-size it. We’re 95% of the way there and hopefully tomorrow, we’ll be able to put it to rest. So to say I’ve been a bit distracted would be a huge understatement.
Yet all the while, life is still happening to those who are in our inner circle. It’s been hard to keep connected but we’re working hard at checking in on folks and working to meet needs as able. There’s quite a few people on my heart lately but tonight I wanted to talk about Patricia and Chris.
I met Patricia while working at Seton and after I got to know her, just really connected with her. She’s a fellow believer so having that same understanding in faith makes it easy to find commonality but Patricia just has a very sweet spirit about her. Always seeking to do the right thing which I greatly admire. She was in our wedding and Ricardo and I got to know Chris, her husband, better as a result!
To describe them is to say they are two peas in a pod. They remind me a lot of my own Mom and Dad. Ricardo and I just hold them in great esteem. This past fall we learned that after a lengthy journey, Chris had been diagnosed with stage four cancer. Ricardo and I drove that evening to go visit with them and to let them know we were standing with them and joining them in prayer for healing!
They’ve been on my heart a lot...I’d just witnessed my sister lose her husband, her life partner to a lengthy illness. I’ll just say that if you’re married or in a relationship, the thought of losing your loved one likely will hit you in the gut. Chris and Patricia have been married a few years longer than Ricardo and I. So for me it just hit me, in a place of “but Lord more time!”
They certainly haven’t given up the fight and they continue to believe that God can bring healing to Chris’s body but I also see that “peace that passes all understanding...” it’s that piece that allows us to mourn differently because of hope. I saw it in my sister and I’ve seen it in so many other believers we know going through tough, gut wrenching moments!
So you may be asking why the mention?
It’s why I deliberately put my phone down during dinner tonight. Ricardo and I spend a lot of time on our phones. For one, I’m connected to my work via a work cell phone, iPad, laptop, desktop, etc...my livelihood is based on being connected and available. I’m blessed in that my boss understands work life balance and encourages it. So when needed I tend to burn hours working to finish whatever project we have. But I do work equally as hard to take downtime and time away.
So back to dinner with Ricardo...last night he asked me about Chris and Patricia. I told him I was following their blog but needed to touch base with them.
We try to stop and visit when we’re in Austin and we’ll be there this Sat with Ricardo’s family. The conversation with Ricardo has a lot of significance because that’s so very much who Ricardo is. He won’t admit it but I would describe him as being pretty tender-hearted and a bit of a bull in a china cabinet shop! Between the two of us, if feelings are hurt, 80% of the time, it’s not me! That’s how I knew I’d met my “penguin” in life! Ricardo is very much all the things I’m not but it’s reciprocal. A very fitting definition...
Ricardo brings a much needed balance to my life in ways I’d never thought imagineable. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. Thinking about our time together and purposefully taking the time to find appreciation in those moments. Life hit us hard for the last two years but we’ve continued to plug along knowing it’s a season. I’m grateful for this man, Ricardo, in all sorts of ways. But largely this season of gratitude was brought by a point-in-time realization that we’re not guaranteed tomorrow.
After learning about Chris and Patricia, I consciously stopped and thought what would I do if we were in their shoes. Would I change anything about how “we do life” together? And the one word that came back was “grace...”
Grace is not something that comes naturally to me but Ricardo and I have known for some time that God’s been stirring in some unusual ways in our lives. I’m not sure how that’s going to translate in the days to come but witnessing Chris and Patricia’s journey has brought a new introspective and reflective perspective on my marriage to Ricardo.
Not to say that things weren’t good but I think as time progresses you move into a season of “being comfortable” so all those little things you did early in your relationship lose priority over every day life things like work, cleaning your home, grocery shopping, etc...
In those moments that Ricardo drives me bat-apes crazy, I find myself stopping and thinking “is it worth it in the long-run? Would this argument have any merit if our situation were different? Is this really about the point itself or something else?” My perspective is colored by lenses that fully realize that time is a gift. When I stop and view our situation with those lenses, grace is much easier to come by.
We continue to hope and pray for Patricia and Chris but their journey has forever changed ours! I think of the verse “as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another...”this has never been more true!
We ask that you join us in praying for strength and healing for Chris and Patricia!
Below are a few photos from our wedding! When I think of Chris and Patricia, I think the second photo captures them perfectly!
Today I encourage you to take a few moments to love on your spouse. It doesn’t take grand gestures, it could be as simple as sitting at dinner and putting our phones down and just enjoying the time we have together!
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