contemplation and yearnings

I seem to only write blogs late in the evenings or on saturday mornings. Apparently, that's when I do most of my reflection.

So this week has just about taken everything outta me. Too much going on and I'm grateful for friends who've lifted my spirits and reminded me of the important stuff.

my bro-in-law was readmitted and we're waiting to see if he's going back in for surgery. it's been hard to watch my sister and her boys walk down this road. i'm itching to pay them a visit. working on the details of trying to get there. just wish i didnt live 9 hours away. that makes it really hard.

then there's work which seems to have piled upon us in a hurry. we had some personnel changes and that's all i'll say about that. seems like there will be possiblities for the future but we wait for time to tell. i came home for work today and worked another three hours at home. insanity...but i cant complain because i really do love my job.

i also joined the board of a children's clinic here. that i'm super excited about because i did my internship with this clinic so i know firsthand how much the staff love their patients. i'm glad to be serving and using my time to further their mission and cause.

my mom decided to retire. its official. i'm happy for her but also uncertain how else I feel about it. i'm glad definitely - she needs the break and to rest and to spend time with her precious grandsons. they're too hilarious together...

but that means she'll have lots of free time and i'm not sure what that means for me! LOL...i kid of course. i love my mother and enjoy my time with her. but we have a time spent together limit/cap before one of us gets mad or upset at the other. I think its because we're more alike than I like to think.

there are just alot of unknowns right now. makes life challenging. but then again i knew this life wouldnt be challeng free. i'm trying to concentrate and focus on the things that matter.

John Mayer's "clarity" best describes the state I'd like to be in or am in...just feelin "heavier things" this week. i know better than to make decisions/choices in an "emotional state" because emotions are ever so fleeting. just gonna let time sort things out. for the first time in a whilee, i feel very mellowed out. is that odd? or does that mean i'm finally growing up?

whatever it means...i'm just going to enjoy being in the moment and focusing on the things that matter.