Well hello 2012! Last time I wrote was I don't remember when and I honestly meant to write and update on the latest happenings. But things got crazy over the Christmas holidays. For starters, my bro-in-law ended 2011 and started 2012 in the hospital. He gave us a real scare! He's still in the hospital and slowly recovering so we appreciate any prayers you can send up on his behalf!
ok so I thought the crazy drama would end there but it didn't...and to be honest, I'm not really concerned with any of it so we won't discuss it. But Ricardo and I did spend the most time, we've ever spent together as in the same city...same vicinity, etc...you get it?
He spent Christmas break in Lubbock. So after the festivities with both our families, we made the trek with Miss Fancy in tow to Lubbock. This was huge for a number of reasons but mainly because this would be the test to see if our relationship works because it works or if it works because we live so far away from each other! lol
I laugh about this but I was probably just as serious/scared about the results as Ricardo was. Mainly because we were closing in on our two year anniversary. According to our early plans, we should've been married by now but for one reason or another just hadn't gone in that direction.
Looking back, I think it was for good reason. There are just some things that sometimes need to happen to naturally evolve you to the place you need to be for certain life events to be in their right timing.
anyhow..there is no speculation about marriage, etc so don't go drawing conclusions or making assumptions. what is fact is that Ricardo and I celebrated two years together and it was good. we were able to reflect on the last two years and if anyone tells you that relationships are clear cut and simple, stay away from their advice cause they've been drinking from the "lala land" punch bowl.
relationships are anything but and for some odd reason it finally clicked that there are no right or wrong answers to relationships but that it really is about honesty, communication, trust, and vulnerability.
Ricardo and I passed the can we live in the same vicinity test and honestly, it was nice to have him close by. so we're working on remedying the whole "living half way across the state from one another" situation. that makes me happy...and honestly, i'm happy with where we are and how our relationship has naturally progressed.
I finally realized I just needed to sit back and enjoy where we are at. It won't always be like this and time is short. that's been the major lesson as of late (given my bro-in-laws health situation). you cant take anything for granted.
i've done some travelling with my brother in the last month. so we've had lots of conversations about life and living. Ricardo and I have talked about it as well. I dont know how long my time on earth will be, but if I'm called home - I want to be able to look back at my life and know that I did what I could and should, took advantage of every opportunity afforded me, that I loved deeply - loved hard - with deep meaningful relationships leaving nothing unsaid. I want all that so that I could go in peace knowing it was my time to go.
peace is a funny thing because it's not something that arrives with huge fanfare. no it quietly creeps in and is what puts our souls at ease and calms our fears. it gives us hope that everything is going to be ok. doesnt leave us in a frantic state but leaves us calm with understanding. it is the peace that passes all understanding. that is what I wish for those that i love deeply who are in my life: peace.
its what i feel about Ricardo, feel and know about our future together and what I have about where i'm at now and what I need to be doing to prepare for my future. i trust 2012 to be in God's hands and know that whatever we face, we'll face together as a family. we'll laugh, cry, be silent but we WILL be. God's promised to never leave us alone and I find that so true now in my family life and the things my family is enduring.
I have such hope for my sister and her family...for my two nephews whom I love and adore. their smiles mean the world to me. I never knew that two little boys could completely turn my world upside down but they along with Ricardo in differing ways have stolen my heart.
2011 was the year of endings and beginnings. 2012 will bring additional changes both welcomed and not so welcoming. but that is life. a cycle of seasons. the point is to find the joy and beauty in each season for it will endure but a brief moment.
Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a moment for all things. for joy, laughter, sorrow, sadness, giving, mourning, etc. so take time in this moment to live, embrace, and put your brave face on. for the next season is already on its way.
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